Fucking sociopath

[Alan]

Now that I finished writing this I see that it's fucking long, but I really needed to let it out, and I hope you guys read it. I need some support.


You know that bullshit thing some men say about "crazy chicks, man. They're awesome in bed."
That's bullshit. Genuine crazy is fucked up and you never want to get involved with them.
I was going out with this girl about two months ago. From day one it was fucked up. I basically 'stole' her from a friend just because she was too hot and I wanted her, so I'm not innocent here. First night we go out, we have a threesome with two friends. That is just not normal. No matter how liberal you are, you just don't do that on the can't-even-be-considered-first-date. Especially in a place as conservative as northern Mexico. It's fucking obvious that it had nothing to do with sexual liberation and all with licentiousness and stupidity.
Then she becomes a guest with my group of friends, and she starts hitting on my best friend. With what happened at first and with my best friend being a woman, I just thought it was awesome and allowed it to continue. I'm a fucking fourteen-year old dipshit.
Then comes the rave season in town; she never joins us in getting wasted because she's 'trying to be healthy' and yet immediately drags me at raves to look for ecstasy or coke.
THEN the boring drama comes and she starts telling me about her life, particularly about her ex-boyfriend.
The ex-boyfriend IS fucked up. She told me how he used to hit her and keep her in his room for hours; his method of punishing her was cutting her back and during sex he cut her arms. I know that in this much she wasn't lying because a friend of mine told me she made out with a girl at a party and the boyfriend was so pissed she hit her in front of everyone else. Needless to say, I soon found my friend was talking precisely about this lovely couple.
I start trying to protect her from him. We're restricted to places we can go and she doesn't let me be affectionate in public; her logic is that she compensates me heavily when we're alone. I wasn't happy, I like romance, sex is not a good trade-off for romance.

After a while we break up and I always stay in good terms with exes, but she took that as an open window to rely on me as much as when we were going out (if what we had can be called that) without anything in exchange, to the point where she borrowed 150 bucks from me.
She keeps going out with me, demands that she keeps hanging out with my friends, yet increasingly belittled me in front of them. Her attitude completely changed when we were alone and tried to keep flirting with me - bipolar or just a bitch, I don't know.
Keeps telling me shit about her ex, a guy I forgot to mention used to be my friend, but now I can't see him the same way after seeing her scars. One day she tells me she needs to tell me something important; we separate from the rest, and she tells me that her ex stalks her so bad that she wants him dead. The 150 bucks were to pay sicarios to kill him, who didn't do the job.
The thing was, with the things she had told me about him, and the way she was talking about this, I also wanted him dead. And I wasn't the only one; a good friend of mine who also went out with her a year ago was the one that hired the sicarios. One of the most laid-back pacifist people you could ever meet, paid a gun for hire. The sicarios didn't fulfill their part.
We go to the place of a friend of mine's who's a knife enthusiast. He's showing us butterfly knives and she asks if she can buy one from him because she loves knives. Later I tell him to never sell her one, and he tells me not to worry, that he wasn't going to, that "she doesn't seem right."

