sadness seemed desirable

[allyssa]

deception...

within the water.. euphoria, absence of
sins reflected in an
ocean mirror
mist obscures the otherworld where
age turns into tide
immortality retained
only by the moon.. a shard .. of silver cutting
the cull of wolves
bell heather is swaying
they sink below the surface of the tide
sensuality fills the holes
of absence.. I will be the scarab..
the mind of a skinned dragon



what lies behind the locked door?
frost on her lips
curiosity becoming vengence

she places the ancient key in the door

fire spilling
like water, he has drowned
a child looking for agate in the sand

the waves are rippling across the stones
the loon dives
black skin fading

in this lake the bones are brittle

beneath the snow

water spilling into a cold pool









cold night at dawn






the cold night air is a poison keeping the secrets of the apothacary

the infants drowning in black oil become black bird
impassive darkness reveals the luminary
green amber, swallowed for immortality
the denial of death for sanity gripping branches of a hollowed oak
darkness leaks into my eyes a gateway into my realm of twisted silver and blue glass
gathered on winters shore








You are dying

From your own proficiency
Tarnished angel

On broken glass
Cut with water
Her eyes
Distinct

Then indistinct
Leading you downward
Endless staircases
Dust upon eyelashes
Descent
And
Darkness




Within the waters undulation
Human figures
Emerge, imperfect

Mourning breath to
The stained sky
In the final
Agony of
Dissolution








Opaque black water
Frozen on rock


Descending the deafening current
Into unstable darkness

Clear onyx
Lulled by the tide

My tears do not differentiate
Winters ice
Hangs like glass
Muted and incomplete





jade


crumbling ash
of skin
liminal wind
from the ocean

on the jagged rocks
carving the moon in the stone
in the dark light of jade

sinks below the surface veil
of moon wavering to the sound of wind

[allyssa]

these are some poems I am trying to have published with black moss books,
I have done extensive searches but I thought I would ask: Does anyone know of a gothic or dark arts publisher that I may have overlooked???

[JCC]

Don't get these published, even if it is somehow possible that someone offers it.

[Ben Lahnger]

I think you could consider self-publishing ... because I see you having a target market of you, your friends and your family. These may seem like artistic musings to you, but they don't really rise to the level of publishable poetry.

If some editor somewhere disagrees with that opinion, more power to you.

[Angelic Dissonance]

While I do doubt their publishability.....

I find these to appeal to a very obscure audience, which partly consists of Me.
This is the most heartfelt, expressive piece I have read in a long time. They don't need to make all the sense in the world.... because I put less stock in rationality(at least, when it comes to art) than expression. These translate to pure emotion--and since when does that make perfect logical sense?

[allyssa]

I agree, poetry is a lust of a minority and the sub-genres of poetry divide that minority up as well...if you muse at the early work of plath and ezra pound they are lacking in quality...I think with age my voice will deepen or just grow silent.... I like my poetry because it is the experience behind the words that I desire....

[allyssa]

now that I reread them in an objective way, I agree that they are unpublishable but might have potential..to become something beautiful

[Angelic Dissonance]

Darker red, easier on older eyes.......

I think they ARE beautiful. Potential depends on passion--keep on singing, and though your words don't reach many, they'll captivate some. Excercise, and those words will strengthen. Read, and so shall you write. I beleive in you, for no good reason--and nobody can prove that I do... because I'm just a picture, with the words 'Angelic Dissonance' above it in here.....

So don't trust me. I may be a pedophile. But, trust yourself. You only go as far as your muse carries you.

[Apathy's_Child]

Actually, trusting yourself can be a really bad idea, and lead to arrogant refusal to correct tendencies toward lameness. You're far better off trusting the opinions and suggestions of people who are better than you.

[allyssa]

I have decided to send the poems to a publisher, just so I can receive a rejection letter, that might have insight into the poetry. I have been composing
spoken word albums that have the poems read in a whispery voice over top of some of my violin compositions.

[Angelic Dissonance]

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Actually, trusting yourself can be a really bad idea, and lead to arrogant refusal to correct tendencies toward lameness. You're far better off trusting the opinions and suggestions of people who are better than you.

^^^^^ Only if you're a thick-head. A healthy amount of self-trust is crucial--otherwise you'll never have the gumption to even try. Or, you may wind up forsaking your true medium for a position on somebody's hand--as a sock-puppet.

Of course, if you can't take pointers at all, that's another thing entirely. What Apathy's_Child should have said was,

"....Don't become an arrogant, self-aborbed loser, and wind up never taking advice from the more experienced. You'll do better listening to others than yourself--assuming you have no knowledge or experience in the field whatsoever."

Which harkening back to what I said earlier, just read lots of poetry. The more books you read, the better your vocabulary and handle on grammer+usage skills. They didn't build the Sistine Chapel without the technical know-how, now did they?

[allyssa]

I prefer medieval and chinese history texts to reading poetry or nietzche, sartre and tolstoy...but i do obsessively like plath because she is dark without gothic or romantic cliches (which I tend to fall into sometimes).
do you have any poets that you suggest I read?

[TheFeatheredÆtheling]

Allyssa, I love to see others writing poetry. However, may I give you some constructive criticism? I think that the biggest weakness of your poems is that they're too cryptic. In spite of some interesting vocabulary and concepts, your message is too vague (or complicated). In my humble opinion, poetry is meaningless if it has no point or if the point is too hard to understand. Poetry is not the destination, it is the vehicle that leads to the destination. Remember this.

I think that the single, most important thing that you could do as a poet right now is to work on making your message clear. A very useful way to do this is to focus on only one point per poem to start with. You can utilize as much elegant language as you like, but don't use anything that is unnecessary or interferes with the main message. Keep your poetry as "pure" as possible.

Have a look at my poem entitled "The Moon" on the front page of the Literature section to see an example of a poem that utilizes descriptive, romantic language to make a very simple point. My poem's message should be clear to almost any reader: 'one can be lonely in spite of great beauty, wealth, and glory'. Next time you write a poem, ask yourself where your inspiration is coming from and what it is that you're trying to say; establish your message early on and build it around that message without deviation. Thanks for posting your poems; I hope that you'll keep writing.

[allyssa]

I really enjoyed your poem the moon...it is beautiful and I loved the colors and luminosity and it had a beautiful mood...I am a visual artist that is why my poems become misty. I am surprised you find them cryptic but, I write from very dark places emotionally. I feel though, that vagueness can leave it open for interpretation and that their is a subtle text within the images. I guess they are secretive because I do not want to literally speak about the experiences behind them...thank you so much for taking the time to write a critique.