Rant Thread II - Page 256

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissCheyenne

One fucking day a week. On goddamn day a week is all the 'help' I'm getting from my brothers and sisters. Not even seperate days, oh no. They all descend on the house in a fucking pack and sit around drinking tea and smoking. They don't do any of the practical stuff, you know, emptying the comode, giving mum a bed bath, taking her meals to her, oh god, none of that stuff. They sit and talk to her which is fair enough but I need some practical fucking help.

Also, thanks everyone, I can't remember if I said thanks before, I've been busy and I haven't had a lot of time for anything really.

Don't worry about thanking us, hun. You take care of you and rant to us because we will be here for you.

Saya · 09-12-2011, 02:14 PM

MissC, your siblings are assholes and if I were you I'd put them in their places. That's just cruel.

I'd lend a hand if I could! *hugs*

Grausamkeit · 09-12-2011, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mir

Wachu doin' situps for? If I remember correctly, you need mo' junk in yo trunk!

Mir....maid or man?

CarrionCorpse · 09-12-2011, 08:14 PM

I miss my dog so fucking much it hurts.
The last few days have been hell and I've wanted to do nothing at all. It's literally making me sick.

I got absolutely hammered over the weekend at my dad's and sat where he was buried and just cried.
I cried until I couldn't fucking breath and my boyfriend had to pull me off the ground.
The few friends I had over for my 'birthday party' (my dad INSISTED on me having the party THIS weekend...) didn't know what to do even. They just hugged me and told me how sorry they were...
If I could have, I would have slept on that dirt mound with him.

Kasdeja · 09-12-2011, 08:17 PM

I'm sorry, sweetie... I wish there was something I could say to make it better.

Apathy's_Child · 09-13-2011, 02:53 AM

Shit, MC... your siblings are horrible fucking bastards. If guilting the shit out of them reaches no part of them, I really don't know what to suggest. Don't let up - remind that pretty soon, they will have to live with their actions now for the rest of their lives, with no chance to take them back.

I know it doesn't help YOU any, but your mom is lucky to have such a kickass daughter. Like Saya, I wish I could come over and lend a hand, but I can't exactly swing by after work I'll settle for the most ursine uber-hug that can be expressed in pixels. I won't tell you to stay tough because, as your care of your mom so far proves, you've already got that covered. Take care of yourself.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 03:02 AM

I'll take any hugs I can get at the minute, real ones or pixel based. I've been guilting hard but it just doesn't seem to get through, they just keep countering by saying they have to get on with their own lives/look after their own families and that I should respect that need.

Apathy's_Child · 09-13-2011, 03:06 AM

Riiiight... 'cause it's not like you have a kid, or a job, or the basic human need for a couple of nights off of the emotionally draining and arduous task of full-time caring for a week - something THEY need to start respecting. There is no good reason for one person to be doing ALL the work in such a big family, and that's just a fucking FACT. I can't believe what raging dicks they're being about this. I would totally come choke them out for you if I were there.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 03:10 AM

Honestly? I'm used to them being raging dicks, it's just how they work. We've always been a somewhat dysfunctional family but I really thought this would be a time that everyone would pull together, you know? I get that they have jobs/families and that they also need to look after those but so do I and as much as I don't mind caring for Mum, it's physically exhausting and emotionally, it's devastating.

Apathy's_Child · 09-13-2011, 03:19 AM

They should be fucking ashamed of themselves. What about home help? Is there any way you could get some time to yourself that way? I mean, it's not just about the job you're doing - you're also dealing with losing your mom, and could probably use some alone-time with that. Jesus Christ I'm sorry they're leaving everything to you like this. It's a shitty gig and you shouldn't be the only one dealing with the consequences.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 03:23 AM

The hospital is trying to arrange some home help for us now. Anything they can give us will be better than nothing, even if it's just a few hours a week. I feel really shitty sitting here whining about it all. I should be stronger than this shouldn't I.

Apathy's_Child · 09-13-2011, 03:33 AM

No way. Caring for someone is hard - I've never had to do it myself, but I watched my girlfriend almost burn out when her mom had cancer. She lost almost ten pounds (and she was already small, so that was a lot of weight on her) and was pretty much existing in a fugue state by the end. It wasn't just the exhaustion of running her ass of between work, home and her life with me (which pretty much stopped for 4 months) - it was her own fear for her mom, which she never got to indulge because she was also dealing with her mom's terror of what was happening to her. Strong has nothing to do with it. I don't care if you have the soul of a ninja and look like this - that shit will wear you out if you don't have someone to share the load with. I hope the hospital manages to fix you something up. Keep on their asses abuot it.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 03:38 AM

I just feel like me whining is a self indulgence that I really don't deserve you know?

Solumina · 09-13-2011, 05:10 AM

You DO deserve the little luxury of letting off steam, otherwise how would stay sane?

For fucks sake my brother is the most self centered person I have ever met, he can be a righteous asshole but most of it is that he just can’t see anything from anyone’s perspective and even he pitched in and helped, he learned how to scrub toilets and fold laundry (two things that he had managed to go his whole life without doing) because even his egocentric self could see that I was getting worn out cooking and cleaning while our mom was getting worn out taking care of Dad and working enough hours to keep her benefits. It was just folding the laundry one day a week (if I did it on week days I was on my own and he never did really get the concept of sorting so I did all of that) and cleaning the bathrooms was kind of a once in a while thing but it still made a world of difference, it meant that it wasn’t all on my shoulders.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 05:15 AM

I just kinda feel like I should just......man up and quit whining. Whining isn't going to get anything done but honestly, I feel really alone. I know my step dad has to work, after all, bills won't pay themselves but I could just do with some more help from my siblings. Even if it's only a couple of hours a week, even that would help a bit.

Solumina · 09-13-2011, 05:24 AM

Of course you feel alone, your siblings are being little pricks.

Solumina · 09-13-2011, 05:28 AM

I'm sorry, that wasn't very helpful, I'm just really angry at them as all they seem to care about is doing the bare minimum to ease their consciences and/or stay in your mum's will.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 05:32 AM

What's really sad is the fact that I'm not even angry at them really. I understand that they don't want to do it because it's hard, I get it, I really do but they don't seem to understand that it's just as hard, if not harder for me because I'm the one living with it every single day.

Solumina · 09-13-2011, 05:35 AM

You are far too kind and sweet of a person to have siblings like that.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 05:38 AM

I have found that kindness and sweetness are excellent qualities to have but they are vastly under appreciated by other people. Guess it's just the way of the world.

Solumina · 09-13-2011, 05:40 AM

I wholeheartedly agree.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 05:47 AM

I guess there are some things you just can't change no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. You certainly can't fully change things for another person, their perceptions are so different to your own that trying to change them is like trying to turn back the tide. All you can do is hope that people change and grow as you encourage them

Solumina · 09-13-2011, 05:55 AM

That's also true, you can no more change a person than I can change the fact that I can't pop over there with a big ol' chicken potpie and a hug, no matter how much I wish I could.

MissCheyenne · 09-13-2011, 06:02 AM

Sometimes, just sometimes, it really is the thought that counts rather than actual action.

Solumina · 09-13-2011, 06:15 AM

Well I sure as hell have been thinking of you lately and I know I'm a bit far away to be of much practical use but seriously, if there is anything I can do to help please let me know, no one should have to go through something like this on their own.