.: Randomness :.

[Wise Child]

Nah, last night was BAD. I actually had to be scraped off the floor and escorted home! I've used a normal bong many a time to spectacularly giggly effect, so I was pretty excited at how technical it all looked - the bucket of water, the foil, the creativity shown towards same - it was beautiful. *sniff* And it felt good.

So good, in fact, I had another joint to celebrate. Then another ... and at some point reality went a tiny bit skewed and extreme nausea set in.

[mortalitas incomitatus]

well done m'dear.

wish i was there.

[Wise Child]

Y'know, I think you may have been... Then again, I also saw George Bush, David Bowie and those weird red things with detachable heads out of Labyrinth. Was'nt reeeeally what you'd call compos mentis at the time.

[edible_eye]

in the spirit of martin luther king day, a day during which we all get to either relax with a day off or receive holiday pay should we have to work - enjoy this celebration courtesy of charlie brown and the rest of the peanuts gang.

http://media.putfile.com/mlkcbsh

[AlKilyu]

Hey edible: I am breaking down and getting a Sirius radio, I can't take terrestrial here anymore.

What kind do you have? I don't want anything fancy, just something I can listen to in my car (that transmits via FM radio) that I can then bring in the office with me and play thru the stereo on my desk.

Any suggestions?

[Ben Lahnger]

Okay, this is an update to the situation with my family that I previously related starting on page 104, post #5156 of this thread.

Here's the PERMALINK to that post.

To summarize, we have long suspected that my Mom has been struggling with mental illness and depression for years. That came to a head on Monday, January 2nd, when my Mom started the day with some early morning drinking; then she and Dad had a violent, escalating fight that lasted for hours. After a time my Mom hit my Dad in the head repeatedly. My Dad pushed her back so hard that she tripped and fell. She grabbed a knife and brandished it threatingly. My dad tried to disarm her, and she slashed his arm.

He left and drove to the Sheriff's Department. She followed him, and was promptly arrested. On Tuesday she appeared before a judge, and on Thursday she was confronted with the fact that my Dad, Brother and Sister were all willing to sign the involuntary commitment paperwork. Faced with that, she agreed to voluntarily submit to inpatient treatment. And as long as she complies with that, the criminal proceeding is on hold. As my Sister said, "It was the best possible outcome we could have hoped for."

I've left a few details out, but that about gets you to the point of my last update. The rest of this will explain what has happened since.

My Dad had to go back to the house with the Sheriff and wait in the car while the Sheriff went inside. The Sheriff confiscated the knife and then took pictures all around the house. Then he informed my Dad that the Fire Marshall would have to come out to inspect the house, due to the years my Mom has spent hoarding newspapers and magazines, and stacking them up all over the house. The Psychiatrist who is treating my Mom also said the clutter had to be cleaned out to discourage further hoarding if and when my Mom comes back home. So my Dad has spent the intervening time throwing out stuff we wanted to get rid of for a long time. My Dad told me the other day that he could have a fire in the fireplace for the first time in over 10 years, which is a good thing in Wisconsin.

My Mom is working the program in the Mental Health Center where she is staying, but it is clear that she thinks she is just going along with whatever they want her to do in order to get out. They have her taking antipsychotic medication (it's a little strip that melts on her tongue ... like a breath mint ... trippy!) which she thinks is a medication for relaxing. I'm told it will take about two weeks to start having an impact, and then it won't eliminate the delusions so much as minimize them to a point that she won't be bothered by them much. I had it explained like this: imagine you have an itch, and you put some lanacane on it - you still feel the itch a little but you don't feel like you have to scratch it any more.

I think the people there are very sharp. I'm lucky that I have an uncle who is a supervisor at the center, and while he can't be directly involved in Mom's treatment, he's been a great help in supporting my family. He indicates that the folks there will see through it if she's trying to snow them, so I am confident that she'll get the help she needs. I'm also certain that the progress will probably be slow. Baby steps.

My Brother and Sister have visited her often, and I have called her and talked to her for hours. It is good to hear her voice, and I know it does a lot of good for her to hear from us. But every conversation I have with her includes these moments when I hear the illness talking again. *sigh* And some moments are heartbreaking.

