Eavesdroppers ne'er hear well...

spookypurple · 06-15-2006, 04:55 PM

I fancied a silly thread.

Overheard anything that made you chuckle?

I heard this at the railway station on a day when there was a bus replacement service. About 100 people were queued up waiting for the bus. Two guys were walking behind me.

A: Blimey, what they all doin'?
B: waiting for the bus, ain't they. 'S no train.
A: So where they all going from?
B: ...Here.

Or two girls in Debenhams...

C: Oooh, you'd look great in this. Hmmm. Cashmere...
D: I can't wear cashmere. I'm allergic.
C: Darling, nice girls aren't allergic to cashmere.

I don't know if there's already a thread like this, but I reckon we could all do with a bit of a giggle. Or something...

disorder · 06-15-2006, 09:27 PM

This wasn't something I overheard, as such, but a conversation in which I didn't quite hear what my friend said...

Natasha:Oh, I've got Brazilian Jujutsu tonight.
Me: What?! You're getting a brazillian by pixies?!
Natasha: You suck.

Heh heh heh

TwistedKitsune · 06-15-2006, 11:42 PM

Ah, if I take this in the hearing things incorrectly route then I've got one off the top of my head.

Sage: I mean come on, he's practically got niceness dripping out of his ears, how could you not like him?

Me: Stripping his steers!?!?!!!

spookypurple · 06-16-2006, 01:17 AM

Misheard, overheard. It's all good.

Bring on the silliness!

Lady Victoria Pareesis · 06-16-2006, 06:15 AM

I heard this while waiting on stairs to go out of a nightclub

A: Hey! You're spilling your beer on me!
B *very drunk* : Oh? really? You can tell?
A: Yeah, my shirt is wet now! I CAN tell that!
B: Man, you know, you should be kind of... psychologist or... stuff.

C: Ouch, I'm dizzy... Wait for me, I have to remember what is gravity...
D: 'Kay. M'waiting here.
C: What did I drink?
D: Dunno.
C: I feel like shit. I think, I'm gonna be sick.
D: Told'yah the sandwich was a bad idea. Salmon in a sandwich is unnatural. Evil stuff. Never eat them.

spookypurple · 06-17-2006, 10:41 AM

This is excellent stuff! Yay!

*giggling*

TwistedKitsune · 06-18-2006, 05:06 PM

“Omg! You’re the one who keeps saying stuff like that! I’ll say, ‘Hey how are you doing?’ and you’ll be like, ‘WHAT? MY SISTER KILLED MY MOM?’ or I’ll say, ‘Hello, Laura’ and you’ll be like, ‘MY SISTER KILLED YOUR AUNT???’ or I’ll be like, ‘John’s hot’ and you’ll say, ‘MY SISTER KILLED YOUR CAT???’” -A chick on the bus talking loudly to another chick on the bus, whom I am assuming was named Laura.

Sanctus Dei · 06-18-2006, 10:11 PM

Okay.. beautiful thread Spooks...

So I'm at work and this bitch walks in with a fella, give the register guy a hard time then sits down to wait for her food... I walked the dining room to clean tables and noticed her yelling at this poor fella. Then I over heard this:

Female: How could you do that to someone??

And as I passed by the second time:

Male: So I'm thinking... I should really go in, they said it would take a few months to finish the treatment.

Female: I suppose I should stop sleeping around.

I almost choked. Bad karma bit her in the ass I guess?

Godslayer Jillian · 06-18-2006, 11:21 PM

So, I didn't mishear anything of this; it was just genuinely funny.
First, a little background: being a Christian school, mine promotes abstinence. After a monologue about abstinence at Chapel, they passed around some pamphlets speaking about abstinence with nothing but the capitalized word VIRGINITY in front.
It became kind of a small trend to paste these pamphlets to our lockers if people were still virgins.

So, anyway, I was walking down the hallway with some friends, and one of the girls noticed her VIRGINITY wasn't in her locker anymore. So, here's the conversation:
Girl- Mario! You took my VIRGINITY, didn't you?
Mario- *smirks*
Girl- Mario! Give me my VIRGINITY back!
Mario- I can't do that.
Girl- Mario! I want my VIRGINITY!

Lady Victoria Pareesis · 06-19-2006, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

Girl- Mario! I want my VIRGINITY!

, poor girl !

I went to a nightclub saturday, and I was pretty drunk, but I still tried to have conversations with people wich gave a lots of things like this:

Guy: I'm from South Africa.
Me: Where in Africa?
Guy: You've never heard of that country before?
Me: You know, Africa is a very big continent, if you don't tell me the name, I won't guess.

It took five minutes to understand what each other was taking about...

spookypurple · 06-24-2006, 03:04 AM

"Well, I went on corrugated him for doing so well."

- two women discussing their children's exams.

I think...!

Corpsey · 06-26-2006, 11:45 PM

I heard this at the bus stop last week.

Boy A: "So, how was your exam?"
Girl A: "Fuckin killer, there was this examiner bitch that just wouldn't stop looking at me, and everytime I looked back at her she'd come over and hover behind me, annoying the crap out of me. Plus, there were some examiners that were talking up front".
Guy B:"I know! They were so fucking annoying! I mean, i felt like walking up to them, and telling them 'Oh, i think i read in the exam guide that during the exam there would be strictly NO TALKING!'"
Boy A:"Blah blah blah..........."(I can't remember what they went on about here, it was rather boring)
Girl B: "I got a present waiting for me back home on my bed"
Girl A: "Ok, who from?"
Guy B: "I hope it wasn't an animal present"
Girl A: "What, you mean like a puppy or a kitten?"
Guy A: "Who would want something like that, at our age? We don't want any extra responsibility!"
Guy B: "No, i mean like a cat shit, or something worse"
Guy A: " Oh"
Girl A&B: "EW! That would be disgusting"
Guy A: "Not nearly as disgusting as the job afterwards"
Guy B: "Yeah, because then you've got to go find the cat and tenderise it"
Guy A: "I meant having to clean up the mess"

************************************************** ******

The rest was too graphic and detailed to continue, i couldn't exactly remember it, except that they were going to tenderise the cat.