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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 05-07-2007, 07:49 PM   #1
Vako
 
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The Changing of the Guard

Once upon a time, there lived a magnificent race of animals. They
dominated the Earth, age after age. They ran, and swam, and flew, and
built, and explored... and fought. Their glorious creations stretched
across every continent of the Earth. Until suddenly, they abruptly
disappeared. Because there was a sickness that permiated and spread
through the species. Like a virus, it found it's way into the minds of
each and every member of the species. It caused emotional distress,
mental illness, and conflict. The species became divided because each
faction believed that it's faith was superior. Each side chose to
believe that it was favored over the other by a strange new concept.
"Deity".

The species soon forgot all about their true creator and arbiter of
life... Nature. As 2 millenia went by, the average individual within
the species no longer realized that they were of the force that
created them, that they were of and part of their creator. They
believed themselves to be separate and sub-ordinate to their creator.
Nature observed in abhorrence as the intelligent, sentient creatures
it created forgot all about it. They even declared Earth to be
"the domain of Satan".

Each faction of the species became militant and arrogant about their
faith, and conflict escalated. The species even began to believe that
certain members within it had the capability of prophecy. They became
so fixated and obsessed with the idea that certain members of the
species believed that they received messages "from the Deity". As they
became more ingrained, the "prophecy" was recorded and handed from
generation to generation. Their fixation grew so strong, that the
conflict finally escalated into war. They made their own "prophecies"
come true. And with that, Nature looked upon them and realized that it
had made a mistake. Nature chose to give up and start over again. It
allowed the species to incinerate it's self... It allowed the "swords
of armageddon" to finally strike. The clever primates faded away.

...And so, it was not technology that Nature abhorred, or politics, or
even the weapons the species built to protect themselves. It was religion.

Nature started over. This time, with the cephalopods. Millions of
years went by. The cephalopods developed their nervous systems, their
intellects, and their spirits. They ran, and swam, and flew, and
built, and explored... and thrived. Yet in it's omnipotent wisdom and
resilience, Nature corrected it's previous mistake. The minds of the
cephalosapiens shall never be capable of creating religion.

based on/inspired by:

The Future Is Wild
Wargames
Life After Man
The Swords of Armageddon
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Old 05-13-2007, 06:12 AM   #2
Aaroneet
 
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Is this a poem or an epic? It would be better suited for the latter. It's otherwise creative. I could see you as a politically-charged writer. You have potential, but it doesn't lie necessarily in poetry. Write stories. You can be a very powerful writer.
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Old 05-13-2007, 08:20 AM   #3
Vako
 
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Thanks for your kind words. It is not intended as poetry or epic. It is a story.


I apologize
for
the cut and
paste appearence
of the story, but
I cut-and-pasted it
from my hard-drive and It did not come out
the way I hoped it would, which
would be in good English form, divided into paragraphs.
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Old 05-14-2007, 11:19 AM   #4
Raptor
 
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I like it. Why did you choose cephalopods? Their intelligence? Anyway its good
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Old 05-14-2007, 01:01 PM   #5
Elf
 
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Quote:
Yet in it's omnipotent wisdom and resilience, Nature corrected it's previous mistake.
Minor error here, should be “its.”

Overall, I’m amused. I like cephalopods. There’s just some fun ring to phrases such as, “And squid shall inherit the Earth.”
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Old 05-15-2007, 09:58 PM   #6
Vako
 
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Thanks for the pointing that out. I pulled my story and corrected it. Too late to correct it on here, though.
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Old 05-16-2007, 03:06 PM   #7
Elf
 
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Yeah, I was pondering if I should warn people about typos here ... being that there's the 5 minute rule. Although, I figure, that if I typoed something (even in perpetuity) I'd rather I fixed it before I posted it again somewhere else anyway.

On the subject of cephalopods and literature: hast thou e're seen a book called City of Saints and Madmen by Jeff Vandermeer. The city it's set in, Ambergris, they worship squid.
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Old 05-16-2007, 05:07 PM   #8
Vako
 
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I haven't heard of that book. I'll look it up, though. It seems intriguing.
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