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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
09-14-2008, 05:02 PM
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#76
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Charlotte
Posts: 476
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wanna hear a dirty joke? Boy fell in the mud. Wah, wah, wah.
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09-15-2008, 03:01 PM
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#77
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Dominican Republic
Posts: 1,423
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This girl was so ugly that when she sended her picture by e-mail it was detctd by the Antivirus! 
__________________
Lady Astor: “If you were my husband, I’d put arsenic in your coffee.”
Churchill: “Madam, if I were your husband, I’d drink it!”
ピラール
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09-19-2008, 03:22 AM
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#78
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 1,921
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Wahahahaha!!!!
I'm drinking coke when I saw that,Noumi
You almost have me choke to death LOL
__________________
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian."
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12-23-2008, 09:49 AM
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#79
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 4,036
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__________________
"I've an idea. Why don't we play a little game. Let's pretend that we're human beings, and that we're actually alive. Just for a while. What do you say? Let's pretend we're human. Oh, brother, it's such a long time since I was with anyone who got enthusiastic about anything."
― Jack Osborne
add me on
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12-23-2008, 09:56 AM
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#80
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,311
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Geoluhread
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Those made me laugh. Thanks. lol
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12-23-2008, 10:23 AM
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#81
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: US
Posts: 1,530
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by crucifix
wanna hear a dirty joke? Boy fell in the mud. Wah, wah, wah.
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Wanna hear a clean joke? Boy took a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear another dirty joke? Bubbles is Micheal Jackson!
Wakka wakka!
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In my nothing you meant everything to me.
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12-23-2008, 10:56 AM
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#82
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Your mother.
Posts: 1,044
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This one's amazing guys:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!
__________________
The Overture To The Symphony Of Destruction.
I am the Antiproduct!
There is, they say, no fool like an old fool - Golding.
" All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting." - Orwell.
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12-23-2008, 11:01 AM
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#83
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: IL, USA
Posts: 754
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AP Wireservice--Poland: A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this morning in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 3000 bodies thus far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening...
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12-23-2008, 02:13 PM
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#84
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Your mother.
Posts: 1,044
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Hahahahaha nice one!
__________________
The Overture To The Symphony Of Destruction.
I am the Antiproduct!
There is, they say, no fool like an old fool - Golding.
" All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting." - Orwell.
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12-25-2008, 04:08 AM
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#85
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 4,036
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A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a
short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The
card said nothing but "Nescafe". Mom was puzzled at first, but then went in the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.
The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding,
and the card said: "Benson & Hedges". Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size". She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean sea. Mom waited
for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a
whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "British Airways".
Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the
pages fearing the worst, and finally found the advertising for British Airways. The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
Mom fainted
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There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes." The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes." The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa
__________________
"I've an idea. Why don't we play a little game. Let's pretend that we're human beings, and that we're actually alive. Just for a while. What do you say? Let's pretend we're human. Oh, brother, it's such a long time since I was with anyone who got enthusiastic about anything."
― Jack Osborne
add me on
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12-25-2008, 05:40 AM
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#86
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Your mother.
Posts: 1,044
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Pwned
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__________________
The Overture To The Symphony Of Destruction.
I am the Antiproduct!
There is, they say, no fool like an old fool - Golding.
" All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting." - Orwell.
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12-25-2008, 10:16 AM
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#87
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 667
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ewwww. heheheeee
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Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
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12-25-2008, 11:02 AM
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#88
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 4,036
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same reaction.. but the joke is very funny
__________________
"I've an idea. Why don't we play a little game. Let's pretend that we're human beings, and that we're actually alive. Just for a while. What do you say? Let's pretend we're human. Oh, brother, it's such a long time since I was with anyone who got enthusiastic about anything."
― Jack Osborne
add me on
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12-25-2008, 04:57 PM
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#89
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Suburbiatown, Pennsylvania.
Posts: 2,124
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Q: How many Rozz Williams' does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: He's dead.
Hah! Never gets old.
__________________
CAN'T EVADE THOSE DEAD ZEN MEN
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12-25-2008, 05:08 PM
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#90
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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12-25-2008, 05:54 PM
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#91
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Suburbiatown, Pennsylvania.
