Reincarnation of the poetry thread

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Paper_Wings

So, any comments or constructive critisism?

Comments: Sweet, simple and yet sublime, I love it!

Constructive criticism: You intended:

"Raindrops were our lullaby"
for
"Raindrops were are lullabye"

but the meaning came through wonderfully anyway. Please post more will you?

[Puppet Master]

This is my uncompleted response to an osacar wilde poem:

Existance is but a stain on the purity of nothing,

The only way to get rid of everything is to forsake it,

Good and evil are but aspects of existance,
but only the foolish believe they exist,

Melacholy is nothings arm, the embracing mother who care not what you have done, willing to embrace all no matter the sin,

Nothing is the consumer,
the gaping mouth that forever devours,

Everything began from nothing,
and everything shall return into is bosum,

[Nocturalis]

Love, dark
Love, dark
Behold what saturnine passions thrive
Under the veiled rays of the moon
So silent the bewilderment
Unpronounced the lament lies on the land

There is but little hope tonight
A canopy of inert gloom
Not the blackest thoughts survive
In the nocturnal reverie

Yes, to the darkly enchanted
Where colours decrease awe multiplies
Seated on sighs in a clear buried night
Hates and fears irreversibly inverted

Eyes adjusted and minds prepared
For sights of reduced glow
No sun can reach me
The disc of sickles hovering low

In your tender arms I’m hold
Hide me like you are hidden
Unify me with mystery
Satisfy me with misery

[HumanePain]

Awesome! Very, very good Nocturalis.

[Dead Cell]

I guess I'll try some. I wrote this one for Samhain.

Come with us
As we wake the dead
This cold November night
Brings the thoughts into my head
Of headless corpses
and grotesque things to be said

Chant with us
And sing the songs of dead
And celebrate the night
Of horror and bliss
and many murders of the knife

Samhain
The end of the season
Samhain
Death with a reason
Samhain
The day they all dread
Samhain
The day of the dead

Die with us
And stop your beating heart
For its too loud inside your grave
Kill as you go down.
Cause there is nothing left to save


Here is one I wrote on thanksgiving.


There is a reason why
I hide from everyone
Not so that I may cry
Not because I want die
But so I may done
With thinking about none

I want to know why
There is no amount
Of pain or lies
That can hide my sighs

Cause no matter
How many people are around
I am still alone.

[Dead Cell]

New one


With out the taste
Of a broken soul
Torn to waste
Because of its haste
To find the one
Who makes it whole

To find its face
Is to know itself
In its dark place
With cramped space
In its darkest room
Its personal hell

To look at her
Is to see its life
She is his cure
With her he is secure
With no strife

[HumanePain]

Short and sweet Dead Cell. I visualize a dark one searching for and finding a companion, yes?

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Blindness is Black

Metal pipes and rubber tires
Crushed glass and tangled wires
Broken boards and battered parts
Twisted springs and shattered hearts.

Across this graveyard requim plays
Beyond this fence lies yonder ways
Beneath this grey sky, brown Earth old
Lies the remnants of my soul.

Pretty, BisB. Very pretty. I thought about doing something like this, but I cannot do justice to poetry, not consistently anyway. But pretty.

[Dead Cell]

Close HP. Searching. Found. But not mine yet....

[Nocturalis]

Self reflected mirrors in jaded eyes
Too blind, too close
The crippling arc of twisted lies

Too high
Too high is the mind

So far beyond itself
Before its own birth
Pregnant with self worth

We now see ourselves
But who does the seeing?

Another watcher
Dark side, true side

Together omniscient
Together nothing

Spellcaster
Divided in blame
United in hypocrisy

Double bladed beauty
Never intended
Ever occurred, simply

[Nocturalis]

She wields her life like poison on the tongue
My toxic bride, where have you gone?

Dominant words, suppres me, inhibit me
Release all passion within me
My inner muse, my darker presence
Suddenly erased from all my sentience

Crossing rivers and roads
Like in mad colorful dreams
Of blood-clad silence
Of blurring agony
Into dusty pleasures

Walk with me
Walk alongside me
Into furtile decay

Blooming corridors
In forests of thought by night
In search of midmoon orchestra

Chasing the wisp of her garment
Cast backward in my direction
Downward, she ventures

The forest black like ink
Her domain, the unfamiliar
Deadly winding coils
Of my own mind

The only meaning
For which I would and did
Gladly sacrify my terrible sanity
My daylight surface features
Soon, she is the only vortex

My psyche the abyss
My inverted face
The glassy outer membrane
The substance of expression

Come with me
My velvet fire
My violet wolverine
She whispers, gently
The subtlety of her perfection
Her verbal ally

Dread your dreams no more
Sigh at sights no more

And I climb downward
Into her womb of promise
Into the teethed aperture of doom!

