 |
|
 |
| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
06-19-2007, 08:08 PM
|
#1
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In between the gods of time
Posts: 1,334
|
A poem and a song ^^;
I wrote the poem on my anxiety xD
And I wrote the song about the Night Stalker who was a serial killer from the 1980s named Richard Ramirez who would kill people and then have sex with them.
... So yeah... Hope it's not too horrible ^^;; I know my writing isn't nearly as good as the most of you... but I try =P
Anxious
My face gleems red,
Might as well be blood, though it is not.
I can't find my thoughts, I lost them in my rage.
I am numb; such feelings, I forgot.
My eyes won't open,
The are glued shut by the crust of my tears.
I feel guilty, for being who I am.
I felt guilty all these years.
And tis the day,
I find myself once again,
Here; in the land of sadness and the ocean of pain.
I try to take myself to a happy place,
but it is there where I don't feel safe.
My worry protects me
From what is to come.
My sadness is the shell of my fear.
My fear protects me,
from myself.
---
The Night Stalker
Ramirez and Bravewolf, making the pact
Joining in friendship and falling intact.
Ramirez and Vincow, was much not the same
The results were quite different and so was the blame.
It was in 1984, on June the 28th,
The man he was greedy, he wanted the bait.
But when it came down to miss Vincows home,
There wasn't enough to steal, and so...
The annihilation began!
and the death of a women, was soon to arrive!
The blood slappettered walls, and the curtains were stained;
and somehow the sexual tensions were raised.
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
The night stalker is here.
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
Beware, the night stalker is here!
He'd walk through the door,
and as he came near,
He'd look in your eyes,
and you'll shrivle in fear.
Then he'd stab you once more,
and you'd fall to the floor!
but it wasn't enough for him.
So the fornication began!
and a dead women was soon to be fucked!
milt on the couch dripping on to the floor,
If you're already dead you could still be a whore?
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
The night stalker is here.
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
Beware, the night stalker is here!
__________________
To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 09:54 PM
|
#2
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In between the gods of time
Posts: 1,334
|
... Please don't be too negative ^^;;; thanks
__________________
To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 10:02 PM
|
#3
|
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 69
|
Nice, I like it. 
|
|
|
|
|
06-19-2007, 10:05 PM
|
#4
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In between the gods of time
Posts: 1,334
|
Really?? Yay!! Thank you ^^
__________________
To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 01:26 AM
|
#5
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Philasphyxia
Posts: 156
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by DeathChii
The Night Stalker
Ramirez and Bravewolf, making the pact
Joining in friendship and falling intact.
Ramirez and Vincow, was much not the same
The results were quite different and so was the blame.
It was in 1984, on June the 28th,
The man he was greedy, he wanted the bait.
But when it came down to miss Vincows home,
There wasn't enough to steal, and so...
The annihilation began!
and the death of a women, was soon to arrive!
The blood slappettered walls, and the curtains were stained;
and somehow the sexual tensions were raised.
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
The night stalker is here.
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
Beware, the night stalker is here!
He'd walk through the door,
and as he came near,
He'd look in your eyes,
and you'll shrivle in fear.
Then he'd stab you once more,
and you'd fall to the floor!
but it wasn't enough for him.
So the fornication began!
and a dead women was soon to be fucked!
milt on the couch dripping on to the floor,
If you're already dead you could still be a whore?
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
The night stalker is here.
Jab, Peirce, Puncture, Thurst!
Beware, the night stalker is here!
|
HMM OK
________________
__________________
-Le Magnifique
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 01:27 AM
|
#6
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Philasphyxia
Posts: 156
|
P.S. KOLCHAK
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 02:34 AM
|
#7
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,332
|
I liked the poem. You keep trying, because I think you got a talent going for it. The songlyric would probably fit in nicely to a band who had a sound like Bauhaus.
__________________
Wasted forever, on speed, bikes and booze.
"Meow. Mew. Mrow. Maow? Miaox." - Lovely Delkaetre speaks cat.
