the Corrupted Wishes game

[roserougesang]

Granted. You now are the one always arriving late for them.

I wish the internet never crashed.

[Twisted Ducky]

Granted. But all of the computers in the world would blow up and there would be nothing to make any more with.

I wish I could write the perfect cook book.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Granted. But now everyone has your recipes and there's nothing special about you.


I wish I could write the perfect poem. And yes, they will know I wrote it

[NachtSorcier]

Granted. Now you can never top your own work and you never have a creative urge again.

I wish I could draw better.

[Draconysius]

Granted. However, your art emerges so elegant that a famous New York museum owner convinces you to sign a contract for his displaying of your works, but only pays you 0.01 percent of the profits.

I wish Draconysius had made a wish.

[maggot]

Granted.
But now you never made that comment, thus rendering you unexistant.

I wish I was above the law, and only I.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Granted, you are above the law, but the law decides to tilt a little, and you fall down

I wish I had a harem (and yes. of beautiful women without STDs)

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but the door is locked, and you can't get in at all.

I wish I was a polymath.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Originally Posted by Crom Crauch

Granted, but the door is locked, and you can't get in at all.

If a harem is waiting on the other side, I'LL TEAR THAT BITCH DOWN!

By the way, granted.
You're a polymath.
But now you cannot stop seeing math everywhere, and you find the beginning of the formula of chaos in an apple. Your life is now dedicated to the improbable formula of chaos which will never be accurate, and you know this, so you kill yourself.

I wish the person that grants my wish will make an incredibly long and weird story out of this wish.

[Cicero]

Granted. I am about to make an incredibly long and weird story about your wish. I have it all planned out, here it goes...

But oh no! My computer just came up with a warning that my computer will self destruct in under 30 seconds because what I'm about to write is far too long and exciting for the poor piece of machinery to bare! So your long and weird wish story is lost forever in my fit of rage, and in my anger I send my army of sharp clawed cats half way around the world to tear you to shreds.

I wish I had an army of sharp-clawed cats. (That don't mutiny against me or cause any of the wrong kinds of havoc!)

[Crom Crauch]

Granted, but there is only two of them, and they're large on the ultra-microscopic scale... about 1 or 2 pico-meters long

I wish that magic was real, in terms of science

[maggot]

Granted. You know your wish, but it's now too late to use it.
Something out of Pee Wee's playhouse, neh?

I wish that all the people I hated and only the people I hated would die.

[NachtSorcier]

I have a 16 volume collection of Pee-Wee's Playhouse that I still watch sometimes. You know, it's a lot different when you watch it as an adult and realize how campy it is. *chuckles*

Anyway, granted. Then you realize you secretly hate yourself and you die too.

I wish a had a million tacos that never go bad.

[Cicero]

Granted. Then you eat far too many and explode a'la that Monty Python's Meaning of Life scene. You know, the extremely gross one in the restaurant. With the french waiter and the vomiting. Not pretty.

To quote Alien Sex Fiend, "I wish I was woz a dog".

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

You are a pitt bull and must be put down for the safety of others.

I wish I were more confident.

[mutsumiasakura]

Granted. You become so confident that you gain delusions of immortality and begin doing reckless things like jumping off buildings without a parachute. The ground isn't very kind to you either.

If I only had a brain . . .

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

You have a brain. However you become so clever that you can no longer relate to your friends on an average level and they can't keep up with your conversations. You become a recluse and die alone in your house up in the mountains and your body is not found for several weeks.

I wish I didn't have to work today.

[spookypurple]

Granted.

You go back in time to yesterday, where you spend the rest of your life in a Groundhog Day style loop.

I wish I knew what was going on in my mate's head.

[maggot]

Granted. Now you knopw, but you go insane from being so utterly repulsed by it.

I wish I didn't have this malaise right now.

[spookypurple]

(You know, that sounds perversely inviting)

Granted. You don't have the malaise right now, but you'll have it tomorrow. And possibly ever after.

I wish I could keep to my own deadlines.

[six_inch_heels]

Granted. You become obsessed with deadlines. You cannot miss a deadline without breaking out in an awful rash. Your obsession extends into every area of your life until you die of exhaustion andbeing overworked.

I wish I was taller.

[spookypurple]

Granted. You're 3000 foot tall and everywhere you go, people sing the Human League's "Empire State Human" at you. You crush them underfoot and end up King-Kong stylee.

I wish I didn't get sunburned so easily.

[A Simple Poet]

Granted, you are immutably chained to an igloo in Siberia with all the comforts and emenities of home, but unable to leave.

I wish I could live in New England.

[six_inch_heels]

Granted. You now live in New England but no one likes you. Everyone you know was left behind and you are ostracised by the community. You end up dying alone and depressed, thinking of all the places you could have gone instead.

I wish I could get a job so I'm not continually broke