My harpy, my siren
Deconstruct, reconstruct
To where madness comes closer to life
And life fades to resemble stagnant fire

Her glowing raven claw
Her drifting shark gill

Pull me into death
Pour onto me yourself

Her bosom the cushion
Of horrors untold
Of fortune unknown

In her presence
With her only
As a witness:

[Nocturalis]

Her glass coffin lay suspended
Dreaming beneath blazing limbs
Of imperishable solitude

A cristal casket in transparent bedrock
Chiseled slowly downward
Into the rivers of her nameless fate

One day she shall rise and wither
Any stumbling helpless groom
To help half replace him

For her immolated lost one
Who forged her glowing covering
Who forced her blood cocoon

With veins like piercing nails
So frail, so frigid

Alive, walless, sleepless
Slid from life
Slid from view

[Godslayer Jillian]

You know, I've been thinking...
This thread doesn't make much justice to the poems.
One poem is posted, and it's quickly forgotten when the next poem that is posted.
Maybe the ones that do write continuously should make personal threads like "Nocturnalis' Non-Sequiteur" or "Born Again's Twilight Musings"
I know I would if I wrote more stuff.

[HumanePain]

Nocturalis, you wield the great and dark purple quill of sublime, almost Elizabethan poetry. It is bittersweet reading your words as they are so beautiful, they soar to heights I know I will never reach, like admiring the twinkling of stars forever distant, that cannot be touched.

Damn. I wish I could write like you.

[Born Again]

Interesting idea Jillian, but doesn't that sound a bit arrogant? We need a "Poetry Criticism and Praise" thread, or something along those lines. Otherwise, we would have personal poetry threads all over the place.

[Nocturalis]

A criticism thread does sound like an interesting idea. I wanted to open my own thread untill I found this one. I do write every day, but only post the best Anyway, I'm allways looking to improve, looking for criticism, and I'm sure many people do post here with that in mind.

And thanks Humanepain, I'm glad you liked them so much, I've only recently picked up writing poetry again.

[Nocturalis]

The pounding of immortal blood
Like apocalyptic hooves, surge to me

Transsilvanian tranquility
Sanguinary saturation
Saturnine satisfaction

Through the coarse of red adhesive
Our bond will grow infernallty cohesive

Whispers from a mind in absence forgotten
Fatal to an identity nearly forsaken, misbegotten

A centuries old vortex wraps itself into her
A noxious addiction, corroding prescence

Approach me, grant me yourself, for me to consume
Pour you dark lights onto me, which I shall assume

Liquify, atrophy me
In your wake my resolve is mute

Death in silk wrappings, clad in shrouds of mortal glory
Death with vertical flow in silver tongue and a black-clad mind

Succeed me, absorb me
Let your face alone surround me

And beyond me

[om3gag0th666]

Too abstract.

[Nocturalis]

Originally Posted by om3gag0th666

Too abstract.

Imagine someone succumbing to a vampire's avances.

[Pyre]

MAIMED EXISTENCE
12/04/05

To see the world as it is
To face the truths of life
To find that things aren’t as they were
To see the wars and strife
To witness the loss of innocence
To lose what we had gained
To forget how to recompense
To live forever maimed

[Godslayer Jillian]

I hope people will understand this one. It needs no more words to express its full meaning.


On Religious Chauvinism

(Religion)
That is not a wall;
It's a door.

[Nocturalis]

In other words, religion is a stick to help you walk, not to hit others with.

Maybe not the exact same, but I know what you mean.

[LostAndCrazy]

The outlook a melancholy grey
and sullenly I watch you say
something I am bound to disobey
I just wanted to go out and play

A life so moulded by indiscretion
broken and reshaped like clay
lead by a constant insurrection
eternal, relentless.. I kneel and pray

your life in me invokes contempt
augmented two fold by a murky grey
any empathy for you I repent
your insolence one day I'll repay

as another day draws to a close
though the clouds pierced a ray
light shines through and I arose
A light beckons and I move to obey

[HumanePain]

Beautiful. I feel like this too,
LostAndCrazy.

[Pyre]

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

I hope people will understand this one. It needs no more words to express its full meaning.


On Religious Chauvinism

(Religion)
That is not a wall;
It's a door.

I felt it's saying that many people see religion as something that is definite, something that is absolutely true, and that nothing that contradicts it is correct -- it's a wall, blocking out other beliefs and ideas, closing the person off from a more knowledgeable state. But as a door, religion is a two-way street of giving AND receiving; the person in mind does not simply preach their beliefs and blow off anything else, they instead accept them and welcome them, whether or not the person believes them.

It's what it is, not what it's made out to be. Religion is not supposed to wall people in, it's supposed to open the person up.