the Corrupted Wishes game

[spookypurple]

Granted. You will be miles apart but for one night only, your sleeping patterns will be in perfect synch.

I wish I could have a dog.

(Unforunately Spook, we are miles apart... that's why I want it...)

Granted. But it's one of those emotionless barking machines. And it has malfunctioned. Sparks are everywhere and your abode is burning.

I wish my Biology and exams were all done.

[spookypurple]

(Sorry, DA, foot-in-mouth time)

Granted. Now all those body/plant parts are going to start studying you.

I wish one my mates would email me. Haven't heard from him all day.

(No, it's ok, you didn't know...)

Granted. Now you get emails from him every minute, telling you EVERYTHING.

I wish my marks were higher.

[spookypurple]

Ahhhhhh...... :sigh:... *realises* Oh, oops.

Grrr!

Er, I mean, Grrranted. Until someone asks you to scrub them off the wall.

I wish I could read maps.

You can read maps, but it's only backwards that you can read them... have fun!

I wish I had a penis some days.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Granted.
You'll soon learn its disadvantages when you want to go swimming

I wish every woman that sees me would check me out and even try to follow me

[Godslayer Jillian]

Oh, my post was directed to DA

[Godslayer Jillian]

Granted, but seeing as you erased something, you stopped existing for a small instance; and, naturally, something cannot linger if it doesn't exist, so you stop existing.

I wish my videogame worked.

On a side note: incessant jealousy... how is that a bad thing?

(Damn you Xng...)

Granted, but the video game becomes real...
I wish fat would melt.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

Granted, your video game works and you become obsessed, sucked into its flashing-light bottomless void, until you forget who you are or how long you've been playing and awake to find your entire life has passed you by.

Isn't that the fun in a videogame?

Granted. You are omniscient, and you discover that people are either freaks, sick, or have murderous thoughts.

[Godslayer Jillian]

I knew I was missing something.


Um...



I want to be the next Peter Murphy

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

You become the next Peter Murphy - right before the site crashes and everyone's post count goes back to zero.

I wish that I could figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

[NachtSorcier]

Granted. In a moment of insanity you decide you want to be Jennifer Lopez's personal assistant.

I wish I had a monkey.

[disorder]

Granted, but it murders you in your sleep

I wish my english homework would do it's self

[spookypurple]

Granted. But it just writes 'fish' 3,000 times before handing itself in.

I wish people could be more polite.

[roserougesang]

Granted.

Everyone becomes unbelievably polite. The problem is, it becomes as terrible as murder to burp. After enjoying a particularly good meal you let forth a belch and are carted off to prison.

I wish penguins could tap dance.

[spookypurple]

(Oh, then I'm in trouble!)

Granted. But you now can't get anywhere your bath or sink because the taps are covered in fox-trotting penguins.

I wish I understood cricket.

[roserougesang]

You begin to understand cricket but find it very boring. The problem is, this is one of those subjects that is so boring you can't stop thinking about it. You eventually die of boredom.

I wish the Cthulhu was a tame creature.

[spookypurple]

Granted. But to keep Cthulhu company, you have to have a houseload of Old Ones. They, sadly, are not even house-trained.

I wish I could keep my mind on one thing at a time.

[roserougesang]

You manage to keep your mind on one thing. In fact, you manage to keep your mind on one thing...for your WHOLE LIFE. Anything in your life not remotely related to your mind-focused thought appears irrelevant to you and everything goes downhill from there.

I wish my socks never got holes in them.

[spookypurple]

Granted. They now don't even have a hole for you to put your tootsies into.

I wish I could walk down stairs safely.

[nuksaa]

Granted. However, to compensate for the shift in karma, a balance needs to be maintained. While walking down the street a flower pot gets knocked from a 12 story window and hits you on head. The subsequent brain damage has caused a complete loss of leg motor skills and you must crawl. So, the same issues you had walking down the stairs, now apply to crawling.

I wish minivans would implode.

[NachtSorcier]

Granted, and you just happen to be inside one while they do.

I wish our dogs didn't smell.

[spookypurple]

Granted. They now have no noses.

(Okay, I know. It's an old one...!)

I wish buses arrived on time.