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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
11-04-2010, 04:48 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,932
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Stupidest shit you have ever heard.
Today, a week ago, five days ago this Tuesday, share some of your experiences with the most hilariously ridiculous, ignorant, stupid, comically bigoted, or ironic shit you have ever heard someone say at you or around you.
Catch quotes don't count.
I'll start with one answer a student told a political science professor:
Professor - so after the dollar went down where do you think OPEC started investing?
Student - .... terrorist organizations?
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
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real classy
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11-04-2010, 04:52 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 634
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OMG what an awsome thread!
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" The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear"
- H. P. Lovecraft
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11-04-2010, 04:58 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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I remember overhearing a pair of teenage girls that walked by me.
"How can I get 50% on the test if there are only 30 questions?!"
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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11-04-2010, 05:02 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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This was back in high school, but I'll never forget it. It was a conversation between two girls in my art class.
Girl #1: I always wanted to go to India! No, wait, France! Wait, isn't India in France?
Girl #2: No, I think its in Spain.
ETA: One of those girls won a Remembrance Day art contest and got to go to France. I thought my eyeballs would bleed when I found out. Good lord.
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11-04-2010, 05:25 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: ∞ ∞ //▲▲\\ ∞ ∞
Posts: 4,618
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I was at ulta beauty store, and I overheard two girls who were speaking way too loudly for they're own good...
Girl #1: He's so fine, and I can tell he wants to do me.
Girl #2: I bet he does
Girl #1: You and him fucked before, how was it?
Girl #2: He was great...you would have fun with him.
Random woman: IS IT NECESSARY THAT YOU SPEAK ABOUT THESE THINGS IN PUBLIC?
I cracked up so hard.
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11-04-2010, 05:33 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Oh. I thought of another.
Me: "So then the Mexicans decided to-"
Random idiot: "DON'T YOU MEAN "LATIN-AMERICAN?!"
Me: "No, you stupid cocksucker. I mean Mexicans from MEXICO."
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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11-04-2010, 05:54 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 2,015
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This isn't *necessarily* stupid - more wtf - depending on what these young women did about their random desires, but I was walking in the hall in high school, and some girls were walking the opposite direction, and one of them said, "I want to have a baby," and the other said, "Yeah. Me too."
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Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder where you're at.
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
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11-04-2010, 08:53 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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What the fuck, indeed.
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Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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11-05-2010, 12:59 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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"This won't hurt" - before someone does something that will hurt.
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"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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11-05-2010, 06:36 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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"Most people don't go to college anymore anyway."
-my daughter, when I confronted her about dropping out halfway through her freshman year to move to Las Vegas.
God knows I love her but sheesh, she had no clue what she was saying.
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11-05-2010, 07:43 AM
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#11
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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A girl in my class in high school asked a teacher if there was a way we could "prop up the sea to kill all the sharks and get the jewelry and gold and stuff."
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11-05-2010, 08:17 AM
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#12
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
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"I'm not racist, I just don't think a black man should coach a basketball team."
-Said by my racist college roommate, in regards to Tubby Smith, who was then a somewhat celebrated coach of the UK Wildcats.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
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11-05-2010, 09:11 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 4,036
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In my statistics class a girl asked the professor "is four lower than five?"
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"I've an idea. Why don't we play a little game. Let's pretend that we're human beings, and that we're actually alive. Just for a while. What do you say? Let's pretend we're human. Oh, brother, it's such a long time since I was with anyone who got enthusiastic about anything."
― Jack Osborne
add me on
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11-05-2010, 09:29 AM
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#14
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denmark, thou Viking capital!
Posts: 2,277
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Most of mine are in Danish and will lose it's point if translated I am afraid.
I do have one though:
My brother, his girlfriend and my mother were talking about Mother's Day and giving flowers.
So my brother thought he'd be funny, so without thinking what exactly he was saying, he turned to his girlfriend and said: "Good thing you're not my mother... .... DOH!"
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11-05-2010, 12:02 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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"Didn't Isaac Newton invent the light bulb?" -My old dorm roommate.
"...And thats why there's no black people in America anymore!" -conversation I walked in on at a bar.
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11-05-2010, 12:15 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: US
Posts: 1,530
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When I first moved back to the states... Some redneck in high school came up to me and asked "aren't you from that thar italy place, whar is that, isn't it close to israh-el?"
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In my nothing you meant everything to me.
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11-05-2010, 12:48 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,932
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I knew this thread was going to be fun. I cracked up with Saya's first one.
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
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real classy
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11-05-2010, 06:41 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,835
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A foster brother of mine was once asked if he was "full-blooded gay."
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11-05-2010, 07:40 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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"So do like ducks grow up to be geese?" Oh Kierra, you are a special child.
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Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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11-06-2010, 06:01 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
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A friend of mine once asked me WHO Pearl Harbor...and I once got a demeaning lecture from the biggest pseudo-intellectual/man baby JOKE I've ever met. A 20 year old little know it all try-hard who thought so much of himself even though he lived with his parents and his highest paying job was working at McDonalds' while having (as he claims) a 'genius level' I.Q.
This is Michael Agado everybody. Voted "MOST LIKELY TO RULE THE WORLD" simply because he knew how to keep an argument by playing Devil's advocate and lying to prove various points. We were actually friends at first as I looked up to him (me being a freshman and him a senior) as he I thought he was someone who'd finally understand me in the cesspool of swimming idiots known as high school. I was lost and alone and still facepalm myself today thinking about how stupid I was.
In the time I knew him he told me I shouldn't assume I have a high I.Q. as I don't know for sure what it is while he flaunted in how smart he was. Even taking a stab at some false security with his disclaimer "I don't usually tell people this but my I.Q. is 166..." when he was really just trying to call me stupid. And now this little elitist fuck is flipping burgers dreaming of becoming a rapper with that oh so glorious mind of his.
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11-06-2010, 06:20 AM
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#21
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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Argh, that is the worst kind of nerd snobbery!!!
One of the best things about getting out of high school and growing the hell up, is developing a better understanding of the idiocy of others and a development of confidence in one's self.
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******
Be Kind
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11-06-2010, 11:33 AM
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#22
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ape descendant
One of the best things about getting out of high school and growing the hell up, is developing a better understanding of the idiocy of others and a development of confidence in one's self.
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Quoted for truth.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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11-06-2010, 01:31 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ape descendant
Argh, that is the worst kind of nerd snobbery!!!
One of the best things about getting out of high school and growing the hell up, is developing a better understanding of the idiocy of others and a development of confidence in one's self.
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Oh and realising that all the kids you thought were cool, haven't done a whole lot of anything with their lives.
__________________
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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11-06-2010, 08:59 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Oh I remembered another one from high school, I think this was when we were discussing whether we wanted pizza or not.
Friend #1: I'm lactose intolerant! I can't eat cheese or eggs!
Friend #2: ...Eggs are not dairy.
Friend #1: Yes they are!
Friend #2: Where do eggs come from?
Friend #1: Pigs!
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11-06-2010, 09:18 PM
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#25
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 14
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Stupidest....
"Will that hurt when you stick it in me?"
Answer; "Yup", after I stuck him.
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