A Thread of Poetry ( Only Post Poetry HERE!! ) - Page 40

03-21-2006, 08:44 AM

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Creator's Lament

Somewhere between
you and i
the words are lost
that may someday define
this place
in which we now find
ourselves alone
by design.

March 19, 2006
----------

i know i could have bloated this piece with adjectives and adverbs, synonyms, and even a few antonyms. But this is exactly

what i wanted to say. No filler words. Nothing "pretty".

Now, if only i could come to terms with this design.

Paper_Wings · 03-21-2006, 09:24 PM

This is certainly not my best peom but I thought I would use it as a first. It is unfinished still so i'm not sure what to add to it.Constructive criticsm is very welcome and I am looking forword to it. This is called : "BLUE BELL".

I was once an angel...
but the wings I grew refused to carry me
so I let them go,
and added another feather to the sky,
so I could watch them fall with night.

the feathers in the sky are supposed to represent the stars. It's kind of short and not that great but I just was wondering what people thought and what I should add or take away from it.

Paper_Wings · 03-22-2006, 03:39 PM

Thanks and I think I'll take your advice. It might take me a while to actually finish it though. By the way, would you mind if I put something similiar to the line you did, in the final copy? ( the title was supposed to be her name, I think)

emeraldlonewoulf · 03-22-2006, 08:53 PM

Converted Kind

Wolfish fire behind the eyes,
a keener sense of stormy skies,

an innate knowledge of sound, of sight,
a seventh sense within the night,

time supspended in your mind,
only now comprehend your kind,

no future conception, remembrance past,
solely instinct at the last,

the transformation fate deems meet,
metamorphose now complete,

a fresh perspective on my soul dawns,
unprecedented existence spawned,

a life of freedom, nay, of grace,
a different awareness of simple space,

freer senses I now possess,
exuberant emotion I must confess,

first few steps, an initiation,
realize spirits' imagination.

What does it bring to mind? Comments and criticism appreciated.

TwistedKitsune · 03-23-2006, 02:02 AM

The clouds were nifty, so I wrote about them

Clouds:
Velveteen, dark-bottomed, and smooth
White tope billowing up, reaching towards the blue sky
lined up to meet the horizon
spent of rain, and ever marching onwards.

Wise Child · 03-23-2006, 05:51 AM

Okay, here's my latest rambling. In case it's unclear, she turns into a doll. Random, I know. Sigh.

Once upon a time lived a real live Girl,
Of Flesh and Blood and Bone;
Feelings flowed through her, like rivers of the Heart,
And her Thoughts were all her own.
They tripped off her tongue, she was Candour’s Child
And nothing would stay unspoken;
The real live Girl was like the membrane of an Egg:
Fragile, but, as yet, Unbroken.

The Girl had a Mother, the Mother tried
To teach her Right from Wrong;
Told her, “nice Girls wait ‘til they’re married – sooner better
Because they don’t stay Pretty for long.”
She taught her not to steal, cheat, sleep around,
And to always tell the Truth,
To do her Homework and say her Prayers
And obey all the necessary Rules.

A few years later, the Girl met a Boy
And started to paint her Face;
He called her Pretty, and she loved the word
Because it meant she had found her place.
And she hung her Dress in his Bedroom
And made him the locus of her Dreams;
Then she set about doing everything he asked -
And she learned what Plaything means.

And over the years, her Eyes turned to Glass
And her Joints became wooden and stiff;
And her Guts turned to plastic, and her Heart turned acrylic
And her Mind became a monolith.
And her Children set her on a shelf to one side
Because she couldn’t come and play;
She watched their growth with dead Button Eyes,
As they slowly grew away.

And now she sits on a lonely Shelf
Unable to walk to the door;
She remembers when she was a real live Girl
Like the Children who play on the floor.
She sits there, immobile, envying
The carefree ease with which they move,
And rolling her blue Eyes open and shut
As all the pretty Dollies do.

Shi'ark · 03-23-2006, 07:05 AM

That was deep, and I’m not often moved to words with out music behind it.

TwistedKitsune · 03-23-2006, 10:05 AM

I should refrain from posting my poetry at like, two in the morning, I make typos. It's not supposed to be tope dears, it's tops, silly me found the "e" instead of the "s".

Also, Wise Child that poem is deep and wonderful and if it were a person (it has so much substance, it almost seems as such) I would hug it.

