They can't. They just can't do it...

KontanKarite · 03-15-2007, 02:34 PM

Oh bother...

I'm about to get very live journalish and very classical whinny here.

The folks and people in general... they really can't see beyond the aesthetic. Shame on me for ever being a goth I suppose.

They advocate conformity so much that they simply can't see beyond their own opinions. My dad is the worst. He thinks that if I stop LOOKING like a goth that life would be easier for me. I've fallen in line before. I've known the very heights of conformity and honestly, it pains me to feel that repressed. A pair of blue jeans and a polo tee shirt isn't going to solve anything.

I'm sorry, I can't help it. I feel ridiculous looking common and republican friendly. I mean no offense to republicans with a brain.

They compare me to the angry long haired rednecks of Texas back in the 80s. It's disgusting to be compared to such drivel. IT'S NOT ABOUT OFFENDING OR SCARING ANYONE! It's about me being comfortable in my own fucking skin.

Oddly enough, I just want some support for who I am. But the folks can't do it. My dad did "research" on the gothic sub culture when in all honesty, all he did was read articles on Columbine and propaganda about the gothic lifestyle and what it entails.

Change or perish. That's what they believe is in store for me. What ever happened to having a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?

I do what I do... because I feel confident and beautiful when I do it. I feel I look my best and I feel more at ease with everything.

Maybe I'm wrong somewhere. Maybe life is honestly all about letting go and forgetting what matters to you all for the comfort of other people. I really hope life isn't all about sacrifice.

Underwater Ophelia · 03-15-2007, 06:57 PM

I think life would definitely be easier if you dressed "normally." You wouldn't get stares, it would be easier to get a job, people would be nicer to you, and many other things I can't think of. Sure, you'd still be goth "on the inside" but no one sees your inside.

HumanePain · 03-15-2007, 07:31 PM

What I have found works for me, is to become very, very good at something society needs, then you can be who you are, and dress the way you wish and still be accepted.

I can get away with looking like I do at age 50 because I am willing to fly anywhere, anytime to go on site and resurrect a database or network management system. They need someone to "go into the lion's den" when a complex problem raises it's ugly head and makes Customers and Salesmen start screaming.

KontanKarite · 03-15-2007, 09:00 PM

Well, the thing that irks me most is how they seriously think I don't know how to play the part. They still think I would go to a very important job interview wearing fishnet shirts and Vinyl pants. LoL!

If it were just the aesthetic problem, then they really should support me. I DO know how to adapt without feeling like I'm conforming and people would be none the wiser.

Example: Black slacks, Purple dress shirt, Black tie. Then there's the classic Constantine look with the white shirt and black pants/tie.

Go figure...

Drake Dun · 03-15-2007, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KontanKarite

Maybe I'm wrong somewhere. Maybe life is honestly all about letting go and forgetting what matters to you all for the comfort of other people. I really hope life isn't all about sacrifice.

Any time you start to have serious doubts, have a look at what it is they want you to sacrifice your identity for.

That always clears things up for me.

Drake

KontanKarite · 03-15-2007, 10:28 PM

Good point, Drake. But they want me to do so, just so it's easier to get by. Sadly, they can't see me beyond that. They just don't realize I can play the part...

PersephoneX · 03-15-2007, 10:42 PM

Stop taking notice. I did a looong time ago...

xmorpheus · 03-16-2007, 01:48 AM

Does it really matter? At the end of the day, you don't see eye to eye on something? Welcome to the child/parent relationship. Oh and guess what - when you're 35 and they're 70 there will still be things you don't agree on.

At least they care about you. I'm with Persephonex on this one - stop taking notice. Be polite, nod, and then go about your normal day dressed any way you please.

I'm assuming you still live at home?

Dark Templar · 03-16-2007, 02:56 AM

Don't hide ho you are. Dress like you wants and be your self! It seams like your parents have read all that "Goth's worships the devil and do drugs" crap. Try to tel your parents what you stands for, then things may become easier

Zenit · 03-16-2007, 04:42 AM

Hrm...I wish there were more parents like GothMom. She was nice

Drake Dun · 03-16-2007, 08:16 AM

Oh! I totally forgot to mention this, but it has come up with a couple of other people on here. If you are living at home *with* your parents I have two things to say:

1) Get out sooner rather than later.

