Question of etiquette

Elystan · 09-12-2011, 03:41 PM

This is pretty inane but here goes:

So there's a concert I want to go to. There's a girl I want to go with. I've put forward the idea to her but she's been sort of non-commital about the whole thing, citing financial contingency.

Question is, do I pay for her ticket, and if so how do I break the idea to her? If I turn round and say "oh hey I actually got two tickets, want one?" it'll be fairly obvious that I bought the second one for her (it would be obvious to me anyway) and that's a whole 'burden of expectation' type thing whereby I have given her a social obligation to come with me without first having asked her permission.

But then if I do ask her permission to buy her the ticket that seems a little, I don't know, desperate? Needy?

I mean I could take great pains to explain that I don't really care about the price of the ticket, if she doesn't want it I'll either give it to someone else or sell it to one of the vendors you always get outside, but then that would dispel anything positive she might take from the fact that I bought her the ticket.

Background info: girl I met at a party years and years ago, took a shine to her but barely said a word, added her on facebook anyway. About 6 months ago struck up conversation on the internet, talked semi-regularly and mutually divulged sensitive information about our private lives. Haven't seen her in person since the initial meeting which hardly even counts.

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 04:01 PM

I'm meaner to trolls when I drink.

Kasdeja · 09-12-2011, 04:02 PM

That's not inane, sweetie... Very good question, though.

If you haven't seen her but once, and are only Facebook friends, then I think you should not even worry about it. Sounds like she's waffling, and it may be more fun to go with a good friend instead. You may have a better time!

Just my two copper. Oh, and just ignore the forum drunk... she's also a waste of time.

Elystan · 09-12-2011, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grausamkeit

I'm meaner to trolls when I drink.

I get uneasy when nobody takes a shot (double entendre?), please, flame away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasdeja

That's not inane, sweetie... Very good question, though.

If you haven't seen her but once, and are only Facebook friends, then I think you should not even worry about it. Sounds like she's waffling, and it may be more fun to go with a good friend instead. You may have a better time!

Just my two copper. Oh, and just ignore the forum drunk... she's also a waste of time.

Hard to come by real sisters fans ("ooh I like temple of love" does NOT get you a ticket).

Honestly I fancy this girl a bit, which doesn't mean that I have an entitlement complex or anything but I don't believe in confessions of feelings over the internet so I'm not going to spell that out to her just yet. Which would usually mean I was being cowardly and duplicitous but like I say, internet.

So yeah those are the reasons I'd rather go with her than anyone else.

Kasdeja · 09-12-2011, 04:21 PM

Leik omg dis corrosion rulez!!1!!

*twitch*

I understand... I like the Sisters, but not enough to go see them, so I can now see why you're in a quandry. I guess it's the part where she says she doesn't have the funds... sounds to me like she wants you to buy her a ticket out of pity. That doesn't sound fair to me, but again, that's just my opinion.

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasdeja

Oh, and just ignore the forum drunk... she's also a waste of time.

Passive-aggressive cunts are so entertaining!

Kasdeja · 09-12-2011, 04:23 PM

Just spouting the truth, BOY...

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasdeja

Just spouting the truth, BOY...

What 'truth' is that? Calling me the 'forum drunk' is no more true than if I were to call you a whore for having sex a few times a year.

Don't make me spank your ass with my intellect, son! Even drunk I can run circles around you.

Kasdeja · 09-12-2011, 04:30 PM

Pfft... Just trying to give the kid some advice. No room for your idiocy unless you actually have something to contribute to this thread.

Elystan · 09-12-2011, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasdeja

Leik omg dis corrosion rulez!!1!!

*twitch*

I understand... I like the Sisters, but not enough to go see them, so I can now see why you're in a quandry. I guess it's the part where she says she doesn't have the funds... sounds to me like she wants you to buy her a ticket out of pity. That doesn't sound fair to me, but again, that's just my opinion.

I think it's more a matter of her being hesitant to commit to the idea, coupled with the fact that she actually doesn't have a lot of money (she just graduated with a degree in illustration, which is great but not likely to make big bucks, and currently works in a cafe for not much more than unemployment benefit).

The transition from internet buddies to IRL friends is often a tricky one. I wouldn't blame her for being hesitant.

I guess I could get the tickets now, not tell her, try and get her to meet with me IRL and then let drop that I have a spare.

IDK I think I should get some sleep.

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasdeja

Pfft... Just trying to give the kid some advice. No room for your idiocy unless you actually have something to contribute to this thread.

