The Male order Bride

Eric and Jill are inside their house fighting each other. The fight gets crazy. Names are being called. Things are being thrown at each other.
(The actors are free to have fun with this part.)

Eric: Hey! Watch IT!

JILL: You took the best years of my life! My friends were right about you. I knew something was up when my cat hated you you. But no, I had to give it away because you were allergic!

ERIC: Well, if...