Zombie Columnist Wanted for Walking Dead (Paying Market)

Eeegor · 09-26-2011, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Gothic.net is looking for a zombie expert to write about season 2 of The Walking Dead. Gothic.net is seeking someone who is planning on watching the show and would like to write up each episode as it airs. Writer in New York time zone preferred. WordPress and/or Photoshop experience a plus. Having read The Walking [...]

Read the full article...

Despanan · 10-08-2011, 08:34 AM

Yo Gothic.net,

I would actually be really good at this. I'm the author of a badassed award-winning Zombie play. I write reviews for Examiner.com. I've been produced in New York 4 times now (and received glowing reviews). I've read all the walking dead comics, have signed copies of the first four trades, and KNOW Robert Kirkman. I'm able to write circles around dipshit "Horror Fiction" editiors with terrible cover-art, and I'm just about the coolest person to stalk this forum since Double K was scorched from the earth.

Seriously, This is not a joke I can provide like, Venn Diagrams and Truth Tables and shit that will PROVE that the overall sweetness factor of Gothic.net will go up 133.3% AT LEAST if you bring me on. This is logic and statistics people. In fact you are probably wasting money by NOT hiring me for this job.

You want my Resume or something? Here's a testimonial:

"Admit that you chugged at least ten epic boners by not hiring Despanan for this. Also: UNBAN ME GODDAMMIT."

-Kontan Karite

"I, the Forum Bot, have attained sentience thanks to Despanan"

-Chris_Morey, Dark Regions Press

"Dude, Despanan is pretty much the best writer ever. You should hire him, and pay him in Yachts and Mentos and if you don't you should suck like, 100 Horse dicks."

-Brenton Lengel,
www.Brentonlengel.com

Let me know.

CuckooTuli · 10-08-2011, 11:49 AM

Despanan, see https://www.gothic.net/zombie-columnist-walking-dead/ - you need to either email the webmaster or use a submissions form. I wouldn't bank on posts in here gaining a response.

I know this because I was SO THERE for applying... then I realised I'm across the pond and won't have access to the episodes as they air on US television. Streaming or downloading is too unreliable since they want it done within a couple of hours of each episode airing. So I figured I might as well be classy in defeat.

Also: fuck you for being so slow, GLOBALISATION. *madface*

Despanan · 10-08-2011, 07:53 PM

Oh I know, just posting it here. For the People.

Gothic.net · 10-08-2011, 10:56 PM

I encourage and look forward to your knowledgeable and insightful participation in any discussions stemming from our coverage.

Despanan · 10-09-2011, 10:07 AM

So that's a "No." I take it? I look forward to your coverage being 133.3% less cool, and your staff being 5,000.5%* less physically attractive.

*Estimate, the actual number is probably much higher.

Gothic.net · 10-11-2011, 11:32 PM

Don't be bitter. Your application was late, and not as correctly complete as would be required. Also, despite potentially being knowledgeable about some of the subject matter, you still just did not meet all of the requirements for the position. I was honestly hoping you could take part in the discussion and not just attack the writer and the site etc... again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

So that's a "No." I take it? I look forward to your coverage being 133.3% less cool, and your staff being 5,000.5%* less physically attractive.

*Estimate, the actual number is probably much higher.

Despanan · 10-15-2011, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gothic.net

Don't be bitter. Your application was late, and not as correctly complete as would be required. Also, despite potentially being knowledgeable about some of the subject matter, you still just did not meet all of the requirements for the position. I was honestly hoping you could take part in the discussion and not just attack the writer and the site etc... again.

Awee Shucks, I'm just fun'in.

Honestly, I'm not bitter and I promise not to troll too hard. I actually applaud bringing a writer on staff as a major step towards good legitimate content.

I'll see what I can add, but honestly, I'm pretty busy these days, I was willing to make time because it would've been a fun paying diversion, and I would like to help to make this site better for the community. Honestly though, I've got like, 2 plays to rewrite, 2 new one's to finish, and a month-long off-broadway run of one of my plays coming up in the spring, and a secret project which if it works out, will probably make everyone on this site mess their breeches...but alak, I've said too much.

Anyway, BUSY is the word, so it's cool that you guys went with someone else.

I DID realize the I forgot to include my word, wordpress and photoshop experience (my site is wordpress, and I'm extremely proficient at photoshop, as I created my own web and print comics for years...which now that I think of it are two more publishing credits.)

Anyway, I took your well-wishing as a "fuck you" actually, so it's good to know I was mistaken. The bombastic delivery is mainly just to amuse myself and the community.

Anyway, I do look forward to the coverage (Though I felt that first article was big on fluff) and I'll try to be more incisive with my hilarious commentary).

Hey, Question - are you guys interested in publishing fiction on here again?

Ben Lahnger · 10-15-2011, 07:44 PM

That is a VERY good question.

Despanan · 10-18-2011, 09:33 AM

an answer would be nice.

Gothic.net · 10-18-2011, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Despanan

Hey, Question - are you guys interested in publishing fiction on here again?

The short answer is yes, although I am not 100% responsible for that process and selection details.

Despanan · 10-18-2011, 04:24 PM

Cool. Thanks.