the Corrupted Wishes game

[spookypurple]

Granted. You will now be flown anywhere by a blind guardian.

I wish I didn't worry so much.

[spookypurple]

Originally Posted by roserougesang

Your feet grow narrower but your stomach swells up to an enormous size, unbalancing you.

I wish my cat would stop shedding everywhere.

Granted. Your cat will now collect its little bundles of fur and shove them in your mouth as you sleep, so that when you awake, coughing, it will stand over you will its little paws on its little feline hips, saying "Ha, now you know what it feels like!"

I wish I liked apples.

[roserougesang]

Originally Posted by spookypurple

Granted. Your cat will now collect its little bundles of fur and shove them in your mouth as you sleep, so that when you awake, coughing, it will stand over you will its little paws on its little feline hips, saying "Ha, now you know what it feels like!"

I wish I liked apples.

Gah, I already have a cold, I don't need to suffocate more in my sleep...

You start to like apples but your favourite food becomes inedible to you, you break out in hives just looking at it.


I wish to be immune to all illness.

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but now air is poisonous to you (like, instant death)

I wish I had a (human) sized katana

[roserougesang]

The katana becomes possessed by the spirit of its previous owner (a bloodthirsty warmonger) and chases you around, attempting to chop you in half.

I wish I could write like Shakespeare.

[spookypurple]

Granted. Chantelle Shakespeare. She's the bleach bimbo who works at the groovy clothes shop at the mall and write signs like "Clearence Sale Now On", and "Food must not be Bought in the shop." and other such literary gems.

I wish I could breathe water.

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but you can only breathe Evian water

I wish I had a better computer

[spookypurple]

Granted. It's a human brain in a jar.

I wish my camera battery never ran out.

[NachtSorcier]

Granted, but batteries become your only source of electricity. No outlets for you.

I wish people would quit calling on the phone and not answering.

[nuksaa]

Granted. Now everyone answers singing Milli Vanilli's "Girl You Know It's True".

I wish the one who put the dent in my car dies a horrible death.

[angel011]

Granted, but he/she comes back from the grave and puts another dent on your car.

I wish to write more stories (yup, I'm being lazy again).

[Morrigan_Dubh]

Granted. They die a horrible death by putting an even bigger dent in your car with their skull when coincidentally you run them over. You are convicted of manslaughter and given 15 years in jail. While inside, you become the bitch of a butch trick named Marcellus and fall in love. But Marcallus is freed on parole before you, and he never visits you. You die of a broken heart, alone in your cell.

I wish I had the nerve to go to my local goth nightclub alone.

[NachtSorcier]

Granted, but once you get there you find it's been taken over by Mansonites that very night and you'll never be able to get Alanis Morissette's "Ironic" out of your head for the rest of your life.

(In case that requires some explaination, the Mansonites wouldn't be playing "Ironic" of course, but the fact that you finally got up the nerve to go and it was taken over will remind you painfully of that song.)

I wish it weren't so cold in my house.

[nuksaa]

Granted. However, on your way home, a pedophile with his 12 year old VF stooge target you as the object of their affection. Once they are done 'playing' with you, you are bagged in a nondescript, black plastic trash bag and thrown in a dumpster. Fear not for you are not alone. The dumpster happens to belong to the local abortion clinic.

I wish I had a 1969 Mopar GTX.

[nuksaa]

Originally Posted by NachtSorcier

Granted, but once you get there you find it's been taken over by Mansonites that very night and you'll never be able to get Alanis Morissette's "Ironic" out of your head for the rest of your life.

(In case that requires some explaination, the Mansonites wouldn't be playing "Ironic" of course, but the fact that you finally got up the nerve to go and it was taken over will remind you painfully of that song.)

I wish it weren't so cold in my house.

Granted. The earth opens up and your house is sent to hell. Bring the marshmallows and chocolate.

I wish I had a 1969 Mopar GTX.

[spookypurple]

Granted. It's a toy.

I wish I had perfect teeth.

[Morrigan_Dubh]

Granted. But you didn't specify perfect human teeth. You now have perfect whale teeth. You can sift krill from sea water like a pro but you can't eat salt water taffy anymore. Or anything that isn't krill. You die of shame and starvation.

I wish I was going on holiday tomorrow.

[spookypurple]

Granted.

Here are two open-return tickets to the Polar Ice-caps. Take your waders.

I wish I was taller.

[angel011]

Granted; you turn into Godzila.

I wish I had a husky.

[spookypurple]

Granted. You have a husky - it's your voice. You now sound like you've gargled half a pint of nails.

I wish I had webbed feet.

[nuksaa]

Granted. However, the web is from a black widow which has made a nest in your feet, has bitten you and you die due the inability to make to a phone to call 911 (tripped on the webbing)

I wish Tool would conduct a live performance on my front lawn.

[Dreaming Vendetta]

Granted.
The music is great but the fans pillage your house and trample you into an unrecognizable pulp of bones and skin.

I wish I didn't have allergies.

[Sobeh]

Granted. You don't have allergies.... or a nose. In fact, the whole olfactory part of your brain becomes vestigial. Your freakish appearance leads you to shame and social stigma until you find useful work plunging sewage pipes and scraping them out. This leads to the inspiration for your groundbreaking novella Phantom of the Opera II: The Intermission Emissions, but your inability to successfully submit a draft due to the pervasive stench leads you into a downward spiral of depression and insanity, eventually culminating in a suicide of rather pustulant proportions.

I wish I had already graduated.

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but it's from the school of Medieval Beer Drinking, and you die a broke and very drunk man

I wish I had a human brain in a jar

[mutsumiasakura]

You do . . . and it's yours. You are now a brainless vegetable. Have a nice life.

I wish that someone else would write my midterm.