How old!? :D - Page 3

Ben Lahnger · 03-03-2006, 06:21 AM

As I've said recently in another thread, one of my new philosophies in life is: "Age ain't nothin' but a number, baby!'

Or, as a friend of mine once said, "It's not the years that matter, but the mileage!"

But seriously, I know people who are older than I am and haven't learned much about life and how to get along with others ... they haven't grown any in decades. Some people reach a point in life where they think they know everything they need to know ... they kinda get stuck. And I believe once you are no longer capable of change, you're already as good as dead.

Three things will make age irrelevant to you:

1) Always be open to new experiences, knowledge and change.

2) Always strive to get better at treating your fellow man as you would like to be treated.

3) Within the constraints of those two rules, be as good to your mind and body as you can.

Oh, and yes, it is absolutely true that sex gets better with age. The Act has transformed for me from five or ten minutes of furtive, rushed heat and quick fireworks to sessions of long, langorous, deliberate explorations that can last hours as my partner and I ride great waves of build-up and sessation, enjoying long peaks of passion and pleasure that so outweigh those early urgent couplings that I can't even explain the difference with simple words ... but I better stop before I have to jack this thread to "Sexuality"!

Ben Lahnger · 03-03-2006, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maggot

Ben, you from the First Generation? I mean, you are 47 and all.

Yep! Alice Cooper rulez! Heh, man, I was once so embarassed to have liked him ... but, hey, "I'm Eighteen" still rocks. "Welcome To My Nightmare", indeed. Also Black Sabbath, The Clash, The Ramones, The Damned and The Sex Pistols. And "A Clockwork Orange" amd "Harold and Maude" and other strange and dark 60's and 70's things.

Actually, before I was aware of any kind of culture, I loved Edgar Allen Poe ... not just for the mastery of his work, but for the dark, twisted, tormented outlook of his mind. Ditto for Alfred Hitchcock, Stanley "Dr. Strangelove (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb)" Kubrick, Gahan Wilson, Charles Addams, Rod Serling, Leslie Stevens and Harlan Ellison. My Mom was a lifelong science fiction lover and Star Trek fan from the first day the show went on the air, so she always allowed us kids to explore things that would have horrified the mothers of other kids we knew. "Thank you, Mom!"

But people definitely get to be a lot more stylish now than then.

Iriacynthe · 03-03-2006, 07:17 AM

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a 30 year old woman. She told me about all the funny adventures her children have in school. Suddenly, she asked me to which school my children go.

I'm 18.

I felt very, very old.

Ben Lahnger · 03-03-2006, 09:01 AM

I think this sample idiotic coment along with the "How not to be an idiot" essay could be valauble part of "For the Newbies".

Nicely done, Disfunction!

Ben Lahnger · 03-04-2006, 07:11 AM

I found this in my email this morning. It seems to fit this thread, and it made me laugh, so here it is:
________________________________

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today . They got it easy...

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music,you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

And talk of about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to steal it from your brother or bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! ! ;We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire .. imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that Stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,

The 30 Something crowd

Tall One In Black · 03-04-2006, 08:00 AM

Ben,
Thanks for the laugh. And the cry.

Now, where did I put my bifocals? It's time for my Geritol.

pitseleh · 03-04-2006, 08:20 AM

Hah, that made me smirk too! Granted, I'm only three months shy of 26, but since Norway in the 80's was a bit behind the US as far as technology was concerned, I can relate to that list.

Your e-mail inbox is a much funnier place than mine, Ben. Thanks for sharing.

Deviant Kitten · 03-05-2006, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

I still don't have caller ID, and I hate not knowing who's calling! Half the time it's a bloody telesalesman, then you get all the wrong numbers... *walks off grumbling like an angry old person*