Rant Thread

[TeapotScar]

What do you do when you just feel like shit?

*broken teapot*

[gingerbreadwench]

I'm sorry you feel bad, teapot. We all have days like that. Just curl up in the covers, have a cup of tea (no pun intended)... or hell. Just have a good cry. Tear something up, hit some things... get it all out.

I hope you feel better, sweetie.

[TeapotScar]

Thanks GBW... bleh... I'm sure I'll feel better if I go to sleep and wake up or something.

Even in shit-mood-mode, I'm still kinda excited for your birthday :wink:

[secretboy]

My life has taken some difficult turns recently. I actually did a really long post and deleted it just a few moments ago. I don't think anyone read it.

But it's come to my attention one more time, something that affected me a few years ago, and is just as striking now.

Back a while ago, when I was sad and confused but my life was basically okay, I felt really fucking upset about these supposedly trivial things.

Now, I have 'legitimate' things to be upset about, and my life feels about the same. Indeed, I feel like I have all this experience dealing with issues, that it all seems pretty easy in comparason, despite my friends saying "Wow, Seth, you have it rough these days."

It's weird how that works. Anyways, off to bed.

[Sadderstar]

I don't know if there is a "My boyfriend is an ass hole" thread, but I figured that here was just as good a place as such a thread rant about a "My boyfriend is an ass hole" thing. And maybe I'm over reacting to it because my dad was abusive and things, not even bad things sometimes, make warning bells go off in my head. And maybe I'm not over reacting, maybe I'm right.

First things first though, he is a year and a half younger than myself, which puts him at 16 and right now, that age difference may be small in years but huge cognitively speaking, especially since he has had a very normal, encouraging homelife thus far. But anyway, I'm ranting because my boyfriend is, at the moment of my writing this, at another girls house watching a movie with her. Of course he's known this girl for...two years? And I've known her for a year or so. Mostly, I like her and am not worried about my boyfriend hanging out with her. But, that still doesn't make what he's doing entirely okay becuase....he's not only being disrespectful by doing this (because, well, it's another girl, even if he trusts her and I have no troubles with her, it still doesnt make it okay) but also placing a double standard into the relationship. It's not okay for me to go hang out with my guy friends like that and on the few occaisions my female friend, that I've known for seven years, has asked me to go drinking with her, said boyfriend forbade me from going, even as a designated driver. Yet, for some reason, I'm supposed to be okay with him driving around in the middle of the night with said girl, getting high, and then him going to her house to watch movies.

Now, either he is a) very very bad at cheating, b)a boyfriend that lacks regard or empathy for my feelings, c) just a plain ol' bad boyfriend, or d) incredibly rude and naive.

And this isn't the frist time these things have caused problems. Not only does he not take me anywhere (And I don't mean out to dinner or anything, though that is rare anyway, I'm talking about little get togethers and stuff), he also doesn't keep the plans he makes with me. For example, once we had decided to go fishing. I hired a babysitter to watch my siblings with money I couldn't really afford to spend on a babysitter, got out poles and made sure they were in working order. I got everything ready and when I got there, he was still in bed and said "I'm too tired baby, let's go fishing some other time."

Dunno. maybe I'm just over reacting a little...maybe not. But either way, his lack of regard for my feelings makes me wonder about the worth while of this relationship.

[gingerbreadwench]

I absolutely cannot fucking stand holding my tongue. It is just so hard to be nice sometimes. I'm a blunt person, very blunt actually, but I do worry about offending people sometimes. At these times I find it really hard not to say something. I've found that if I don't like someone, it's better to just ignore them. It took me a while to figure that out, but I'm still not sure which is worse... giving someone the cold shoulder or just telling them that they're an assface. I seem to always make the wrong choice.

[TeapotScar]

GBW- If you don't like them, chances are they don't deserve to walk on the same Earth as you. I support any decision you make, especially if it involves a machete and chocolate chip cookies... but seriously, don't worry too much about hurting people you don't like. Some people deserve punishment. Hell, even if they don't, it's good for people to deal with the emotions that blunt-ness inspires.

I'm blunt, too, and I find that the people who I surround myself rock. If you continue blunt-ness, I'm sure this will be what you find, too.

But don't be stressed- it's almost your birthday!!!! It'll be sad to be 17 without you, but I'll be 18 soon enough.