In five minutes we can go from talking about the potential plans for divorce to promising me she will be attending the Family Reunion in July. This reunion is a semi-annual week on the beach in North Carolina, when my Dad and his eight brothers and sisters each rent a beach house near each other. Each brother or sister hosts their whole extended family in their house. During the day we go swimming, fishing, golfing, shopping and other touristy things, and each night we go to one of the brothers or sisters house for a group family dinner. Two summers ago, my Dad's family hosted Thursday night and we had a pig roast. Mmmmmm ... good times! Anyway, last time we did this in 2004, a total of 91 relatives showed up. It's a very large extended family, all related to my Dad. So I don't know how my Mom thinks she can guarantee she's going to this thing ... but it's still a long way off, so we'll see.

Something somebody there said has led my Mom to believe she could be out of there in two weeks. I'm wondering what her reaction will be when she realizes that she's not getting out of there anywhere near that soon.

Mom and Dad had a vacation to the Canary Islands scheduled for February 3rd. Since we don't know if she'll be out of the mental health facility by then and the court has said that while the criminal charges are pending she cannot leave the state, it's clear she will not be going on the trip. Not to mention the fact that it may be a while before they can both be in the same room together, let along go on a trip.

Everything is paid for - airfare, hotels, meals, etc ... everything except needing some pocket change for souvenier shopping. So my Dad considered selling the trip, but he would only get a fraction of the value back. He considered giving the trip to my Brother and his wife, but Dad really wants to go on this trip. So he asked me to go.

It makes sense - I'm unemployed, so my schedule's free and I'm my Mom's favorite child, so she's least likely to be as angry about me going as anyone else. I have been thinking for years that time is speeding by and my parents won't be around much longer, so I would jump at the chance to spend 2 weeks shoveling garbage with my Dad. The trip is just a nice bonus. But there is a conversation I'm going to have to have with my Mom that I am not looking forward to.

So I got my passport application filed yesterday and am making the travel arrangements today and tomorrow. An added bonus is that I can schedule this so I have a few extra days in Milwaukee, so I will get to see my Mom a few times. I think that is a very good thing.

Okay, I've rambled enough for now. Please excuse the length of this thing ... I really try not to do this, but this seemed important.

Finally, thank you everyone here for the kindness, support and advice you've given me. It is a big part of why I feel fairly sane today when such inconceivable madness has befallen our family. I am indebted to you, and Gnetters hold a special place in my thoughts.

[~Nix Nightingale~]

WOW Ben! You are going through some crazy stuff. I'm sorry you have to deal with all that, and I hope everything is back to normal soon.


Also, you might want to just hint to your mom you want to go on the trip. If she knows she'll be in there and can't go, i bet she'll just tell you to go instead...

[WolfMoon]

Ben, I'm glad that things are looking up a little. Hope your mom gets the help she needs in there.

Eyes, in Texas we use any old excuse to drink!

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Ben, I'm so glad things are moving in the right direction.

Plus I bet your Dad could use some Father/Son time away alone with you after everything that has happened recently. Those will be memories you both will Treasure.

Be sure and take some awesome Canary Island pics..



We'll keep thinking of all of you..

[ghostposts]

Ben, so sorry you have to go through this.

Delusional thinking is a tough habit to break. My sister is schizoeffective, which puts her on the meds, but she still sometimes has to have a reality check. It gets to be a habit- it's chemical now, but the habit is there later, even with the meds.

Not the psychosis, just the getting an idea into her head, like getting released early.

She will be given coping mechanisms and behavioral therapy to help her deal with it.

Thing is, hon, your Mom is where they can see any fall out that's coming. She's talking about this idea of being released, and they may let her for a while, to help her accept being in the position she's in, but when reality asserts itself, they will be there and can handle any reaction she has. They will put this issue into her care plan.

Any thoughts you have on the subject, don't hesitate to talk to the nurses and ask questions. You can get the number form your dad, and talk to them direct. It may take a few calls, but do it if you need to. Be your Mom's advocate.

Try to let off some steam on your vacation, and take a little time off from the tension. It will help you get your second wind. Same for your Dad.

