Just a Thought

[triggerhappi26]

I'm aware that posting these thoughts will probably cause massive flaming of not only this post but angry words back and forth between users, though I believe you take that risk when ever you post anything whether it seemed innocent or not, like an introduction for example.

Anyway

What's on my mind is that how much of yourself do you let show online, how vulnerable do your allow yourself to be to people you've never even met? How can you even trust posting something personal?

On the one side there is that easing of pressure in confiding to someone else, but why would someone even do that on the internet, of course it can make sense when family is in a way non existent, or friends are more co-workers than someone you'd actually share something with.

But then when does "confiding" become angst and attention whoring? Is there even away to tell the difference these days?

Then again why would someone even post something that would be personal where just anyone can read it? Why let yourself be vulnerable at all when there are people who would say something to rub salt in that particular wound simply because they want to be an asshole.

However, when at a loss of people in real life to talk to, is it really better to keep the thoughts circling in your own head then to put them out to find a kindness in another person.

Yet with the likelihood of actually finding a kindness and not anger, hatred, or insults, is it even worth seeking some reprieve?

Can anyone even answer these questions informatively and not hurtfully?

[Alan]

I'm the same person in here than in real life. Except that being 'sweet' on the internet is fucking annoying so that does not translate here.

[HumanePain]

There are members who enjoy the ability to become someone different online, and folks like me who are the same as in real life. It is difficult to tell sometimes who is being genuine and who is not.

Of course one must be careful online, and it takes a long time to build trust. That is why myself and others here find Gnet so special: there are still vagabonds passing through, trolls and assholes and whatnot, but a significant part of the member population has been here a while, and after years of knowing each other the trust level goes up significantly between the members of that part of the population.

There are actually people on this forum who have my phone number and address and work place and have even met me face to face or spoken to on the phone, but I also know them, and it is a two way trust that is slowly earned.

Yet, even among the long term population there are people who may not be readily friendly or even courteous, but they are not dangerous either. Well, except for Unimatrix (threats to throw battery acid, but even Xombie has defended her), and maybe Deadman_walking (I would count him as a friend although I find his political views disturbing, as we share a common hobby) but we are slowly bringing him around.

But the insults and anger and hatred come with the territory, and the members here make you work hard to earn it.Think of it as a University; not everyone is going to get in (there is little tolerance for short sightedness and stupidity, which comprises most of the world population) and even if you do your comments had better be well though out or you will still get a verbal kick in the ass (as I still do sometimes when I post after taking my arthritis pain killers! lulz).

Make sense?

[Breathless Horror]

Everyone has to strike thier own balance. Personally, I'm usually pretty much the same online and off. Perhaps a touch friendlier in person, but I blame the number, frequency, and intensity of trolls for that.

Sometimes confiding online can seem easier because while they are, in fact, confiding to a real person, it somehow seems less real. I'll try to give an example. I hate talking on the phone. You can hear someone, but are unable to pick up on all the physical elements of communication. Therefore, to me at least, it seems less like a "real" interaction, but not as inconsequential as, say a text messege. I actually prefer txts to phone calls because they most definitely do not qualify (again, to me) as real interaction, while telephones straddle the line and make me uncomfortable.

And that really didn't help make my theory any clearer, did it? Oh well, hope you got something out of it.

As to the likelihood of finding kindness, all you can do is make sure that you are a source of kindness and compassion. Hopefully others will follow your example. Even if they don't, you've still done the right thing.

[triggerhappi26]

I can understand that, but after lurking the threads, new and old I couldn't help but wonder all of these questions.

I appreciate the well thought answers.

[Breathless Horror]

Originally Posted by HumanePain

There are actually people on this forum who have my phone number and address and work place and have even met me face to face or spoken to on the phone, but I also know them, and it is a two way trust that is slowly earned

Think of it as a University; not everyone is going to get in (there is little tolerance for short sightedness and stupidity, which comprises most of the world population) and even if you do your comments had better be well though out or you will still get a verbal kick in the ass (as I still do sometimes when I post after taking my arthritis pain killers! lulz).

What happened to Maggot? I miss him. And LOL I remember your "Sensous Eating Tips" from the Vicodin a while back. Pure. Gold.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Breathless Horror

What happened to Maggot? I miss him. And LOL I remember your "Sensous Eating Tips" from the Vicodin a while back. Pure. Gold.

