I miss her

korinna5555 · 10-16-2007, 06:55 AM

I miss my little baby girl..

Metabolik · 10-16-2007, 09:49 AM

What happened to her?

korinna5555 · 10-18-2007, 06:37 AM

Miscarriage..

Metabolik · 10-18-2007, 08:40 AM

Oh, I'm so sorry. I know what miscarriages can be like, but only from a brothers view.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-18-2007, 09:40 AM

You had a miscarriage? Aren't you in highschool?

Amarantha · 10-19-2007, 09:19 AM

Nevermind her age, Ophelia.

Something tragic happened, and the most we can do is comfort her.

Kat, darling, it'll be alright. Promise.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-19-2007, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amarantha

Nevermind her age, Ophelia.

Something tragic happened, and the most we can do is comfort her.

Kat, darling, it'll be alright. Promise.

I am minding her age. Yes, something sad did happen, but honestly, what 15 year old is ready for a child?

More than that, this thread seems to me like a ploy for attention.

Green.Lady · 10-19-2007, 11:58 AM

15!!! Wow...

Sorry for your loss, but yes, you're very young and sometimes nature has a way of peacefully sending... um... fetuses/embryos/whatever to the next world because they could not have survived once born. In this case, perhaps a body as young as yours could not have effectively produced a healthy child. This is going to sound horrible, but in the end this may make things turn out for the better.

HumanePain · 10-19-2007, 03:23 PM

:: hugs Bela ::

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 10-20-2007, 08:58 AM

Oh hunny that's terrible.

*Hugs*

That's so sad.

prophecyofdoom · 10-20-2007, 09:41 AM

Oh, dear, that's so awful. I can't imagine how terrible you must feel- when I was pregnant I couldn't even set up a room for the baby out of fear that if something happened, the grief would be too overwhelming if I had to take it all down. Most people don't get pregnant at the "right" time, but you bond with your babies even before they're born, and the heartache of miscarriage is a heavy weight to bear.

korinna5555 · 10-20-2007, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I am minding her age. Yes, something sad did happen, but honestly, what 15 year old is ready for a child?

More than that, this thread seems to me like a ploy for attention.

First of all, I am not 15.

Second of all, you are a bitch. Simply put. I don't understand how even you could say something so awful.

korinna5555 · 10-20-2007, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prophecyofdoom

Most people don't get pregnant at the "right" time, but you bond with your babies even before they're born, and the heartache of miscarriage is a heavy weight to bear.

Yes, it was a bit earlier than planned, but both my fiance and I wanted her very much. We both bonded with her, and we both loved her.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-20-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by korinna5555

First of all, I am not 15.

Second of all, you are a bitch. Simply put. I don't understand how even you could say something so awful.

Ok, sorry, you're 16--almost 17.

Honestly, I don't care if I'm called a bitch. Yeah, it IS a shame you had a miscarriage. It really is. However, what's even more of a shame is how tons of irresponsible teenagers are getting pregnant every year, and either half-assedly raising kids, making their parents help, getting welfare, or giving it up for adoption. None of those are great options. Not getting pregnant at 16 is a great option.
That's what I'm pissed off about.

And I know you're telling me that I'm a bitch because I said you made this thread for attention--hell yeah I think that.
You started it out being all cryptic and mysterious, KNOWING someone would ask for more details, so you could tell everyone here that you had a miscarriage. Once again, I do feel for you, I just also think that if you really were pregnant, having a miscarriage is the best thing that could have happened.

HumanePain · 10-20-2007, 03:18 PM

Opheilia, please indulge my curiosity: at what age do you think it is OK to become pregnant?

I state in advance: I mean this as an honest discussion about what she went through, I promise not to make this an emotional debate.

I don't blame you if you do not wish to reply.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-20-2007, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

Opheilia, please indulge my curiosity: at what age do you think it is OK to become pregnant?

I state in advance: I mean this as an honest discussion about what she went through, I promise not to make this an emotional debate.

I don't blame you if you do not wish to reply.

I think age can be irrelevant, however, our society dictates that a "good" age to become pregnant is probably 23-30.

I don't think it's horrible if you get pregnant outside of those ages, but it probably isn't for the best.

Think of it this way: It IS a shame she had a miscarriage. I am well aware it is an extremely traumatic event.
But there are other things that would be horrible if the baby was born.

The mother would have to miss a lot of school.
Almost certainly would not complete college, and it would definitely be much MUCH more difficult.
It would be much much more difficult to get a job, and if you have no job, where's the money for the baby coming?
She'd kiss hanging out with her friends goodbye for a long time.
She'd be stuck with the father. Granted, she's in love with him now. Feelings DO change, especially because they're both so young.
Post-partum depression, anyone?

I could go on. I do feel bad that I came off very harsh, but I feel like I'm being very realistic.
It's an epidemic that teenagers are becoming pregnant at such young ages, and if you miscarry, take it as a hint that you should not be having a child, and probably not having sex.

JCC · 10-20-2007, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I think age can be irrelevant, however, our society dictates that a "good" age to become pregnant is probably 23-30.