Well, you wrote an awesome reply to my rant... I hope this helped?

[gingerbreadwench]

Awwww, thanks Teapot. That was quite encouraging. I've got the machete, but I'm out of chocolate chip cookies. Will peanut butter do? I know it's not quite the same, but at least it's better than Oreos...

[TeapotScar]

Originally Posted by gingerbreadwench

Awwww, thanks Teapot. That was quite encouraging. I've got the machete, but I'm out of chocolate chip cookies. Will peanut butter do? I know it's not quite the same, but at least it's better than Oreos...

I just don't know GBW... is it chunky or smooth?

[punkirony]

And this day did in fact arrive. The day that Jessie will accept the muzzle that was handed to her. Give up? Shut up? *pondering*

Still pondering.

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

[ohthefuckwell]

sadderstar:

i'm not going to tell you whether you're right or wrong, but i will tell you this:

don't make someone a priority if they only treat you like an option.





it took me many years to learn that. i think i'm finally getting the hang of it.

[Draconican]

Originally Posted by Sadderstar

I don't know if there is a "My boyfriend is an ass hole" thread, but I figured that here was just as good a place as such a thread rant about a "My boyfriend is an ass hole" thing. And maybe I'm over reacting to it because my dad was abusive and things, not even bad things sometimes, make warning bells go off in my head. And maybe I'm not over reacting, maybe I'm right.

First things first though, he is a year and a half younger than myself, which puts him at 16 and right now, that age difference may be small in years but huge cognitively speaking, especially since he has had a very normal, encouraging homelife thus far. But anyway, I'm ranting because my boyfriend is, at the moment of my writing this, at another girls house watching a movie with her. Of course he's known this girl for...two years? And I've known her for a year or so. Mostly, I like her and am not worried about my boyfriend hanging out with her. But, that still doesn't make what he's doing entirely okay becuase....he's not only being disrespectful by doing this (because, well, it's another girl, even if he trusts her and I have no troubles with her, it still doesnt make it okay) but also placing a double standard into the relationship. It's not okay for me to go hang out with my guy friends like that and on the few occaisions my female friend, that I've known for seven years, has asked me to go drinking with her, said boyfriend forbade me from going, even as a designated driver. Yet, for some reason, I'm supposed to be okay with him driving around in the middle of the night with said girl, getting high, and then him going to her house to watch movies.

Now, either he is a) very very bad at cheating, b)a boyfriend that lacks regard or empathy for my feelings, c) just a plain ol' bad boyfriend, or d) incredibly rude and naive.

And this isn't the frist time these things have caused problems. Not only does he not take me anywhere (And I don't mean out to dinner or anything, though that is rare anyway, I'm talking about little get togethers and stuff), he also doesn't keep the plans he makes with me. For example, once we had decided to go fishing. I hired a babysitter to watch my siblings with money I couldn't really afford to spend on a babysitter, got out poles and made sure they were in working order. I got everything ready and when I got there, he was still in bed and said "I'm too tired baby, let's go fishing some other time."

Dunno. maybe I'm just over reacting a little...maybe not. But either way, his lack of regard for my feelings makes me wonder about the worth while of this relationship.

Two words for ya, hun:

DUMP HIM

Not letting you go to a friend's house immediately lets you know this IS NOT A GOOD RELATIONSHIP. I suggest you dump him immediately. Guys like that are trouble. Control-freaks = bad. Especially when you get married....

I had a boyfriend like that. I ended up finding him fingering a girl during lunch. Believe me, would you rather have him pissed at you for dumping him now than later when you find him banging some chick?

[Sadderstar]

Thank you for the advice. And if it makes you feel any better, I made him cry.

[MrMaelstrom]

Originally Posted by Sadderstar

Thank you for the advice. And if it makes you feel any better, I made him cry.

It is you who must feel better, not us.


"my boyfriend is, at the moment of my writing this, at another girls house watching a movie with her.
I like her and am not worried about my boyfriend hanging out with her. But, that still doesn't make what he's doing entirely okay becuase....he's not only being disrespectful by doing this (because, well, it's another girl, even if he trusts her and I have no troubles with her, it still doesnt make it okay)"

Are you sure about that?

"...but also placing a double standard into the relationship."

This is the point where you began being right.

