"Buddhist recovering Satanist"-Im new here

[Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss]

The name: "Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss" is from Trevor Brown
Currently I'm an Anesthesia Technician so I get to hang out in the Operating room, but I'm not directly responsible for saving a patient's life. Yes I know CPR and well if you are asking CPR for dogs and cats as well. I have an associate's degree in Applied Science and am going back to school for my bachelor's degree in Science, then I can teach future Anesthesia Techs.
I was born and raised in Florida where I was most active in the Goth scene in Tampa - Ybor City (pronounced EE-borh) at the "Castle". I was quite happy being "furniture" there till 9- 11 when, I sought the opportunity to break all the 10 commandments (legally) buy joining the Army and going to war. All I have to say on that matter is I succeeded period, end of story. I recently moved to Texas and since I am no longer in the service I'm wanting to go back to my roots, my "home", if you will.
Charles Lutwidge Dodgson was a phenomenal mathematician and I really enjoyed his photography, but he is most known for is writing under the pin name Lewis Carroll. I have read most of his work, mathematical and fiction. Osamu Tezuka, the godfather of manga, did great graphic novels that I still am collecting. I prefer not to spend too much time on fiction, unless you consider religion, philosophy, and social sciences fiction. "A Dream Within a Dream" is still my favorite Poe poem.
Andy Warhol's "Blood for Dracula" will always hold a place in my heart, probably because I was able to see at the Dali Museum in St. Petersburg Florida. This was a 24hour event showcasing Andy Warhol's work. "Eraserhead" is my "test" film for new associates to see if we are compatible. It really does not matter to me what they say it is all in how they react during the movie. SLC punk came out the year I graduated from high school but it is still my go to movie when I want to laugh. Well that movie and "Pulp fiction" can get me out of a hole, you know so I can go to work. "American Psycho" and "Strange land" play on a regular occurrence at my house. I am proud to say I own a copy of "Nosferatu" with a forward by David Carradine and background music by Type O negative. (They even include a music video of the song "Black #1.)Yes I like the Crow and the Craft, etc but I am not here to prove my "Gothyness". Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal are my favorite to watch with my little Leo.
Weddings and funerals I do not believe in them so no music there. No casket unless it is going to be a bookshelf or coffee table. I believe in cremation but might go for a green burial if my family does not donate my body to science. Worm food at the body farm. On marriage- Justice of the peace worked will for me so I could get more in military benefits and did not have to live in the barracks after training.
Suicide is my plan when I "feel" too old. I'll make a cocktail of pills, slit my throat, and put my head in a noose. This will be in the garage with the car running and the doors all shut and taped. Or, I was thinking of becoming a bank robber in my "80's" and have death by cop. In the mean time I drive too fast so everything is relative.
Nudist when I'm at home, and enjoy Japanese rope bondage, but I guess that is cheating when it comes to the clothing option. So, I would have to say my "tried and true" go to outfit that I can dress up or down is a school girl skirt, and boots. This is with or without fishnets or stockings. Paired with a tank top, t-shirt, corset, bra, or even a bikini top when I was in Florida. In fact I own them in every color but pink. Have some made of plastic and other material in various lengths. I also have boots for every activity in my life except work at the hospital, but I'm looking in to it.
What does anyone miss about being a kid. . . No reasonabilitys and youth. Dressing the way I want when I want is the obvious answer when you work at the hospital. Regardless of what I wear to work I still have to change in to their scrubs and put on my shoes that never are allowed to leave. Boring to say the least. But, at least I still get away with ridiculous red hair that I cover with a surgical cap.
This may sound strange but I made it all the way through Iraq during my war tour of a short six months and had no music device. Instead I sustained myself on lyrical content in my head. The music I cannot get enough of is Tool, Loreena Mckennitt, David Bowie, and most recently Placebo. Again if I said anything like the Cure, Sisters of Mercy, or Bauhaus I would just be pretentious. I know of them I own some, and have frequent a concert but no I did not memorize their or anyone else's work.
Why I would all of a sudden join the board? Funny enough I was secure in my Gothic "status" up until I had my Leo daughter, soon to be three. Now that I have a moment between school and mommy-hood to look up at the world once again I found myself almost alone in this state of Texas when all my friends are still in Florida. I cannot have a Facebook profile I "like" for work/political reasons so I started to look for alternatives. Not interested in promoting or plugging any ideals. Instead, looking for shelter from a close-minded world blinded by their so-called perfection. So, here I am.
If I seem too mother-earth to you or not enough that is because I am a "Buddhist recovering Satanist" trying to undo my bad karma. "Buddhist" as a way of life not a religion, and "recovering Satanist" because: similar to an addict, I do not believe I can ever fully getaway from some of LaVey's philosophy. (Not that I'm trying too hard. . .maybe) This, like all items about me: Does NOT make me right and you wrong or vice versa, simply who I am and where I am coming from.
Items/topics I do/am enjoy/love/found a need for. Scorpio, All things Alice (from wonderland)recycling, sushi, peskatarian, BDSM, bisexual, armature sociologist, non practicing polygamist, open minded, Libertarian (not the political party but the philosophy)and alternative medicine.