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 08:09 AM
|
#8
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In between the gods of time
Posts: 1,334
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Extraordinary
P.S. KOLCHAK
|
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Ram%C3%ADrez
__________________
To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 08:10 AM
|
#9
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In between the gods of time
Posts: 1,334
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Methadrine
I liked the poem. You keep trying, because I think you got a talent going for it. The songlyric would probably fit in nicely to a band who had a sound like Bauhaus.
|
Thank you ^^; hopefully I will get better someday...
__________________
To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 08:13 AM
|
#10
|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Extraordinary
P.S. KOLCHAK
|
Groan. Good work, DeathChii by the way.
Goth Forever
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 08:41 AM
|
#11
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In between the gods of time
Posts: 1,334
|
Thanks... the song would probably sound better if you kne the tune I had in my head for it xD;
__________________
To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 09:00 AM
|
#12
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Flushing, NY
Posts: 3,206
|
"the ocean of pain"
I love the imagery. You underrate yourself as a writer. There's definitely potential here.
__________________
"Live for today, but know that tomorrow always comes- even if not for you."-MollyMac
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 09:22 AM
|
#13
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Philasphyxia
Posts: 156
|
__________________
-Le Magnifique
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 09:26 AM
|
#14
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Philasphyxia
Posts: 156
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Vyvian Blackthorne
Groan. Good work, DeathChii by the way.
Goth Forever
|
You forgot to tackily add "Good goth!" to the beginning of this.
__________________
-Le Magnifique
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 09:29 AM
|
#15
|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Extraordinary
You forgot to tackily add "Good goth!" to the beginning of this.
|
Guess I did. You forgot to obnoxiously write IN GIGANTIC LETTERS. But thank you for pointing that out, it was much appreciated
Goth Forever
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 09:39 AM
|
#16
|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a black hole with a black moon
Posts: 2,658
|
__________________
"I think in some way I wanted it to end, even if it meant my own destruction."
-Jeffrey Dahmer
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 12:42 PM
|
#17
|
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a magical cupcake world.
Posts: 878
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Vyvian Blackthorne
Groan. Good work, DeathChii by the way.
Goth Forever
|
...WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
That bunny scared the <insert random vulgarity> out of me. Consequently, it is now my new background..
I love love love loved your poem, Chii!
The first four lines about the Night Stalker sounds like something on a tombstone..and the entire thing reminds me of a twisted Disney song.
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 02:47 PM
|
#18
|
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In between the gods of time
Posts: 1,334
|
Thank you guys for the positive feedback ^^
__________________
To the somethingness
Which prevents the nothingness
Like Homer's wild boar
From trashing this way and that
Its white tusks
Through human beings
Like crackling stalks
And to nothing less
I offer this suffering of my father
"The Offering" - Stan Rice
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 03:44 PM
|
#19
|
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a magical cupcake world.
Posts: 878
|
Chii!!!
I loooooove you!
YAAAAAAY!
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 04:07 PM
|
#20
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Philasphyxia
Posts: 156
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Vyvian Blackthorne
Guess I did. You forgot to obnoxiously write IN GIGANTIC LETTERS. But thank you for pointing that out, it was much appreciated
Goth Forever |
Hey, my letters aren't gigantic, your monitor's just small.
__________________
-Le Magnifique
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 04:14 PM
|
#21
|
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a magical cupcake world.
Posts: 878
|
Wait...wouldn't a small monitor make the letters small?
And why is 'Goth Forever' bright yellow?
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 04:29 PM
|
#22
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Philasphyxia
Posts: 156
|
No, a smaller monitor has a smaller resolution.
__________________
-Le Magnifique
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 04:29 PM
|
#23
|
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a magical cupcake world.
Posts: 878
|
You are an ass, extraordinary. Go die somewhere, preferably far away from here. I hate you.
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 05:05 PM
|
#24
|
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 650
|
See? It's simple. You can harass anyone on this board without any repercussions. Go die somewhere? Oh come on Tismine, you can think of something better than that.
__________________
What?
|
|
|
|
|
06-20-2007, 05:10 PM
|
#25
|
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In a magical cupcake world.
Posts: 878
|
Oh, goodness, of course I can. I have a headache, and was trying to keep my insults relatively tame. And I'm mad at him for a reason, not just because I feel like starting something.
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:57 PM.
|
|
