Musical annoyance

Kali Maxwell · 09-04-2005, 10:32 AM

Okay, this is more minor irritation than real rant, but I'm burning to complain about it.

The basic situation at my house: I'm Gothic and my soon-to-be husband is not.

He has no problem with my being Gothic, thank heavens; he's an open-minded atheist.

But he tends to like... cute music. 3 Doors Down, Blue October, various Jpop, etc. And that's what is on the main stereo. All the time. Everyday.

The only time I can get away with Cradle, Tristania, or even lighter 80's Goth is if he's in the shower, out of the house, or wearing headphones while at his computer. It's even hard to get away with stuff like Rammstein and Metallica!!! (He'll be even more of a music Nazi when I finish downloading Dead Can Dance, The Sister's of Mercy, Deicide, etc. I can't remember all of them off the top of my head, seeing as how there're more than 10 in progress.)

I'm going to have to work out a schedule for who can play what how many days per week, or something before I go out of my skull. I need my inspirational music to write, to draw, to feel good, gods damn it. He's encouraging me to draw and write more to get my books off the ground.

I'm sorry, but I can't produce quality comics while listening to a terrible Japanese pop band called "Analog Fish," whose inept singer chants in broken rhythm about "fighting dreamers," and "sunny days!"

ANALOG FUCKING FISH. Sunny days my boney white ass. I hate the fucking sun.

Minor, like I said, but I've lain awake at night fantasizing about going into the living room, into his music collection on his computer, highlighting all of those shitty bands, and gleefully pressing the "Delete" key, just so I won't be subjected to it anymore. Maybe he'd get the hint if all of it just disappeared one day.

But I'm too nice to do something like that in real life. I'll argue all day, but I'm only truly cruel in my mind.

Kali Maxwell · 09-04-2005, 12:31 PM

Ugh. I just reread the above. It's utter shit. I always come across as a little kid when I complain about minor things. Please disregard.

Bodnoirbabe · 09-04-2005, 12:38 PM

It's not shit. It's actually a very valid feeling you have there. It's the small things our significant others do for us that can make or break a relationship.

It sounds like your music is very important to you and he doesn't seem to grasp that. He's forcing his music down your throat and that's not fair. Marriage is about compromise, and he's not doing that. At least not with your music.

You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him about it. Come to terms about what he doesn't like about your music and what you don't like about his. Then you both need to go through your collections and take out those things that the other can't stand. Promise to play it only during alone time. The rest, you should mix into one file so you can both listen to the music you like at the same time.

That's all the advice i've got. Oh, except this. If it's making you feel anything at all, it's not shit. Period. No ones feelings are shit. there are just people out there that would like to make you feel that they are.

Kali Maxwell · 09-04-2005, 01:01 PM

Thank you for your advice. I really mean it.

I know I should talk about things more, but I'm always afraid of sounding like I'm shoving things down HIS throat. It's a a stupid fear, considering that everybody gets mad at each other about something now and then, I have no reason to be irky about talking to him, but it still lingers in the back of my mind. He himself actually tells me to talk to him about things. I quote, "If I do something to make you unhappy, just tell me I'm making you unhappy. Say, 'Fuck you,' or something."

Bodnoirbabe · 09-04-2005, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyesofatragedy

I would suggest getting a cheap cd player to listen to your music on so that way he won't hear it if talking to him about the situation doesn't help. I invested in a PSP not too long ago so now I can listen to my music as loud as the headphones permit (and trust me it's pretty damn LOUD) as well as play games or watch movies.

that's a really good idea. LOL. if you want to be non confrontational, get an iPod or PSP! that way he doesn't have to hear it, you don't have to hear his and you'll always have your music with you wherever you go!

wish i had thought about that.

Kali Maxwell · 09-04-2005, 01:31 PM

I'll consider that.

And once again, thanks to both of you.

Spazik · 09-04-2005, 01:39 PM

I don't care for goth music much, myself. But you don't have to like everything your signifigant other does.

Kali Maxwell · 09-04-2005, 11:03 PM

(How did this warrant movement to the music section?)

Selena · 09-09-2005, 05:56 PM

Kali, I know what you're feeling. My boyfriend also have a weird music taste that I will never understand - he loves to listen movie soundtracks and tv themes.
I respect his tastes, as long we respect mines. But I can't still figure out why he thinks Dead Can Dance is depressing. :???:

Of course, I ask myself what would it be when we live together. I'm not a tolerant person: if you play some reaalllyy nasty music - like those stupid Summer hits that everyone seems to enjoy - near me, the possibility of having me shouting at your hears "STOP LISTENING TO THIS CRAP!" would be 97%.

We are so different. And I'm glad for this difference.

punkirony · 09-09-2005, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kali Maxwell

(How did this warrant movement to the music section?)

Excellent point.^^

But anyways....Kali, you shouldn't just give in and go hide away with a CD player with the music up really loud. Say something to him. Even though you're hesitant to do it, getting these tense feelings off your chest will make you feel better. Stop thinking more about him rather than your self.
Good luck