[ape descendant]

I would have read your charming introduction.. however climbing that thick wall of text daunted me more than I could handle in the middle of the day.

[ape descendant]

Ok.. my eyes are bleeding a little bit.. however that wall was worth climbing.

You seem like an incredibly interesting person and I look forward to what you have to say about.... anything.

[Razeal18]

i actually read thru a large chunk of that bible and personal suicide , iraqi survival, perception of bauhause as "pretentions, and shibari play. You fit right in! welcom and please don't skimp on the bondage photos

[Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss]

Thank you both so much for your response. I thought someone might get their curiosity primed with "Buddhist recovering Satanist". Sorry it was so long but I did my best to answer the 13Q not be vague or uppity. I hope I'm on my way back home and in the fold of darkness where it is safe to think and live.

[ape descendant]

If your fold is in the darkness.... I've got a fold for ya honey...

[Starke von Oben]

Originally Posted by Adolf Hitler

TODAY it seems to me providential that Fate should have chosen Braunau on the Inn as my birthplace. For this little town lies on the boundary between two German states which we of the younger generation at least have made it our life work to reunite by every means at our disposal.
German-Austria must return to the great German mother country, and not because of any economic considerations. No, and again no: even if such a union were unimportant from an economic point of view; yes, even if it were harmful, it must nevertheless take place. One blood demands one Reich. Never will the German nation possess the moral right to engage in colonial politics until, at least, it embraces its own sons within a single state. Only when the Reich borders include the very last German, but can no longer guarantee his daily bread, will the moral right to acquire foreign soil arise from the distress of our own people. Their sword will become our plow, and from the tears of war the daily bread of future generations will grow. And so this little city on the border seems to me the symbol of a great mission. And in another respect as well, it looms as an admonition to the present day. More than a hundred years ago, this insignificant place had the distinction of being immortalized in the annals at least of German history, for it was the scene of a tragic catastrophe which gripped the entire German nation. At the time of our fatherland's deepest humiliation, Johannes Palm of Nuremberg, burgher, bookseller, uncompromising nationalist and French hater, died there for the Germany which he loved so passionately even in her misfortune. He had stubbornly refused to denounce his accomplices who were in fact his superiors. In thus he resembled Leo Schlageter. And like him, he was denounced to the French by a representative of his government An Augsburg police chief won this unenviable fame, thus furnishing an example for our modern German officials in Herr Severing's Reich.
In this little town on the Inn, gilded by the rays of German martyrdom, Bavarian by blood, technically Austrian, lived my parents in the late eighties of the past century; my father a dutiful civil servants my mother giving all her being to the household, and devoted above all to us children in eternal, loving care Little remains in my memory of this period, for after a few years my father had to leave the little border city he had learned to love, moving down the Inn to take a new position in Passau, that is, in Germany proper.
In those days constant moving was the lot of an Austrian customs official. A short time later, my father was sent to Linz, and there he was finally pensioned. Yet, indeed, this was not to mean "res"' for the old gentleman. In his younger days, as the son of a poor cottager, he couldn't bear to stay at home. Before he was even thirteen, the little boy laced his tiny knapsack and ran away from his home in the Waldviertel. Despite the at tempts of 'experienced' villagers to dissuade him, he made his way to Vienna, there to learn a trade. This was in the fifties of the past century. A desperate decision, to take to the road with only three gulden for travel money, and plunge into the unknown. By the time the thirteen-year-old grew to be seventeen, he had passed his apprentice's examination, but he was not yet content. On the contrary. The long period of hardship, endless misery, and suffering he had gone through strengthened his determination to give up his trade and become ' something better. Formerly the poor boy had regarded the priest as the embodiment of all humanly attainable heights; now in the big city, which had so greatly widened his perspective, it was the rank of civil servant. With all the tenacity of a young man whom suffering and care had made 'old' while still half a child, the seventeen-year-old clung to his new decision-he did enter the civil service. And after nearly twenty-three years, I believe, he reached his goal. Thus he seemed to have fulfilled a vow which he had made as a poor boy: that he would not return to his beloved native village until he had made something of himself.
His goal was achieved; but no one in the village could remember the little boy of former days, and to him the village had grown strange.
When finally, at the age of fifty-six, he went into retirement, he could not bear to spend a single day of his leisure in idleness. Near the Upper Austrian market village of Lambach he bought a farm, which he worked himself, and thus, in the circuit of a long and industrious life, returned to the origins of his forefathers.
It was at this time that the first ideals took shape in my breast. All my playing about in the open, the long walk to school, and particularly my association with extremely 'husky' boys, which sometimes caused my mother bitter anguish, made me the very opposite of a stay-at-home. And though at that time I scarcely had any serious ideas as to the profession I should one day pursue, my sympathies were in any case not in the direction of my father's career. I believe that even then my oratorical talent was being developed in the form of more or less violent arguments with my schoolmates. I had become a little ringleader; at school I learned easily and at that time very well, but was otherwise rather hard to handle. Since in my free time I received singing lessons in the cloister at Lambach, I had excellent opportunity to intoxicate myself with the solemn splendor of the brilliant church festivals. As was only natural the abbot seemed to me, as the village priest had once seemed to my father, the highest and most desirable ideal. For a time, at least, this was the case. But since my father, for understandable reasons, proved unable to appreciate the oratorical talents of his pugnacious boy, or to draw from them any favorable conclusions regarding the future of his offspring, he could, it goes without saying, achieve no understanding for such youthful ideas. With concern he observed this conflict of nature.
As it happened, my temporary aspiration for this profession was in any case soon to vanish, making place for hopes more stated to my temperament. Rummaging through my father's library, I had come across various books of a military nature among them a popular edition of the Franco-German War of 1870-7I It consisted of two issues of an illustrated periodical from those years, which now became my favorite reading matter It was not long before the great heroic struggle had become my greatest inner experience. From then on I became more and more enthusiastic about everything that was in any way connected with war or, for that matter, with soldiering
But in another respect as well, this was to assume importance for me. For the first time, though as yet in a confused form, the question was forced upon my consciousness: Was there a difference -and if so what difference-between the Germans who fought these battles and other Germans? Why hadn't Austria taken part in this war; why hadn't my father and all the others fought?
Are we not the same as all other Germans?
Do we not all belong together? This problem began to gnaw at my little brain for the first time. I asked cautious questions and with secret envy received the answer that not every German was fortunate enough to belong to Bismarck's Reich..
This was more than I could understand.

