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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
11-23-2011, 10:48 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Salem, OR
Posts: 25
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The god problem.
Can god heat up a microwave burrito from 7/11 so hot the he, himself, could not eat it?
Any thoughts?
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11-23-2011, 11:04 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hell, it's other people & both of them are you
Posts: 1,001
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BWAH HA HA HAH!
Best. Religious. Thread. Ever!
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11-24-2011, 12:06 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Wisconsin(thinking about invading the south)
Posts: 3,693
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Why the hell would anyone eat something from 7/11?
__________________
"The chaos of the world viewed from a distance reveals perfection."- me
"Never overestimate the intellect of someone so foolish that they would exploit and perpetuate stupidity in the people around them, for they create their own damnation as they tear out and sell the pillars that support society as a whole, bringing it crashing down upon them."-me
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”- Einstein
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11-24-2011, 12:08 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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It seems like a good idea when you are really, really drunk, and/or high.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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11-24-2011, 12:19 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Renatus
Why the hell would anyone eat something from 7/11?
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Truly it is the work of the devil.
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11-24-2011, 12:22 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,932
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This is by far the best version of this ontological paradox I have ever read.
__________________
Quote:
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Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
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real classy
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11-24-2011, 03:30 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denmark, thou Viking capital!
Posts: 2,277
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That depends, can fictional characters heat up something from a real store?
I ask the same question, only instead of God, I say Pacman.
__________________
Forget me not, for I do not deserve it.
Forget me not, as I do not forget you.
Forget me not, since I remain around.
Forget me not, and keep my memory.
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11-24-2011, 04:30 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hell, it's other people & both of them are you
Posts: 1,001
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Everyone knows that Pacman doesn't eat burritos. Sheesh.
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11-24-2011, 05:57 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denmark, thou Viking capital!
Posts: 2,277
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Nah, he just doesn't eat burritos with cheese 
__________________
Forget me not, for I do not deserve it.
Forget me not, as I do not forget you.
Forget me not, since I remain around.
Forget me not, and keep my memory.
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11-24-2011, 06:10 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 272
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And suddenly, that game is about a kid nomming up escaped burrito ingredients...now I want to play it.
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11-24-2011, 06:17 AM
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#11
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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The problem ultimately begins as is the case with most problems with the Big Bang.
When God designed to create the burrito (after getting an intense case of The Munchies, this idea still hotly debated between Buddhists and Mormons), He, in His infinite wisdom knew that the super hot temperatures of 10+ Gev were too high to allow even His instantaneous creation to last even an attosecond, not to mention the severe case of cheese burn, and thus he planned that after a few hundred thousand years from Time Zero the ultimate properties of quarks and on to leptons and large hadrons would in time lead to the creation of a burrito maker (man) with the time frame such that when the universe cooled to say, 100 degrees Celsius (hot enough to avoid food poisoning, this is where the phrase "Holy Crap!" originated) that then the burrito could be well cooked and yet easy to consume.
Unfortunately, as we all know man was created imperfectly, resulting in a dramatically elongated delay in developing cheese, and even longer for the more complex burrito, missing the temperature gradient by a few hundred degrees, with the result that man accidentally invented the frozen burrito. The Universe at this time, being only 2 and half degrees above absolute zero, was entirely useless as a cooking range, and thus has left man with "the god problem" ever since.
It has been thought that with the Large Hadron Collider the temperature may be raised to temperatures sufficient to reheat the burrito and with duplicating the early universe, enable scientists to "see into the mouth of God", however, the world wide community would not support the Manhattan Project, saying repeatedly "This stuff is made in New York City!" and so it was relocated to Europe, without salsa.
Sources supplied on request.
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11-24-2011, 06:47 AM
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#12
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solumina
It seems like a good idea when you are really, really drunk, and/or high.
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.....and supposedly there's no one higher than 'god'. 
Back your 'Holy Crap' up, HP!
Remember when we had the same initials? 
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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11-24-2011, 06:58 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Entity0013
Can god heat up a microwave burrito from 7/11 so hot the he, himself, could not eat it?
Any thoughts?
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I was just thinking the same thing! But there ain't nothing holy about those mutant fucking burritos. THAT's the work of the devil.
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11-24-2011, 07:04 AM
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#14
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sinjob
I was just thinking the same thing! But there ain't nothing holy about those mutant fucking burritos. THAT's the work of the devil.
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Yeah, but who created the devil????
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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11-24-2011, 09:58 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the broken temple bells, in the ringing...
Posts: 5,979
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I've actually just had to google image a burrito. We don't have them here. Apparantly a classic burrito in some places has nearly 1000 calories in it.
It looks fucking disgusting .
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11-24-2011, 10:39 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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Burritos are man food, Miss Honeythorn. Chunks of mystery meat, beans, cheese and hot sauce designed to be devoured by hard working sweaty, hairy men. And women. Not for the timid. Personally I am fond of Chipotle's burritos.
Wolfie: did I say sources? I meant tortillas.
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11-24-2011, 11:03 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Don't gender burritos! They don't have to be that fattening. I like Amy's frozen burritos when I'm too lazy to make my own, 300 calories.
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11-24-2011, 11:05 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Fiddler's Green
Posts: 1,406
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Quote:
Originally Posted by honeythorn
I've actually just had to google image a burrito. We don't have them here. Apparantly a classic burrito in some places has nearly 1000 calories in it.
It looks fucking disgusting .
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If you were in America, you wouldn't just hate us purely for our self-righetousness and stupidity because our kitchen has it's own stench that'll make anyone flee.
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11-24-2011, 11:06 AM
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#19
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HumanePain
Burritos are man food, Miss Honeythorn. Chunks of mystery meat, beans, cheese and hot sauce designed to be devoured by hard working sweaty, hairy men. And women. Not for the timid. Personally I am fond of Chipotle's burritos.
Wolfie: did I say sources? I meant tortillas.
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Perhaps you meant sauces?
I'm always confusing sources with sauces. Wikipedia doesn't taste good on burritos.
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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11-24-2011, 09:19 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grausamkeit
Wikipedia doesn't taste good on burritos.
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That's because it's full of over-processed crap
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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11-24-2011, 10:19 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hell, it's other people & both of them are you
Posts: 1,001
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We make our own burritos and they taste fabulous and are quite healthy... until I add a metric fuck-tonne of cheese.
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11-25-2011, 01:20 AM
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#22
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Wisconsin(thinking about invading the south)
Posts: 3,693
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saya
Don't gender burritos! They don't have to be that fattening. I like Amy's frozen burritos when I'm too lazy to make my own, 300 calories.
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Ooh, I've loved those things ever since I was a little kid, they are surprisingly good.
__________________
"The chaos of the world viewed from a distance reveals perfection."- me
"Never overestimate the intellect of someone so foolish that they would exploit and perpetuate stupidity in the people around them, for they create their own damnation as they tear out and sell the pillars that support society as a whole, bringing it crashing down upon them."-me
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”- Einstein
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12-05-2011, 09:42 AM
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#23
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 87
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It's obvious that you're the spawn of Satan. ;-)
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12-06-2011, 10:35 AM
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#24
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,271
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Yep, Judas Priest even wrote a song about me!
__________________
I'd rather label myself than have a million other people do it for me. ~ Pathogen
...I've been accused of folly by a fool. ~Antigone
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12-06-2011, 10:40 AM
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#25
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 97
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I read the thread title and thought to myself, "Is God being a problem again?" Now I can see that it has safely veered into cheesy burritos.
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