[Maimy]

Sadder, I will not tell you what to do as others have done. My advice is yours to ignore. But take it for what it is worth: Experience can speak intelligently.

You have to decide what you will and will not accept. Choose your black-and-white in that area.

Then you have to decide what is negotiable. Often, what some might label 'control freak' behavior is just ignorance painted in selfish pigments. If you think it's worth it, you can attempt remonstration - negotiation.

If it doesn't fall on deaf ears, you might do both yourself and your love unit a favor - and he might grow.

If it does, you can file the relationship away in the 'not accepting this shit' file.

But you have to have your standards in place BEFORE you get into ... or OUT OF ... any relationship.

[OmmadDawn]

Originally Posted by Sadderstar

Dunno. maybe I'm just over reacting a little...maybe not. But either way, his lack of regard for my feelings makes me wonder about the worth while of this relationship.

What you are missing in this is that when someone really has feelings for you he is unable to do the things you describe him doing. Ergo, he does not.

Keep in mind that neither you nor he can force him to have feelings he doesn't have.

What are you getting out of that relationship, again? I must have missed something.

___________________________________________
"Step aside and watch a pro...'Dear baby, welcome to Dumpville. Population:
You.' " -- Homer Simpson

[SuicideJade]

Originally Posted by Sadderstar

I don't know if there is a "My boyfriend is an ass hole" thread, but I figured that here was just as good a place as such a thread rant about a "My boyfriend is an ass hole" thing. And maybe I'm over reacting to it because my dad was abusive and things, not even bad things sometimes, make warning bells go off in my head. And maybe I'm not over reacting, maybe I'm right.

First things first though, he is a year and a half younger than myself, which puts him at 16 and right now, that age difference may be small in years but huge cognitively speaking, especially since he has had a very normal, encouraging homelife thus far. But anyway, I'm ranting because my boyfriend is, at the moment of my writing this, at another girls house watching a movie with her. Of course he's known this girl for...two years? And I've known her for a year or so. Mostly, I like her and am not worried about my boyfriend hanging out with her. But, that still doesn't make what he's doing entirely okay becuase....he's not only being disrespectful by doing this (because, well, it's another girl, even if he trusts her and I have no troubles with her, it still doesnt make it okay) but also placing a double standard into the relationship. It's not okay for me to go hang out with my guy friends like that and on the few occaisions my female friend, that I've known for seven years, has asked me to go drinking with her, said boyfriend forbade me from going, even as a designated driver. Yet, for some reason, I'm supposed to be okay with him driving around in the middle of the night with said girl, getting high, and then him going to her house to watch movies.

Now, either he is a) very very bad at cheating, b)a boyfriend that lacks regard or empathy for my feelings, c) just a plain ol' bad boyfriend, or d) incredibly rude and naive.

And this isn't the frist time these things have caused problems. Not only does he not take me anywhere (And I don't mean out to dinner or anything, though that is rare anyway, I'm talking about little get togethers and stuff), he also doesn't keep the plans he makes with me. For example, once we had decided to go fishing. I hired a babysitter to watch my siblings with money I couldn't really afford to spend on a babysitter, got out poles and made sure they were in working order. I got everything ready and when I got there, he was still in bed and said "I'm too tired baby, let's go fishing some other time."

Dunno. maybe I'm just over reacting a little...maybe not. But either way, his lack of regard for my feelings makes me wonder about the worth while of this relationship.

Sadderstar.. the only thing you can do isdecide how much this means to you.. have a talk with him and if things don't change in a reasonable amount of time, call it quits..
i know what you're going through, i'm in the exact situation myself.. except i'm older and should know better..
give yourself time to figuer it out.. then make a decision.. no matter what happens it's for a reason

[Sadderstar]

It's been a few days...and only just today have I been back to read what everyone has said. There has been a lot of thought about this whole business and a look back at the past 8 months of the relationship. I was very angry and very hurt at the time of both posts here. Getting angry and not seeing the whole situation becuase of lack of communication can happen to anyone, especially if both parties are a little insecure and a lot too young. I feel a little foolish now that I look back at it.

He and I love each other a lot, despite this recent trouble between us. My initial reaction was to be rid of him because I'm afraid of being what my mother was and afraid that I was putting myself into the kind of relationship I promised never to put myself in. I saw what it did to my mother and I know the scars it left on my siblings on myself. And, I think, anyone that comes from something unpleasant will get upset if they feel they are being put back into anything remotely like the unpleasant situation. These few events in my relationship pretty much sent off warning bells, yelling at me to do something about it right now. Get rid of it or make it better.