<hug>

[mortalitas incomitatus]

ben,

*HUGS*

[edible_eye]

the best thing you can do for yourself, ben is to continue to approach this whole, horrible scenario exactly as you have been. you're open, accepting and while obviously heartbroken - you've got your shit together mentally.

if it gets to be too much, have a few drinks and watch the charlie brown - martin luther king special i linked up above.

it's good for a couple of laughs.

[joyslayer]

Laughs are good. They are very good.....

[WolfMoon]

Joy, that's just sick.

[Ben Lahnger]

Edible, actually the ebaum soundboard prank call links you posted around new years were a big lift when I first needed to take my mind off of things ... about two days after I got the first news about my parents. I like the Deniro call, and Dr. Phil is a hoot!

Everyone else, thanks again so much. I am doing better. Got even better feedback today from the supervising therapist who is handling Mom's case. They will handle the issue of her perceptions about when she is getting out of there. Not our family's problem. As the therapist put it, "let us be the bad guys." Amen.

And tonight, a minor miracle falls into my lap. As I'm comtemplating calling my Mom tomorrow night and thinking about how I will break the news that I am going on the vacation, my sister calls. And she says that when she talked to my Mom on the phone tonight, Mom says "You know, since I'm not going to be able to go on this vacation, your Dad should ask your brother to go."

Halleluja!!! .... *singing James Brown ... "I feel good!"*

[cannibalnuns]

Odd how life can be no? I am glad things are looking up and the like. I do not say much but I am glad to hear you are better. Things eventually work out in their own way. There might not be a light at the end of the tunnel but luckily man invented flashlights. But I am glad mate. Kudos. May the winds of fortune sail you and may you sail a gentle sea...

[TheKorovaMilkbar]

Hey guys, just wanted to let you know, I move tomorrow, and I don't yet have the internet at the apartment. So just a heads up, I might not be around for a few days. I'll try to keep updated using my friends computer if need be, but until then...

Wow, this is the last day I live in this house. Wierd. Well, off I go to finish packing and then to bed. Tomorrow is gonna be tough.

Chat with ya later Gnetters. Much love.

[Wise Child]

Night night, Korova. We wish you joy and insane parties of your new place!

[Ben Lahnger]

Wow, Korova, I don't know if you'll see this, but good luck with the move. I hope you'll get all the help you need - broad shoulders, easy packing and no breakage. And I hope you like the new place ... a lot!

[edible_eye]

Originally Posted by AlKilyu

Hey edible: I am breaking down and getting a Sirius radio, I can't take terrestrial here anymore.

What kind do you have? I don't want anything fancy, just something I can listen to in my car (that transmits via FM radio) that I can then bring in the office with me and play thru the stereo on my desk.

Any suggestions?

this the one i have, al.

http://circuitcity.com/ssm/SIRIUS-Sa...oductDetail.do

to use it in the house and in the car, you'll need a docking station for both areas. your subscription activates only one radio, so in order to use it in more than one place - you'll need to be able to set it up in more than one place. if you're handy, you'll be able to install it in your car. the rear window seal needs to be manipulated in order to run the antennae on a sedan, like you have.

sirius radio kicks ass. and just an fyi - you can log onto sirius.com and use your subscription through your pc. for example, right now i'm listening to one of the metal stations while i'm typing. they don't have the stern show over the computer just yet - i'm hoping it's a bandwidth issue and it'll be resolved soon.

this sounds like it should be in 'shill'... sorry to everyone else.

[edible_eye]

good luck, korova. hurry back. there'll be an empty space here 'til you return.

[WolfMoon]

*weird*

So, my husband recently lost his job.I was talking to my manager today and she's going to let me take on extra hours by working overnight. A gauranteed 40 a week. The only sucky part? One of my co-workers had to bust the hell out of her knee in order for me to have this outrageous stroke of luck just when I need it.

Whatever's up there definately likes me, and I'm not hatin' It either.

Must be Kharma.


*WERD*

[Scythan]

Today is my two year anniversary with my boyfriend.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

I'm watching the Zim episode where he gets Gur from the Tallest.

And that makes me happy.


America loves Gur!

"00o0o0o I wanted it to EX-SPLODE!!!"

[JuliaGaltic]

I love Invader Zim!!!

"I am Ziiiiiiiim! Hahaha.