Posts: 2,124
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Q: Who am I? "Fuck you, Malice you bastard. I hate you and no one cares about you. You're just like a troll, but more pathetic for some reason that I haven't figured out yet. You have no friends because I know everything about everyone based on my own half baked opinion!"
A: Necrophagist.
__________________
CAN'T EVADE THOSE DEAD ZEN MEN
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12-25-2008, 10:32 PM
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#92
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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12-26-2008, 01:39 AM
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#93
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Your mother.
Posts: 1,044
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Haunted House
Q: Who am I? "Fuck you, Malice you bastard. I hate you and no one cares about you. You're just like a troll, but more pathetic for some reason that I haven't figured out yet. You have no friends because I know everything about everyone based on my own half baked opinion!"
A: Necrophagist.
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OI, Andy Pandy - you're embarassing yourself. Your joke is THE biggest pile of multicoloured, radioactive piss on this planet.
__________________
The Overture To The Symphony Of Destruction.
I am the Antiproduct!
There is, they say, no fool like an old fool - Golding.
" All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting." - Orwell.
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12-26-2008, 04:19 AM
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#94
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Luxembourg
Posts: 1,138
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A lion is sitting in the jungle and wants to light up a spliff. All of a sudden a rabbit runs up and shouts "fuck drugs, you're coming jogging." So both of them set of deeper into the jungle. A few miles onward, they come across a lemur who's about to drop some acid. The rabbit shouts "fuck drugs, you're coming jogging." So, the three of them set off even further into the jungle. A few miles onward, they come across a gorilla who's about to snort a line of coke. The rabbit pipes up again, "fuck drugs, you're coming jogging." . The gorilla, does his coke, and then wallops the rabbit and knocks him out. The lemur asks "What did you do that for?" and the gorilla replies "Everytime that bloody rabbit is on speed, I have to go jogging...".
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12-26-2008, 05:37 AM
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#95
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Haunted House
Q: Who am I? "Fuck you, Malice you bastard. I hate you and no one cares about you. You're just like a troll, but more pathetic for some reason that I haven't figured out yet. You have no friends because I know everything about everyone based on my own half baked opinion!"
A: Necrophagist.
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4 glasses of mulled wine and a glass of bourbon can even make Necrophagist's posts hilarious.
Hehe... "Andy Pandy..."
Anyway.
Bastard?
He thought I was a chick.
Hahahaha.
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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12-26-2008, 08:44 AM
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#96
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Suburbiatown, Pennsylvania.
Posts: 2,124
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Necrophagist
you're embarassing yourself.
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Actually, I don't believe I am. That would entail a feeling of embarassment which is something that I'm not feeling. Funny that you assume that, though.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Necrophagist
Your joke is THE biggest pile of multicoloured, radioactive piss on this planet.
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So, my joke came from H.P. Lovecraft's bladder?
Also, urine is a liquid. How can it be in a pile? You could have said puddle. That would have been more affective.
__________________
CAN'T EVADE THOSE DEAD ZEN MEN
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12-26-2008, 09:05 AM
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#97
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 667
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.
The Russians used a pencil.
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I knew that one . I found this rather sad , don't know why...
__________________
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
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12-26-2008, 09:06 AM
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#98
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Haunted House
So, my joke came from H.P. Lovecraft's bladder?
Also, urine is a liquid. How can it be in a pile? You could have said puddle. That would have been more affective.
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Don't be to happy about it.
There can't be many piles/puddles of radioactive piss on the planet for it to compete with...
;]
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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12-30-2008, 05:20 PM
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#99
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Between Fascination and Fear
Posts: 1,116
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George Bush is sitting at his desk, when he calls in his secretary to hear some news. He proudly presents his completed jigsaw puzzle, and says, "Look! The box said 3-5 years, but I did it in 2 months!"
__________________
"I am a citizen of the universe!"
- Porucík Servadac, Na Komete (1970)
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12-31-2008, 07:15 AM
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#100
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Suburbiatown, Pennsylvania.
Posts: 2,124
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Elysiume
George Bush
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I think ^that^ alone could have been posted here with the same results. Hah.
__________________
CAN'T EVADE THOSE DEAD ZEN MEN
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