Right now, everything has calmed down and both sides are out in the open. We've come to a decision, but I'm not still not sure about the relationship. I'm going to see how it works for a little while, see if it fixes things, and if it still seems to me that it's something I can't handle, we're going to end it. I realize that most of the problem I have with it is that he's running about with another girl. We're trying to meet in the middle. He repeatively assures me that he loves me and wants to be with me and after looking at it from a different, calmer angle I think it's best that I just see how things go. If he doesn't stray, then I believe I can place trust in him. I have a lot of thinking to do. The warning bells are still going, but I've realized it may be my fears making them go off because, as I said, there is an age difference and a huge difference in background. What is okay to him, and normal to most, seems threatening and scary to me and I've never ever felt the need to do the things he does so it's hard for me to understand.

Learning is a big part of growing.

So, I'm sorry if I seemed rash to you guys. I was angry, hurt, scared, and confused, sorting out too many things at once. And thank you for all the advice, namely from those older and wiser than I (especially maimy).

[TeapotScar]

Originally Posted by Sadderstar

It's been a few days...and only just today have I been back to read what everyone has said. There has been a lot of thought about this whole business and a look back at the past 8 months of the relationship. I was very angry and very hurt at the time of both posts here. Getting angry and not seeing the whole situation becuase of lack of communication can happen to anyone, especially if both parties are a little insecure and a lot too young. I feel a little foolish now that I look back at it.

He and I love each other a lot, despite this recent trouble between us. My initial reaction was to be rid of him because I'm afraid of being what my mother was and afraid that I was putting myself into the kind of relationship I promised never to put myself in. I saw what it did to my mother and I know the scars it left on my siblings on myself. And, I think, anyone that comes from something unpleasant will get upset if they feel they are being put back into anything remotely like the unpleasant situation. These few events in my relationship pretty much sent off warning bells, yelling at me to do something about it right now. Get rid of it or make it better.

Right now, everything has calmed down and both sides are out in the open. We've come to a decision, but I'm not still not sure about the relationship. I'm going to see how it works for a little while, see if it fixes things, and if it still seems to me that it's something I can't handle, we're going to end it. I realize that most of the problem I have with it is that he's running about with another girl. We're trying to meet in the middle. He repeatively assures me that he loves me and wants to be with me and after looking at it from a different, calmer angle I think it's best that I just see how things go. If he doesn't stray, then I believe I can place trust in him. I have a lot of thinking to do. The warning bells are still going, but I've realized it may be my fears making them go off because, as I said, there is an age difference and a huge difference in background. What is okay to him, and normal to most, seems threatening and scary to me and I've never ever felt the need to do the things he does so it's hard for me to understand.

Learning is a big part of growing.

So, I'm sorry if I seemed rash to you guys. I was angry, hurt, scared, and confused, sorting out too many things at once. And thank you for all the advice, namely from those older and wiser than I (especially maimy).

Sounds like you're doing okay with this issue, or better, at least. I just want to make sure you keep this relationship in perspective. You're 17, he's 16... you're both ridiculously young. Relationships don't tend to last at this age. There's always so much uncertainty and caution, but what for? Sorry to be pessimistic...but make just make sure you don't worry yourself into a tizzy, because everything will be okay.

[SuicideJade]

I have come to the conclusion that it's not meant for me to be happy in my romantic relationships..
My love life is looking more and more like a cosmic joke these days..
I think i'll just give up trying.. in the past 3 years i have been cheated on , lied to and used more than Hillary Clinton..
Somebody forgot to tell me that in this life i am a second class citizen not because of my actions or education or finances, but because of the way i look..
they forgot to tell me that my weekends were to be spent by a phone waiting for lame excuses on why he's out late again, or spent in places where i feel like i don't exist..
They for got to tell me that in this lifetime that the only place i'm allowed to go is down.. up is reserved for everybody else..
Love is no longer a many splendoured thing.. it's just another lie like happiness and the american dream..

[ohthefuckwell]

damn, jade. wish there were some magic words i could say to you to make everything better.

but it seems i'm all out of magic these days.

i will say if you ever wanna just vent, i'll be more than happy to lend an ear.

