The main theme of the following bits involve a married couple Margaret & Frank Gray.
First let me introduce you to Margaret.
Margaret "writes" a celebrity newspaper column called "A Little Bird Told Me;" overbearing mother of child actor Jason Jay Delmonico, so named after Margaret saw a package of Delmonico steaks in the supermarket. Margaret wrote a column about how she has been sleeping with her son ever since the "traumatic events" of the 1994 Los Angeles earthquake. Margaret tends to incite callers by blaming any and all of the world's ills on President Bush. She has often "died" in airstrikes called in by Mr. Hendrie when he disagrees with her commentary. She was known as Margaret Selb while Phil was employed in Minneapolis; she was married to Roland Selb, who Phil later split into two characters, Don Berman and Roland Schwinn. In Miami, she was known as Margaret from Bal Harbor.
In this short bit Margaret is talking with a Voluntary Fire Fighter discussing Universal Studios ride Back Draft. While chatting with him she is also typing up here column while she is on the air.
Margaret Gray - Writing Column On The Air
In this bit Margaret talks about how she was molested….by a teacher….when she was 23…and did I mention that the teacher was a college professor….and it gets better….
Margaret Gray - Got Molested
The crux of what I wanted to play for you involves Frank Gray and was from my radio show “The Happy Snout Hour” where I played the best of Phil Hendrie.
Frank is Margaret's husband, who has become a more common character towards the end of Phil’s show. He is an elderly, wheelchair-bound, Cutty Sark-blended scotch drinker who can never find ice, and has trouble using the pronouns he/she/him/her/etc. i.e. "My wife Margaret, he's a real ball-breaker." (Frank) Is quoted saying, "Do you now Al Hert? (Phil) Yea I know him, a she right? (Frank) Hey Margaret this jackass thinks the Al Hurt is a she." (Margaret) He always gets the whole gender thing confused."
Every time Phil greets Frank and asks him how he is doing, he will consistently respond with "Well Phil, I'm vertical"
The gender confusion was given an entirely new dimension of complexity when it was revealed that homosexuals were referred to in the 'proper' gender. An example would be: "Elton John, he's a real piece of work, but Marlon Brando... she was really something else in On the Waterfront."
Some of Frank's other accomplishments: wrote Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head; was the original voice of Mr. Ed; was the first athlete pictured on a Wheatees box; taught Gene Simmons from Kiss how to spit blood; coached Marlon Brando in The Score; and rode Seattle Slew to four victories.
In this particular episode I played 3 bits The American Blind Soccer League, Hal & Viola’s Cheese log and the main crux of the show Frank Gray’s Non-Stop Gender Confusion.
The first bit is a game played the American Blind Soccer League. I think that bit is self-explanatory.
The next bit involves Hal and Viola Levolier
This semi-wealthy retired couple are always in their private plane—listening to Phil whom they absolutely adore — while flying to the only place they ever seem to go — Laughlin, Nevada. Continually fighting each other for control of the plane's telephone, the couple invariably stalls the aircraft and they "die" in a crash after each appearance. Hal frequently shouts out, "You WHORE!," as the plane crashes because Viola forgot to fill the jet with gas.
In this bit the plane is carrying on a little too much weight when the Levolier’s had too much cheese log at Freudly’s.
The last bit is Frank Gray’s Non-Stop Gender Confusion.
I made is especially for “The Happy Snout Hour”. It is all the Frank Gray Gender Confusion bits in chronological order. It all starts out when Frank and Phil were discussing Hollywood & Islamic fascism. Suddenly he mixes up he and she and the fun starts from there.
The Happy Snout Hour (Episode #4 American Blind Soccer League, Hal & Viola - Cheese Log, Frank Gray - Non-Stop Gender Confusion)
Enjoy
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