Wise Child · 03-23-2006, 10:19 AM

Awww, thanks for the compliments guys! *hugs TwistedKitsume instead* C'mere, you.

TwistedKitsune · 03-23-2006, 11:22 AM

Yay! Hugs! *hugs and offers "hellz yeah, your peom rocks!" cookies*

Lost_Eclipse · 03-24-2006, 06:51 PM

This one isn't that long...

A lifeless body lay on the floor,
She was my love who I gave everything for,
shot by someone who will never pay,
next to you I now lay,
my heart screams in pain,
outside it begins to rain,
razorblades come to mind,
lovers in life & death is what they'll find,
blood begins to flow,
funeral bells will toll,
you awaken barely alive,
in me is no life,
crying you too grab the blade,
together our memories will fade,
in you now is no life,
hand-in-hand we go into the afterlife...

Rasputin · 03-25-2006, 03:22 AM

SOLA

a moon rising in the east Upwards on the horizon,
The light in the eyes of the Believers in Truth.
The month of november is the brilliance of our Faith.
Your message, O abbot, of humanity and injustice
is imprinted on our souls.
O Martyrs! bastards! beaten inside your hearts! Your clamours echo in the ears of time:
Enduring, continuing, eternal,
in The graveyard somewhere in the night.

psychopenguin · 03-25-2006, 07:55 PM

Soul Reaver-Let me know what you think of this.. I've been trying to improve it because it just sounds unfinished to me...

I'll steal your soul
I'll invade your dreams
I'll destroy your life
Just to hear you scream.

The terror in your voice
Is music to my ears
And though you try to hide
I can smell your fears.

In the blackest black of night
You may hear the scream
Of another beneath my spell
Trapped in my terrible dream.

Do not try to save them
For what you try to do
Will damn you to my realm
And you will do as I do.

A life of lonliness and pain
Will be yours forever
Hell will be your only home
Death your only lover.

So stay distant from me
And don't you tempt my wrath
For I am unforgiving
To those who stand in my path.

corporalaccident · 03-25-2006, 09:23 PM

they make the bullets that i use
my mouth is my gun, and my words can kill
just remember when this is over
i met the Devil, and he has wings like mine

if heaven is as cold as they say,
i might as well take advantage of your breath while i can
there's nothing in this everything
and as my candle winds down your clock flickers short.
He said there was nothing he could do about the light,
so petal to lip i drew it cordially
and nothing could have been better than that line

i could marry your language

or just breathe
slow down dear oracle, i'll create a better promise
as long as your factory keeps producing the masses
melodious effigies of lore and day dream forever surrendered in chaos.
It's obvious you're shutting down,
but don't let the drifter interfere with your immense probabilities.

it's clear at this point i'm labeled Ever
so letters spilled and scrambled together
just remember when this is over
i met the Devil, and he has wings like mine.

ennui · 03-27-2006, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wise Child

Okay, here's my latest rambling. In case it's unclear, she turns into a doll. Random, I know. Sigh.

Once upon a time lived a real live Girl,
Of Flesh and Blood and Bone;
Feelings flowed through her, like rivers of the Heart,
And her Thoughts were all her own.
They tripped off her tongue, she was Candour’s Child
And nothing would stay unspoken;
The real live Girl was like the membrane of an Egg:
Fragile, but, as yet, Unbroken.

The Girl had a Mother, the Mother tried
To teach her Right from Wrong;
Told her, “nice Girls wait ‘til they’re married – sooner better
Because they don’t stay Pretty for long.”
She taught her not to steal, cheat, sleep around,
And to always tell the Truth,
To do her Homework and say her Prayers
And obey all the necessary Rules.

A few years later, the Girl met a Boy
And started to paint her Face;
He called her Pretty, and she loved the word
Because it meant she had found her place.
And she hung her Dress in his Bedroom
And made him the locus of her Dreams;
Then she set about doing everything he asked -
And she learned what Plaything means.

And over the years, her Eyes turned to Glass
And her Joints became wooden and stiff;
And her Guts turned to plastic, and her Heart turned acrylic
And her Mind became a monolith.
And her Children set her on a shelf to one side
Because she couldn’t come and play;
She watched their growth with dead Button Eyes,
As they slowly grew away.