*hugs*

[AlKilyu]

Originally Posted by SuicideJade

I have come to the conclusion that it's not meant for me to be happy in my romantic relationships..
My love life is looking more and more like a cosmic joke these days..
I think i'll just give up trying.. in the past 3 years i have been cheated on , lied to and used more than Hillary Clinton..
Somebody forgot to tell me that in this life i am a second class citizen not because of my actions or education or finances, but because of the way i look..
they forgot to tell me that my weekends were to be spent by a phone waiting for lame excuses on why he's out late again, or spent in places where i feel like i don't exist..
They for got to tell me that in this lifetime that the only place i'm allowed to go is down.. up is reserved for everybody else..
Love is no longer a many splendoured thing.. it's just another lie like happiness and the american dream..

Your bf is a cock, and you can do better than that scumbag. We fucking dig the hell out of you and anyone that cant see how fucking much you rock isnt worth pissing on.

[SuicideJade]

thank you OTFW and Al
*your avatar is really creepy at 4 am Al... :shock: *

i'm all out of magic these days too..
i'm mentally drained and it shows by my expanding waistline and steadily becoming pastier complexion..i have went from toasty brown with flipflop tan lines to this icky dead beige colour...
my hair has goone from excellently coiffed *so put by Mr. edible eye*
to living in a ponytail..
and i've developed insomnia wich aids the icky dead beige colour..

if you're out of magic, good thoughts and a prayer will do me fine..
i'm trying my hardest right now to go the way of carnie wilson and al roker and get gastric bypass surgery.. i'm hoping that will end my sudden onset gigantor list of health problems and save my weak screwed together ankle.. also helpind me to remove my icky dead beige colouration..

i'd try to lose it all myself but i don't have that kind of time and my only previous weight loss success involved a LOT of weed and a lot of time to run about like a wild woman..

it's strange to reminisce.. i was once so healthy and maybe even happy..
i've forgotten what either one feels like..

ok.. enough depressingness for today..
i have to put on my clown face for the coming hours...

[Maimy]

Jade, luv - I'm not sure you are even big enough for gastric bypass. Even if you are: A few things about it experienced by my friend the WalkingBitch, who was not told in advance ...

>>She's had kinks so bad in her intestines that surgery has been considered multiple times.
>>She has lost and broken several teeth.
>>She can't get too thirsty, because she can't drink more than a few ounces at a time.
>>The surgery is extraordinarily life-threatening during, and recuperation is difficult. The re-training of habits is outrageously difficult.
>>The results are incredible - but the excess skin afterward might surprise you more than you expect.
>>You *will* lose your breasts and your ass. That can be shocking for a woman who's had a fair portion in those departments.

I don't really mean to sound like I'm shrieking "NONONO!", but I've seen over three years now how hard this has been for WB, and it takes incredible strength. Also some of the surprises ... I have supported her decision to do this since the beginning (three years or so), but she has expressed doubts given some of the side effects nobody knew about before she had this done.

Part of the problem is its being such a new surgery. They probably didn't even KNOW some of the problems she's had when they performed this procedure on her. And that alone is sort of frightening.

My advice - do TONS of research. Allow nothing without questions. Take no advice (heh) but your own instincts, and trust those more than you usually do. Be brutal both with yourself and your expectations.

And DON'T do this in a depressed state of mind. Right now, it sounds as if you think, "If I were skinny, everything would be better" - and, heaven help me, any doctor who would perform surgery of this nature on a patient who hadn't had counseling to get WELL beyond such issues ... is not a surgeon I'd allow near anyone I loved with a fucking scalpel.

[TeapotScar]

My mom's in the hospital. She just had a little operation, but she has to stay there three nights and four days. I can't imagine what it must be like to stay in such a place, trapped in such a bed, and actually *not* be able to *walk*.

I'm sure lots of you have been in situations like that, you all seem to have so much life experience.

I'm going to try to visit- but I don't know what to bring her? She's more liberal than I am - she cried when Bush won - and she's not thinking about anything besides this election... (Although she did mention on the phone that she's rooting for the Red Sox- yay Mom)

I don't know- I just reallllly hope, not just for the United States, but also just for her, that Kerry wins.

And I hope she feels well enough to eat soon. And drink water. And walk.







I feel like I'm praying.