Sometimes its hard

Unimatrix 00 · 04-08-2009, 04:47 PM

I know you probably all think of me as some outrageous bitch and possibly a psycho (I'm not). But I have to tell you that I'm really not as hard as I can come across. I feel pain too. For the past few months now its just been hard. Its hard for me to get out of bed in the morning, to greet a new day. Its hard to just smile. i just feel that no matter what I do, what does it amount to? I'm destined to just end up a quasi-failure. I seem to be failing in school, and as a friend and daughter. And as for my relationships with people, well I just drive everyone away in the end. Maybe people would just be better off without me.

I want to reach out, but who to? and for what? There was, and still is a lot of shit in my life at the moment, but I don't feel I deserve to feel this way about myself, which just makes me feel worse. Bottom line, I am really, really depressed and don't know what to do. Maybe next time I visit my psych I'll ask him to prescribe me some anti-depressants. I need the quick fix, I don't want to, or feel I have to, work this shit out.

PortraitOfSanity · 04-08-2009, 04:49 PM

Your post started out with a completely obvious fact with no relevance to the rest of your post, and went downhill from there.

Unimatrix 00 · 04-08-2009, 04:51 PM

Just go the fuck away right now. I'm not able for the likes of you ATM.

Duane · 04-08-2009, 04:51 PM

Fuck you, asshole!

Solumina · 04-08-2009, 04:58 PM

Sorry but there is no quick fix for depression...well you could flood your mind with serotonin or dopamine but at best that will be extremely temporary and can only be achieved through the use of very dangerous drugs. Pills really only work as therapy aides (they basically give you the strength and energy to get through the therapy) and if you take them with out any therapy then once you go off them you are pretty much guaranteed to be right back to where you were when you started taking them. The only way to fix depression is by forming new, more efficient neural networks which is something that takes time, patience, and in many cases the help of a good psychologist.

maggot · 04-08-2009, 05:19 PM

Duane, shut the fuck up!!!!!!

HumanePain · 04-08-2009, 05:23 PM

Magz it is so cool to have you back. Not because you told Duane to fuck off (he be my buddy!) but you tell everyone to fuck off! Lulz.
But you haven't told me to fuck off yet, you discriminating against me? I demand fairness now!

maggot · 04-08-2009, 05:31 PM

HP, shut the fuck up!!!!!!!

Go read becky's intro :P

Beneath the Shadows · 04-08-2009, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unimatrix 00

I know you probably all think of me as some outrageous bitch and possibly a psycho (I'm not).

Mua-heh. I wouldn't call you outrageous. Or psycho. But I will say that you're not the straightest nail in the coffin.

Quote:

But I have to tell you that I'm really not as hard as I can come across.

No one thinks you're "hard."

Quote:

I feel pain too.

Urine will do that to a person.

Quote:

For the past few months now its just been hard. Its hard for me to get out of bed in the morning, to greet a new day. Its hard to just smile. i just feel that no matter what I do, what does it amount to? I'm destined to just end up a quasi-failure. I seem to be failing in school, and as a friend and daughter. And as for my relationships with people, well I just drive everyone away in the end. Maybe people would just be better off without me.

Pussy.

Quote:

I want to reach out, but who to? and for what? There was, and still is a lot of shit in my life at the moment, but I don't feel I deserve to feel this way about myself, which just makes me feel worse. Bottom line, I am really, really depressed and don't know what to do. Maybe next time I visit my psych I'll ask him to prescribe me some anti-depressants. I need the quick fix, I don't want to, or feel I have to, work this shit out.

Coward. If you can't force yourself to at least make the attempt to succeed no matter what adversity you face, you don't deserve the succeed.

[/dickhead mode]

Learing Cordelia · 04-08-2009, 07:03 PM

I'm sorry that you are currently depressed and that is good of you to go to your psychiatrist. Maybe you should discuss why you are in fact depressed and work through it rather than just find a 'quick fix' that won't last for very long.

And secondly.. looking at the general responses you are getting, are you sure this is the right place for you to get support? Won't all of these negative comments only provoke you into a greater depression or loathing state?

Mealla · 04-08-2009, 07:12 PM

As long as you are still alive, you have the potential to succeed, but attention-whoring on the net isn't a likely solution to your problems.

Pyre · 04-08-2009, 07:48 PM

Why do you complain of your problems on a site you clearly acknowledge to be comprised of people that think poorly of you? If you're looking for sympathy, try starting anew elsewhere. Very few here will be willing to listen to your sorrows.

Corpsey · 04-08-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Uni 00

Sometimes its hard

Sometime's I'm hard.

Occasionaly the phenomenon of being flaccid occurs, frequently during the winter months.