And now she sits on a lonely Shelf
Unable to walk to the door;
She remembers when she was a real live Girl
Like the Children who play on the floor.
She sits there, immobile, envying
The carefree ease with which they move,
And rolling her blue Eyes open and shut
As all the pretty Dollies do.

I very much like some of the imagery you used in this poem and of course the message is clear. Have you ever read Barbie Doll by Marge Piercy? It was a favorite of mine in college and has the same sentiment. powerful stuff...

Barbie Doll - Marge Piercy

This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.

She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.

In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.

evilnecro0 · 03-28-2006, 08:55 AM

this is a good poem.

Rasputin · 03-28-2006, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lost_Eclipse

This one isn't that long...

A lifeless body lay on the floor,
She was my love who I gave everything for,
shot by someone who will never pay,
next to you I now lay,
my heart screams in pain,
outside it begins to rain,
razorblades come to mind,
lovers in life & death is what they'll find,
blood begins to flow,
funeral bells will toll,
you awaken barely alive,
in me is no life,
crying you too grab the blade,
together our memories will fade,
in you now is no life,
hand-in-hand we go into the afterlife...

good poem! it shows death or during the funeral rites.

03-28-2006, 10:04 PM

(Warning: Long fucking poem ahead)
i was never really happy with this poem, some lines could use some revision.

This was written for a contest on either deviantart.com or allpoetry.com (i dont recall, it was almost four years ago).

The contest rules simply stated that they wanted a dark poem exactly 666 words long. The darkness couldn't be a cutter/slasher poem. Had to be cerebral.

i took the 666 theme a step further: Each line in all of the three line tercets is six syllables long, along with the required word length.
----------
L'ange Tombe

.I.
Tonight I try to know
a tale needs must be told
of fallen angels' souls

*-*

shadows spiralling down
into my inner core
life lies not in these hands...

this waking dream fulfills
her maddened prophecy
in those crimson stained sands.

you have learned what is life
aeons before you were born,
with life comes love and hate...

with love comes hurt and pain,
yet your soul can endure
as a Servant to Fate.

you will mend broken souls
all the while your own falls
into the dark abyss...

i felt the rocky floor
of the void which she spoke
pain found me with a kiss.

quite gently the darkness
lovingly enveloped
caressed from the unseen...

stripped of flesh and deboned
i stood firm under wings
revelation's last dream.

here where all time stood still
life thrived on hate inside
no fear to seek my Night...

the Voodoo Knights parade
in procession with me
hearing screams of the Light.

.II.

my humanity fades
as fantasy invades
in mental time and space.

*-*

have i danced with satan
in the dark recesses
of memories escapes?

did i really touch her hand
utterly cold alone
thinking of future rapes?

did i whisper the words
sweet necrophilia
into her silent ear?

can i dance with your soul
in my dark fantasy?
here nothing is to fear.

i ran along the edge
devouring flesh of man
forever blood stained hands...

trying to tear away
the image of their God-
His skin and His demands.

with sharp nails against skin
she dug deep to find it
a true Love sick as mine...

driving in me through me,
slipping on faults are gone
slowly carving new lines.

my demonization
full and now complete
she then was just a fuck...

so she left one cold night
but never did look back,
yet i never looked up.

.III.

darker still my soul turned
the virgin's blood i yearned
her marks on my skin burned.

*-*

i remembered her words
one night softly whispered
i'm never going to leave...

those nights i see her throat
begging to be tasted
she comes again to breathe.

those nights i see her throat
pleading to be tasted
she ran again to...flee...

and so i sit to wait
lifetimes blurring away
torn in fantasy.

i knew you couldn't live
life like i once showed you-
you're so fucking weak now...

remember the words carved
on your forsaken soul
forget His disavow.

pretend to know me not
when the thirst eats your soul
remember the word prey...

the voices that seep through
from the darkness below
all they want is to play.

sometimes they came to watch
curled in the dark corners
within my mind they spoke...

while the blade was dripping
the life's last tears they smiled
the sight of my soul broke.

.IV.

the scars that remain show
the hate to me i've grown
a life i should not know.