Some weeks pass without much mention of the ex and I don't see him in the places I usually hang out. We're in summer school and she's struggling with pre-calculus. I moved to this side of the river for summer so I can be closer to work, and I tell her to move in with me while her summer classes end, so I can help her study. She moved in; not once she asked me for help.
I keep pressuring her to study, she tells me not to worry. Two weekends ago I tell her I'm staying in Juarez, and I return on sunday and she's not here, so I assume she's with friends and will come back tomorrow.
Tomorrow I don't see her, and her mother calls me; many friends have looked for her and no one knows anything about her. No one has heard from her in five days.
I keep trying to reach her, I go to her work and they tell me they haven't seen her, I asked her Best Friend if she hasn't seen her and she tells me she sent her a voice mail telling her that she's going to be with me in Juarez during the weekend.
The next day she texts me apologizing; that she was with her Best Friend since Thursday. Fucking bullshit. Another friend "O" asks me the latest from her, because she saw her at a concert with her ex and "O" wanted me to reassure her they're not together again. Everyone knows how abusive he was.
I choose to go to her math class and wait for her instead of waiting until she decides to stop by the apartment, and I see the ex waiting for her. "Fuck it, they're definitely together." I tell him I need to talk with her, so he'll have to see her some other time, he leaves. For an abusive boyfriend he was quite polite with me.
The class is over, she sees I'm waiting for her and glares at me with hate. I tell her to walk with me and I'm taking her to her Best Friend's job so that she can tell us the truth, but she threatens to leave if we go over there, so I just confront her alone.
I tell her I stopped giving a fuck about what she does with her life, but I made a promise to her mother to take care of her while she's under my roof. She yells at me that we're smothering her. I yell back at her that if none of us know anything from her in five days we have all the right to smother her. In our city two days incomunicado means you're fucking dead.
I tell her that she moved in so I could help her, and she didn't take advantage of the help I offered, yet chose to take advantage of me in so many other way, lying to me all throughout, using me as an alibi with her friends while she used her friends as alibis with me.
If she doesn't want me to take care of her and fulfill my promise to her mother, she can get the fuck out. I tell her she has until the weekend to pack her things and go back to her mother or grandmother. She accepts. She texts me that she's very sorry and she still loves me, yet she was cold to me in the apartment the two days left before the weekend. Most awkward two days I have ever felt.
I come back this sunday and her clothes are still there. I wake up on monday and she's not there. Come back, same thing. Tuesday, still no sign of her on the morning, but her work uniform wasn't here on the afternoon.
I know she's not going to look for me and have no way of knowing where she'll physically be, so today I texted her asking her why her clothes are still here; that she had to leave on the weekend and it's almost the next weekend already.
No response. I guessed as much.

I come home and put my stuff down. Go to the bedroom. Her clothes are not there anymore. I inspect the place and find nothing of her, except the pots and pans which she brought.
I'm pretty sure she didn't go home. I'm pretty sure she just left with her ex, who shouldn't be called ex anymore.
And I'm pretty sure her mother hasn't known from her in days.
Her Best Friend hasn't heard from her. She rarely picks up her phone. And she erased her facebook.

All my friends that met them, including the two girls of the first night we went out, and my best friend of course, tell me that it's good I took her out of my life. That there was something clearly wrong with her, especially because she's clearly the one that sought her ex again. She even convinced me that maybe this one murder was justified, made me wonder if I should help, and manipulated another friend into actually fucking paying for such an action, just to end up willingly in the arms of the man she fantasized of murdering barely a month ago. Hell, maybe we should be more worried about him. She used to call herself a masochist, but I thought she was only joking. Now I realize why she said it, and why she wanted to kill him at the same time as she wanted to be with him. He has ***** her several times and she doesn't care, and from speaking with him he has accidentally hinted that it's her who asks him to cut her.

But honestly, I don't give a shit. I tried to help her and she ignored me on the best days and used me on the worst.
There's only two things I care about right now:

First, I have to call her mother and tell her whatever she doesn't know, and I hope that she does not blame me for the decisions of her daughter. Although she's the bitch, I'm the one that gave her an opening by telling her to move in with me during summer.

And second, that bitch better give me back by 150 fucking dollars.

[JCC]

Jesus fucking christ, that's heavy.

[HumanePain]

That is one of the reasons I am glad to be married and not have to deal with the drama of new women and the unknown baggage they bring. I got tired of the occasional psycho-coke bitches too. But to be fair, there are as many men who use and abuse women as there are women who use and abuse men. Sweet dreams are made of these, who are we to disagree?

Hope you get your $150 back, but don't hope too much.

[Saya]

Holy shit.

You're doing the right thing, though. After you talk to her mom and get your money back, don't talk to her at all. I can't say I've been through the same thing ( I didn't date her and she didn't hire a hit), but I know the type. If she needs help she has family, don't let her manipulate you or make you feel bad for her.

I know you're already planning to do that but I just want to reinforce that, remember how you feel now if she comes to you months down the road begging for help.