OMG that was so embarrassing to read afterwards! I can be such a ditz lulz.

I got a comment posted from Magz on MySpace a few months ago, he is on girlfriend #3 or so, and seemed as happy and handsome as ever. But yeah I wish he would come back.

Some folks outgrow Gnet, but some thankfully don't.

[Frenn]

Originally Posted by triggerhappi26

Then again why would someone even post something that would be personal where just anyone can read it? Why let yourself be vulnerable at all when there are people who would say something to rub salt in that particular wound simply because they want to be an asshole.

I would say (this being a personal opinion) that many people, particularly those that have been posting on message boards for a while, dont feel overly impacted by the personal attacks of others.
Im quite confident that those on this board arent very (goegraphically) close to me, and thus I dont feel a physical threat, which is my primary concern when putting out personal stuff on the interwebs.

Military life also builds rather thick emotional callouses. Public vulnerabilities are (unofficially) discouraged.

[triggerhappi26]

Public vulnerabilities can be discouraged but they still exist I'm sure.

With out that drama queen tone when I say this, with a past that could make a nice soap opera if you just threw in some amnesias and evil half brothers, I'd have to be a robot to not come away with at least SOME soft spots.

But that's just on a personal level can't speak for anyone else.

[Underwater Ophelia]

In real life, I just ignore things that bother me, or I just rant to people I know.
Here I don't do that.

I'm much nicer and excitable in real life.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I'm much nicer and excitable in real life.

And exciting to look at I must add.

[Frenn]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I'm much nicer and excitable in real life.

Actually, Ive been developing a form of online stimulants.
My current method has hit a bit of a wall though. Apparently the very artful pictures of myself aren't cutting it for 123.67% of the online community. Ill keep you all posted on the progress.

[triggerhappi26]

I have an unrelated question,

Why must everything have a flaw?

[HumanePain]

Flaw is subjective. Ask a woman wearing a 2 carat diamond ring. Most diamonds are flawed, but they are still cool.

[Frenn]

because I think perfection is unattainable.

[Saya]

I'm a lot different in real life, I'm not saying I don't care about you guys at all but generally over the internet I'm not too concerned about hurting feelings or saying something stupid, as hard as it is to think that every stupid thing I say will be here for as long as gnet is around. I'm more guarded and quiet in real life.

The difference between confiding and attenion-whoring is pretty easy to tell, if your very first post is about how you want to die because your parents won't let you wear all black, you're an attention whore. If a regular is having issues we're more gentle, but it can become attention whoring when its frequent and over trivial things.

When you post something sensitive there's always the risk of someone being a douche bag about it, but again, its a total stranger who's far away and you'll never meet them. Although I suppose I should be more careful now there's another Newfie, chances are we're related :P

But we've had assholes faking being terminally ill or in comas, while I think we got an okay community here its not something you wanna put your complete trust in.

[triggerhappi26]

I doubt we're related Saya me ducky not even distantly

[Saya]

Its a joke me trout XD Shocking truth: only my mom`s side is newfie, we moved here from Ontario when I was little.

[triggerhappi26]

So what I'm taking away from this is that, if I were to post a thread legitimately asking for a little help, even if it is a sore issue thught there's a good chance for negative posts it's possible to get actually helpful input?

[triggerhappi26]

Well Says if ya can handle some screech or even purity syrup then you're an honorary newfie in my books

[Frenn]

Originally Posted by triggerhappi26

So what I'm taking away from this is that, if I were to post a thread legitimately asking for a little help, even if it is a sore issue thught there's a good chance for negative posts it's possible to get actually helpful input?

Yes.

Should be interesting sifting through the jokes, attacks, and actual help.

[triggerhappi26]

Actually what should be interesting is how to post the issue without giving a life story

[Frenn]

I promise to read the whole post anyways?

or is it too much personal stuffs to put out (for your comfort)?

[JCC]

I'm not much different. Being an asshole on the internet was turning me into an asshole in real life, and as I started trying to escape being an asshole in real life I became less confrontational and smug on the internet. Obviously the 'less confrontational' thing is only in relative terms.

[triggerhappi26]

well I think it's worth th risk of having a personality bashing if I got some helpful input