I don't think it's horrible if you get pregnant outside of those ages, but it probably isn't for the best.

My mother was 41 and my father was 48 when I was born.

Oh snap!

I guess that we can safely assume that I'll grow into a life of destitute poverty and infinite depression.

HumanePain · 10-20-2007, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I think age can be irrelevant, however, our society dictates that a "good" age to become pregnant is probably 23-30.

Interesting how society changes what age it thinks is good. During the 1800's, it was quite common in "civilized" societies for 16 year old girls to wed and become mothers, of many children.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

The mother would have to miss a lot of school.
Almost certainly would not complete college, and it would definitely be much MUCH more difficult.

Agreed. But it can be done.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

It would be much much more difficult to get a job, and if you have no job, where's the money for the baby coming?

Agreed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

She'd kiss hanging out with her friends goodbye for a long time.

I think that this is NOT more horrible than having a miscarriage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

She'd be stuck with the father. Granted, she's in love with him now. Feelings DO change, especially because they're both so young.

This is very valid: As they become mature, the odds are against them remaining together. But it has been done, although the exception and not the rule.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Post-partum depression, anyone?

This is accurate, but because it is expected, the feeling she has does not make it any less grievous for her, sympathy and forgiveness despite one's mistakes are ways to help her healing begin.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I could go on. I do feel bad that I came off very harsh, but I feel like I'm being very realistic.
It's an epidemic that teenagers are becoming pregnant at such young ages, and if you miscarry, take it as a hint that you should not be having a child, and probably not having sex.

Agreed, although statistically teenage pregnancy is on the decline.
Birth control use is on the rise, as is sex education that includes the full consequences of boys as well as girls in becoming premature parents.
You are right to shine objective light on the background of her experience, someone has to do it.

But I still have unlimited hugs for her. We are thinking people here, but we are also wholehearted people, not cold computers, and we can still have sympathy for one who has made a mistake.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-20-2007, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

Everything HP said.

I understand it was a sad event, I've been saying it's really a shame since post 1. However, it makes me very VERY angry that so many kids and teenagers are masquerading as adults, while our entire society is lowered from it.

NOTE: I'm not going to say that she was one of those teenagers, I'm just saying that in general.

Green.Lady · 10-20-2007, 04:52 PM

Yeah... I'm going to back up Ophelia on this one... this is the 21st century - women have so many opportunities now and having a baby so young would most likely ruin your chances of getting your dream career, having a normal college/university experience, etc. I do feel bad for Korinna, and there may be things I don't know about her: in some places it's very normal even nowadays to be pregnant before graduating from high school. But I'd suggest being very careful with birth control from now on, as one little mistake can drastically change your life. I'm the same age as you and I know I couldn't handle a baby - I'd probably get an abortion (sorry if that offends anyone).

I'm not trying to be an asshole by asking this, but were you engaged before the pregnancy was discovered?

MollyMac · 10-20-2007, 05:08 PM

How far along were you?

gothicusmaximus · 10-20-2007, 05:18 PM

I don't know if we should debate this. I'm sure she's already come to terms with the popular perception that she's an idiot for getting knocked up so young. There's no need to bash her over the head with it now, especially when she feels like shit.
If you think of what she's probably heard from her parents, kids at her high school, even strangers on the street, I think you'll agree that she doesn't need to hear anything from gothicdotnet.

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 10-20-2007, 05:35 PM

Um she's not in high school as I recall reading. And WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT AGE SHE WAS???!!!!

Pain is pain, she misses her baby. She wanted her baby, and there's nothing else to it.

korinna5555 · 10-20-2007, 05:58 PM

Thank you, CCT. Thank you, Humane. Thank you, gothicusmaximus.

You know, does age really make a difference how much it hurts? Do any of you realize how much you AREN'T helping? I had thought that at least half of this community was somewhat supportive, but only a handful of you turned out to be truly kind.
I WAS engaged before we found out, it wasn't something that happened afterward. Justin will always take care of me, and we will always love each other. That won't change, and I don't say that lightly.
Since I have no friends at my school, and I don't plan on going to college (I want to be a stay at home mother), I don't see why you can tell me what I am supposedly going to "miss out" on.
None of you know my exact situations, so don't you DARE go making generalizations about how MY child would have been cared for.
Also, I stated quite some time back about what had occurred HERE on Gnet. This is not the first time I have brought this up, and I have spoken to other members privately about this.
The only thing I regret fromt his whole thing is being foolish enough to think that all I would get were people willing to listen. That is all I wanted from this. I don't give a fuck about attention, Ophelia. I wanted people to talk to. Talking helps; I have no friends locally, so I turned to Gnet.

But go ahead. Ridicule me. Claim that is was for attention. Say it's for the best. Say I was too young to love my child.
I am not ashamed, but you all should be.

badteccy · 10-20-2007, 06:04 PM

Nobody said you were too young to love your child. I'm sorry for what happened, but yea...this def seems like a ploy for attention.