[Underwater Ophelia]

That sucks.

Here's what sucks more: She is DEFINITELY going to try to contact you again, and she'll definitely tell you she's done with him, she needs you for help, and she'll cry and she'll make promises.

But of course, it's bullshit.

[KontanKarite]

Shit. Pull a Pilot. Wash your hands of this. Be 100% honest, let her mom know what the 150 dollars is for, and let the chips fall where they may. You don't need this shit in your life and if you want to go the extra mile, point her mom in the direction she could go to find help for her daughter.

In the end, it's not your responsibility, but it's at least decent of you to point this family in any direction they could go to find some help.

Good luck.

[Despanan]

Holy Shit dude...you've somehow managed to find a girl who is worse than all of Kontan's ex's COMBINED (keep in mind, I didn't think it was possible to top one or two of them ON THEIR OWN.)

I'd call the 150 a wash and never talk to her again. Count yourself lucky she hasn't tried to convince some shmuck to murder you.

Don't ever "steal" a chick. If she can be "stolen" you don't want her.

[korinna5555]

Originally Posted by Despanan

Holy Shit dude...you've somehow managed to find a girl who is worse than all of Kontan's ex's COMBINED (keep in mind, I didn't think it was possible to top one or two of them ON THEIR OWN.)

My thoughts EXACTLY, as I was reading.
Sorry, K.




Alan, I don't even know what to say, man.. that's some fucked up shit, there.

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

Dude, don't stick your dick in crazy.
It doesn't end well.

[KontanKarite]

As they say... onwards and upwards.

[Still Jack]

I think 150 $ are the least of your problems at the moment. Someone that hires a hitman once isn't going to hesitate a second time.

I mean I've been in relationships with compulsive liars, coke-addicts, self harmers, alcoholics and the odd Smack addict. But I've never been in a relationship with someone quite as fucked up as that. Good luck mate.

[JCC.]

Change your name, move, get new friends and phone number. I am not joking. People like this will fucking find you if you try to break off contact. You don't want to come home one day and find your TV on fire and some crazy fucking lunatic bitch stabbing your bed.

This is, for once, not a joke.

[Apathy's_Child]

Originally Posted by Despanan

Holy Shit dude...you've somehow managed to find a girl who is worse than all of Kontan's ex's COMBINED (keep in mind, I didn't think it was possible to top one or two of them ON THEIR OWN.)

I'd call the 150 a wash and never talk to her again. Count yourself lucky she hasn't tried to convince some shmuck to murder you.

Don't ever "steal" a chick. If she can be "stolen" you don't want her.

This - the last part on particular. I'm surprised no one else seems bothered by the fact that you fucked over your buddy because his girl was "hot and you wanted her". Hot chicks are a dime a dozen, and even if you and this guy weren't all that tight, that is fucking bad form, dude.

Also, yeah, changing your number and moving at the earliest opportunity is probably a good idea, given the kind of things she's fucking with.

With you on crazy chicks in general. In my experience, they're no more freaky in bed than the sane ones, and TOTALLY not worth the hassle. I used to get suckered into that protective shit towards fucked-up women in my younger days, until eventually realizing that if they qualify for the label of crazy, all it's gonna do is drag you down with them.

[JCC.]

Everyone should bang a fat chick at least once in their lives. They're willing to get way freakier than the freaky chicks I've known, and the weight makes a fucking good difference to it.

And yeah, Despanan is spot on. I was with this woman when I was about thirty, it got pretty serious, and it turned out she was married, so she tells me hey, man, I'll get a divorce and then we can be together! Fuck that noise. If she's willing to cheat on someone she's married to with someone like me, there's nothing stopping her doing the same to me.

[Apathy's_Child]

I've never banged a fat chick, but I got down with a sorta chubby one one time. She kept trying to bite my nipples, in the end I had to call a break and tell her to cut that shit out. She redeemed herself by sticking a chubby finger up my ass come the time though. Overall, pretty good night for a one-night stand (I usually find them pretty disappointing, unfulfilling physically because of that ol' chestnut about how every likes different shit and it's all about the kind of discovery that takes more than 1 night, and also I hate the awkwardness of trying to gage whether I can get away with a hug because I'm a sappy bastard).