*-*

the things inside i saw
haunting visions of pain
mere scenes from dreams i thought...

the stains never came clean
i can't look at my hands
memories of which i sought.

in silence and night i sit
restraints all around me
except the place we dwell...

they can never find us
hidden deep within me
my very own dark hell.

i tried to run to find
our final hidden truths
the end tastes oh so sweet...

dirt fell into our grave
before this time i died
i Loved life's last defeat.

did i really deny
the stench coming in from
the darkened forest's keep?

did they find the secret
buried in the damp soil
waiting for her lost sleep?

i tried to hide to seek
paths of the Forsaken
only to find my lies...

turn away to within
it's too cold to live here
too alone for my cries.

.V.

the restraints force me still
alone now i can't feel
your last breath i can steal.

*-*

i am real, in your soul
i am those thoughts you hide
i still breathe...i'm still free.

8-11-02
----------
i think i got third for this piece lol.

evilnecro0 · 03-29-2006, 05:46 AM

Here is a poem that my friend wrote:
(I think it is good)

*Twins*

Both of them,
Mirror images of the other.
But in their hearts they are opposites.
wanting to show the world their differences,
their ways,
their interests
and who they are.

Judge by many for
one is quiet,
the other bold.
One is shy
the other just out their.
Both alike,
but opposites all the same.

One gets hurt,
the other feels the pain.
One is sad,
and the other weeps.
Both connected in a way unlike any other.

Always in the others shadow
expected to be like the other.
No one realizing,
or just not caring,
that these two may be the same on the outside,
but they are different at heart.
For that is what twins are.

By: Christine Vanek

Paper_Wings · 03-29-2006, 08:02 PM

takejo, that peom was awsome! You are extremly talented and I liked how long it was (I tend to like long poems).

leviathanbleedingblack · 03-30-2006, 09:06 AM

Coal Eater

Black ashes
Flake from her eyes
A light and charred rain of burnt tears
Burnt tears of mercury

They stand out
Like pierced tongues and mohawks
On her white hot cheeks

Everytime I kiss you
I kill
I need to kill you
All night long

Coal Eater

She's a monster
A beast
A dove of flame and sadistic magnetism
She will eat your mind

Her hair is liquid fire
It streams down across her diamond white shoulders

Her smile is embers
Addictive, the sizzle and hiss of a fresh needle
A fire woman

Coal Eater

Everytime I kiss you
I kill
I need to kill you
All night long

My heart burns with her smoke
Clouds my eyes
Lust boils out of her skin
Her nails sear my flesh
I need her

Her song is the breath of a dragon

Paper_Wings · 03-30-2006, 04:05 PM

This piece was not by me but I found it and thought it was pretty good. This was by a poet named James McNeil:

My little pieces of worm cloth, serrated at the lips,
I thread you back together in pieces of atrophy.

My welcome milk touch, rotting under that thin layer of
fabric see-through in adornments of surrender.

My doll’s eyes, blackened out with a blunt instrument,
leaving smears of mascara around the pure white rims of bleakness.

My harrowing wind tunnel of bonnet sacrifices, laying you out and
leaning you against the wall where you sit.

My fingers working the knots on your arm sheaths,
restrain your torso limbs so you cannot struggle;

if you run you will only trip for lack of balance
like a trapeze whore folly.

My bloody dirty fingernails work the twine into your lips,
close up your mouth so you can no longer scream.

Your eyes would cry out in terror,
and thus their removal.

evilnecro0 · 03-30-2006, 07:31 PM

this poem is not by me but by my favorite poet (who's name escapes me):

With nice little twist,
I slit my wrist...

Not waiting life to kill,
rather my own blood I spill...

It's my own choice, I have no fears,
only pain, in eyes some unshed tears...

On the floor, blood making stains,
slowly releasing me from my pains...

Bloody stains, stains like in my soul,
caused by all the pain, this life so foul...

Vision finally fading away, soon it's all done,
staring darkness, oh so black, soon it's all gone...

Soon I'm released, free from this pain,
suffering and life, it was all just in vain...

Thought, funny how blood makes difference between life and death,
farewell life, so painful, so useless, gonna take my last breath...

evilnecro0 · 04-02-2006, 10:13 PM

thats a good haiku

Magpie_Tendencies · 04-02-2006, 11:13 PM

Evilnecro0 - Have you done an introduction? Cos I looked and I couldn't find it...

By the way, I like your avatar.

Xng - Your hiaku is really beautiful. Except I have a fear of spiders, so it kind scares me. I used to have nightmares of being caught in a spider web...