tl;dr

................

[Razeal18]

that wasnt really neccisary

[Pineapple_Juice]

If you're really looking for 'shelter from a close-minded world', this isn't the place to find it. You have to fit the mold here just like you do everywhere else.

But I like you.

[Saya]

The mold here is pineapple shaped, however.

[Mr E Nigma]

mMMmmMMmMmmm molds

[Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss]

I will not have a to TRY to fit a mold if it comes naturally. I am strange to say the least, or so I have been told on many occasions. I doubt the scene as changed so much that I can no longer blend. But, I am no wall flower who will fade and shy away. I like so many of you, am my own person. I'm not afraid of confrontation, instead I'm more of a devil's advocate. I if I seem wishy-washy it is only because I fight with my self as well as others to see a different point of view. In fact on a number of things I'm a "fence sitter" the "jury is still out" because I'm still taking in new information. So, if my view point changes it is only because I have evolved to hopefully became a better informed human. That is not to say once again "I am right and you are wrong or vice versa, simply who I am and where I am coming from". No worries here I know I'm old school in my hart but new here. That means I have to take my licks like everyone else. It is all fair game and there are no limits.

[Pineapple_Juice]

Originally Posted by Saya

The mold here is pineapple shaped, however.

I can't tell if you're complimenting me or if you just offhandedly called me a self-absorbed, narcissistic, spikier-than-thou fruit.

[Saya]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

I can't tell if you're complimenting me or if you just offhandedly called me a self-absorbed, narcissistic, spikier-than-thou fruit.

I was really tired that night, I can't remember at all what I was thinking when I wrote that. But it was probably meant as a compliment.

[Pineapple_Juice]

That's why I love you.

[KontanKarite]

The only things in that that I found interesting was your professions. Other than that... welcome to the boards bat # 323043452344654

[Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss]

Well if the only Item about me was my profession feel free to put me on your ignore list so you do not have to see my posts. If that pleases you.

[Tam Li Hua]

^ I don't know about anyone else, but my dilemma is that I would -like- to read what you wrote, but that my eyes hurt trying to read so much text so close together.

A space between paragraphs, at least, would be helpful. ^.^;;;

[KontanKarite]

Originally Posted by Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss

Well if the only Item about me was my profession feel free to put me on your ignore list so you do not have to see my posts. If that pleases you.

ARMY - Aren't Really Marines Yet. Amirite?

Anesthesia Tech - Useful

Goth and BDSM - Bwahahahahahaha

Two out of these three things we have some slight commonality in.

[Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss]

What are the 2 things If I may please?

[KontanKarite]

Service members and BDSM retards. In retrospect, there isn't much difference if you think about it.

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

Originally Posted by KontanKarite

Service members and BDSM retards. In retrospect, there isn't much difference if you think about it.

Sure there is, BDSM has a better survival rate and much better uniforms.

[Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss]

If I could Wire myself differently I would but I know what I like and its not vanilla. And , the army thing was also to try to be "straight" and fly that way. All I got was repression no change. If you don't like kink that is who you are or the person you did it with was a "Retard".

[Fruitbat]

I love Loreena Mckennitt's music.

OR tech. I admire that. **shaking in my boots - i hate hosptials**

Donating your body to science is a pretty cool thing to do.

Welcome.

[Li'l Miss Sticky Kiss]

Hospitals are only a problem if you are the patient. It's a control thing for me. Thanks for the greeting!