Yes, I know. You have only room for you own gigantic amount of idiocy.

My advice is that people who worship Charles Manson(or other racist people) shouldn't be giving advice to reasonable individuals. They damn sure shouldn't attempt to flame people who would be their intellectual superiors with a brain injury.

Ely, I'm not flaming you, dude. You know what to do. None of us have the answers you seek.

Elystan · 09-12-2011, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grausamkeit

Ely, I'm not flaming you, dude. You know what to do. None of us have the answers you seek.

Yes but I like to talk and the forum is called whining so I thought I could get away with it.

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 04:38 PM

If what you seek you find not within, you will never find it without.

I'm a big believer in self-reliance and people's own ability to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Kasdeja · 09-12-2011, 04:44 PM

Seems like you're more interested in Charles Manson than I am, Grausy... your repeated drivel about him is furthering your inability to let something go and leave it back at the thread where it started.

But you're probably too hammered to understand.

Ely, I think you should sleep on it... when is the concert?

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kasdeja

Seems like you're more interested in Charles Manson than I am, Grausy... your repeated drivel about him is furthering your inability to let something go and leave it back at the thread where it started.

But you're probably too hammered to understand.

You have no idea of my clarity when I am tipsy, drunk, or hammered. Do not attempt to win an argument by assuming that I am not up to handling someone of your base level. You started shit with me in this thread and it will not be over until I am satisfied(or you walk away crying).

You were the one who stated your love for him(Manson) in your intro and I don't want people to forget what an intellectual nitwit they are dealing with when they talk to you. If you are shamed by it, then foreswear your love and devotion to him.

My understanding is crystal clear. Ely just needs to look inside himself for the answer he seeks. There is no one on this forum that could possibly know him well enough to decide what to do for him. It does not surprise me that you think yourself superior enough to lead him in the right direction, though.

So suck my dick, you racist bitch.

Kasdeja · 09-12-2011, 05:10 PM

*snerk*

You cannot win.

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 05:11 PM

Against your imaginary 'chaos magick'? I already have.

I pwn your lame ass ten ways to Sunday.

Ben Lahnger · 09-12-2011, 07:29 PM

Oh no, another etiquette thread! Crap! I hope this one doesn't devolve into a flame war like the others all did.

*OOPS!* Too late!

Elystan, you're over-thinking this, dude. It wasn't worth the time it took to type all that. Just make a decision, and learn from the results.

If I was interested in her, I'd buy the tickets, man. I'd just do it. Then I'd tell her I've got these tickets and want to ask her to go with me.

Don't try to act all coy like you just happen to have an extra ticket ... sound like you meant to buy the tickets and you're asking her out.

If she says no, that's what she was gonna say anyway.

Saya · 09-12-2011, 07:52 PM

Have you tried asking Evil Girlfriend? She might know what to do.

Ben Lahnger · 09-12-2011, 08:00 PM

Shhhhh! This is one of the cool chicks he's trying to get the interest of so he can get enough regular nookie to dump the evil girlfriend.

Versus · 09-12-2011, 11:12 PM

Jesus, Saya. You just ruined this for me. It's been a while since I've busted any balls.

Spooky Spencer · 09-12-2011, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elystan

But then if I do ask her permission to buy her the ticket that seems a little, I don't know, desperate? Needy?

Do you have the money to buy the extra ticket? Then buy it and ask her.

Is this what happens when you get older? Over thinking everything?

Hungry? Eat. Tired? Sleep. Smitten? Ask. All she can do is say no and then you can get on with your life.

Grau, if I ever begin a post in here that starts out, "I want this girl to really like me but I don't know if I should (whatever)," please remind me to stop acting like Elystan used to before he found his balls.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 02:33 AM

Buy the ticket, tell her you'd really like to go with her. That is all. If she says no, find someone else to go with and chalk it up to experience. Seems to me that you'll regret not doing it and at least if you do it, whatever the outcome, you'll have a better idea of how things stand between you two.

Elystan · 09-13-2011, 02:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

Have you tried asking Evil Girlfriend? She might know what to do.

Of course not, duh, this is my secret weapon. This girl seems like she could be as much as 40% as manipulative, it's my only chance of escape.

Elystan · 09-13-2011, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spooky Spencer

Grau, if I ever begin a post in here that starts out, "I want this girl to really like me but I don't know if I should (whatever)," please remind me to stop acting like Elystan used to before he found his balls.

You're a smart 11 year old.

Trust me though if I had balls I'd have found them by now.