2) You have my promise that when you do get out (whether sooner or later) an amazingly large percentage of the difficulty will magically disappear.

If you are still taking money from them, such as for school, then you will notice a significant increase in freedom immediately after moving out, and another one when you stop getting money from them.

Drake

Clockwork · 03-17-2007, 12:15 AM

Ah, but doesn't all this strife make it sweeter at the end of the day, KontanKarite?

Vako · 03-17-2007, 12:56 AM

He who chooses the path of least resistace will arrive at a destination of lesser reward.

BlackDahlia · 03-17-2007, 02:30 AM

If there is one thing I've learned in my short stay on this little blue planet it's NEVER COMPROMISE YOURSELF IN ORDER TO PLEASE OTHERS. Just don't.
If people are put off by you for not conforming to their standards of normality, then that's their friggin' problem, not yours. You're not living in goddamn Stepford. :P

Edward · 03-17-2007, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackDahlia

If there is one thing I've learned in my short stay on this little blue planet it's NEVER COMPROMISE YOURSELF IN ORDER TO PLEASE OTHERS. Just don't.
If people are put off by you for not conforming to their standards of normality, then that's their friggin' problem, not yours. You're not living in goddamn Stepford. :P

I disagree with that in part, be proud of who you are, and be proud of the culture you are part of, for it is a beautiful one, but as far as a job goes, if you need to dress or act differently than you are to hold that job, it has been suggested to act as though work is a play you must preform in, because, like I've said before in previous threads, we can't all be funeral directors and coffin salesmen, some of us need to take part in mundane jobs which are to closed minded for something like the goth culture.

Firestorm · 03-17-2007, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vako

He who chooses the path of least resistace will arrive at a destination of lesser reward.

Explain your logic.

Edward · 03-17-2007, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Firestorm

Explain your logic.

What Vako is saying (I'm pretty sure at least) is that if you just conform entirely to the entire world, and kiss ass, and don't be your own person, you won't get very much out of life, but should you be yourself, and perhaps go threw hardships because of it, then your reward will be great. Kind of like that Robert frost poem, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."

HumanePain · 03-17-2007, 08:39 AM

Well said Edward. (Goes and looks for Robert Frost books...)

Edward · 03-17-2007, 08:43 AM

Back in the old choir days I had to sing that poem, whoever put it to music did a terrible job of it, which was actually half the reason I quit. The other half was the early mornings, Its inhumanly impossible to wake up so early, I already need to get up an hour before I have to leave for school just to do the whole hair/makeup thing.

Firestorm · 03-17-2007, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edward

What Vako is saying (I'm pretty sure at least) is that if you just conform entirely to the entire world, and kiss ass, and don't be your own person, you won't get very much out of life, but should you be yourself, and perhaps go threw hardships because of it, then your reward will be great. Kind of like that Robert frost poem, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."

I am more interested in the logic of Vako's proverb.

Edward · 03-17-2007, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Firestorm

I am more interested in the logic of Vako's proverb.

And thats exactly what I gave you, the topic is on how leaving the goth culture won't make your life any better, except in the way people look at you, and the ease in which you find a job, at which point Vako makes the point that you can conform to society, but its not very rewarding, whereas sticking to your belief's will end with great reward.

MollyMac · 03-17-2007, 09:22 AM

No great rewards was ever given without great challenge. And the easy rewards are often a challenge in and of theselves, or a curse.

No great change was ever brough about by ducking your head and keeping mum.

Underwater Ophelia · 03-17-2007, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

No great rewards was ever given without great challenge. And the easy rewards are often a challenge in and of theselves, or a curse.

No great change was ever brough about by ducking your head and keeping mum.

What about Paris Hilton? She's never done anything in her life worth a damn and she's a billionaire...
It may become a curse, but for now, it isn't. Just a free ride.

MollyMac · 03-17-2007, 10:24 AM

You call her life a great reward? Her life will be an exercise in irony, and no one said financial wealth is a reward. What is it if you are not respected, only fucked?

Edward · 03-17-2007, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

What about Paris Hilton? She's never done anything in her life worth a damn and she's a billionaire...
It may become a curse, but for now, it isn't. Just a free ride.

Oh yeah, cause money is how you gauge a persons charecter, she may be rich, but she is by far the worst human being I can think of thats alive right now, she has never done anything worth squat, and will likely die within the next decade due to massive drug use.