Mr E Nigma · 04-08-2009, 08:44 PM

Yeah if you don't want people to treat you badly... don't maintain connections to those who actually do treat you that way.. at least in your eyes. Make new connections, meet new people and treat them how you'd like to be treated.. (The... I wouldn't just piss on anyone, not everyone's into that)..

I think you get what I mean though... If you're nice and enjoyable to be around towards someone else, maybe they'll be the same to you.

Opteron_Man · 04-09-2009, 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unimatrix 00

I need the quick fix, I don't want to, or feel I have to, work this shit out.

Why even make this thread if you are not interested in putting the elbow grease into making yourself better? If you don't even want to try, then you don't deserve the fruits of success. There is no magic bullet. Depression is a nasty beast. It will take time, and perhaps therapy. But you have to at least try Uni.

Oh fuck it! I think I am wasting my time and energy on this. Do what you like!

Alarica · 04-09-2009, 02:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corpsey

Sometime's I'm hard.

Occasionaly the phenomenon of being flaccid occurs, frequently during the winter months.

Haha omg this reminded me of a dream I had last night. Not of you, but of a penis, and winter and there was so much snow! I think it was my best dream in weeks.

viscus · 04-09-2009, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Corpsey

Occasionaly the phenomenon of being flaccid occurs, frequently during the winter months.

Only occasionally? You might want to get that looked at, you wouldn't want to get blood clots followed by gangrene down there.

Tam Li Hua · 04-09-2009, 08:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

Sorry but there is no quick fix for depression...well you could flood your mind with serotonin or dopamine but at best that will be extremely temporary and can only be achieved through the use of very dangerous drugs. Pills really only work as therapy aides (they basically give you the strength and energy to get through the therapy) and if you take them with out any therapy then once you go off them you are pretty much guaranteed to be right back to where you were when you started taking them. The only way to fix depression is by forming new, more efficient neural networks which is something that takes time, patience, and in many cases the help of a good psychologist.

QFT. mssg2short.

Drake Dun · 04-09-2009, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unimatrix 00

Its hard to just smile. i just feel that no matter what I do, what does it amount to? I'm destined to just end up a quasi-failure. I seem to be failing in school, and as a friend and daughter. And as for my relationships with people, well I just drive everyone away in the end. Maybe people would just be better off without me.

Maybe a good start would be to just relax and stop beating yourself up. People fuck up. I have some good fuckup stories from my life. You'll fuck up too. You can get into this vicious cycle where you're like, I HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT AND GET IT RIGHT, and that stress and panic makes you fuck up more. So instead just play some XBox or something. Or better yet take a trip out to the beach, ideally some place you can walk around alone, and realize exactly how small all those things are.

Good luck.

Serren · 04-09-2009, 11:01 AM

It maybe that anti depressants can help you, they help a lot of people, but giving them to young people is more 'risky' than for adults. I'm not sure quite how old you are. They may lift your mood to the extant you are more able to work on your problems.

However they are not really a quick fix, they take quite a while to actually work, and they do have side affects as well which can be unpleasant in the early stages.

I think it would be a good idea to talk to your psych and ask him what he thinks about going on them and whether or not they would benefit you. I also wonder what other types of therapy you are having.

I don't want to patronize you but a lot of young people your age have problems adjusting and its not that uncommon to get mental health problems. If you get appropriate treatment you may well find things get easier as you get older. One of the problems young people have is if they do have these sorts of problems such as depression is they don't have the same coping skills that older people have, and it hits them a lot harder.

In other words you may well find life a lot easier as you get older.

Unimatrix 00 · 04-10-2009, 08:06 AM

Thank you ... I'll talk to my psych. I just don't want him thinking I'm suicidal or something too. lol x

Stormtrooper of Death · 04-10-2009, 08:59 AM

I really don't see why we're beating her down all the time. She's asking for some help here and we're being dicks about it. By having divides in anything you cannot stand united. I don't know where I was going wiht htta but still. Can't we all just get along?

PortraitOfSanity · 04-10-2009, 09:22 AM

The problem is we've given all the advice we can give her, not being psychologists ourselves, and she still comes whining about the same shit over and over again.

Learing Cordelia · 04-10-2009, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unimatrix 00

Thank you ... I'll talk to my psych. I just don't want him thinking I'm suicidal or something too. lol x

If you do get suicidal thoughts. Consult them with your doctor. Can't stress that enough.
Trust me on that, I've had to pull too many guns or knives away from people.

Solumina · 04-10-2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Unimatrix 00

Thank you ... I'll talk to my psych. I just don't want him thinking I'm suicidal or something too. lol x

If you mention that you are depressed they are going to ask if you have had suicidal thoughts, be honest, if you are suicidal they need to know so that they can treat you accordingly as it is something that is diagnostically significant, if you say that you aren't then they have no reason to think otherwise.