[JCC.]

In my experience, they're totally up for a post-coital snuggle. The majority are more affectionate, maybe because they think they won't get much in their life time. Big chicks are wicked awesome in bed.

[Apathy's_Child]

Dawww, manipulation of low self-esteem never sounded so sappy. I totally have to try that out when my teeny gf dumps me.

"Now get over here and gimme a hug........ because you're a worthless bitch and no other man willl ever want you. Snuggle into my shoulder. Good girl."

[vindicatedxjin]

Alan, I agree with everyone else with the fact that you have to cut her off from your life COMPLETELY. She's obviously got mental issues and you've already tried to help her. Thing is that you CAN'T. I've kind of been in a situation like this with my ex. He was a complete psychopath. And it took forever for me to get back to a normal life, because even after we broke up...he still tried to mess with me. This is one of those situations where it can get dangerous.

[JCC.]

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Dawww, manipulation of low self-esteem never sounded so sappy. I totally have to try that out when my teeny gf dumps me.

"Now get over here and gimme a hug........ because you're a worthless bitch and no other man willl ever want you. Snuggle into my shoulder. Good girl."

Well, shit, now you made me sound like an asshole! But seriously, the only serious relationships I've ever had was with bigger chicks. The rest are too high maintenance and expect too much. It's not about manipulation, it's more a case of them being more willing, and even wanting, to do the sappy shit I enjoy, like holding hands and just chilling on the couch watching M*A*S*H. It's a plus that I find bigger chicks wicked hot.

My point is, due to the low self-esteem which more often than not comes with not being a rake, they'll be way more wild than other girls. They'll want to impress you. Think about it like this, if you didn't get asked out or have many relationships, wouldn't you want real fucking bad to make sure that it would work out once you got someone interested? That's where it comes from.

[Apathy's_Child]

Nah, I was just kidding. It's pretty obvious that you're not much more suave than me in the sap-stakes.

[JCC.]

Yeah, as much of a piss flap as I am, I'm still a sad fuck when it comes to the romance part of things. I know I can live pretty well wihout sex, because I'm great at jerking myself off, but not being able to be close to someone always bites and I miss those things the most. Sex is a bonus. A really nice bonus.

Also, crazy chicks are lame.

[Ben Lahnger]

The most important thing I've learned about people is this: People only change when they want to. And that doesn't happen very often.

It doesn't matter how earnest or energetic you are. It doesn't matter how many people try to work together as a group to get the person to see the light. They only will change if they come to the conclusion themselves that they need to change. Some fucked-up people never do.

So it's time to decide if you're going to change, Alan.

If I see someone is truly making an effort to make a change in their lives, I will bend over backwards to help them, and never regret the effort regardless of the outcome.

But if someone isn't trying to change themselves to end a bad behavior or situation, I don't waste any time or energy trying to convince them they should change. I've got a better, much more productive thing to do with my time - working to improve myself and my situation. So I move on and work on me.

Alan, put this crazy woman behind you. Forget about the money. Spend some time assessing the part of your character that made you decide at every point to keep helping or enabling her, and think about how that same character flaw could affect you in the future.

Isn't it time you moved on and worked on you?

[gothicusmaximus]

There you have it, folks. WOMEN ARE BIOLOGICALLY PROGRAMMED TO REWARD CRUELTY, EVIL, AND DOMINATION.

Seriously though, the lessons of my considerable experience with the opposite sex can be distilled into a single axiom: "hit it and quit it."
As far as the vast majority of women is concerned, getting actually 'involved' is like giving Twilight a few chapters to improve-- needlessly generous and ultimately infuriating.

[ape descendant]

gothicus, its awfully cute how you try to prove some non-existent rule with one of the outliers.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by ape descendant

gothicus, its awfully cute how you try to prove some non-existent rule with one of the outliers.

What are you talking about?