...words

[StaticVIP]

I hope posting poetry is alright

1 By 1 The Ants March

From nothing comes everything
Living to end with brings your own sin
Sleeping, close your eyes tight
Hold your tears
Bleed threw your own hands
Listen to the world
Nothing can give you yours
Haze the widows souls
Defeated lives will end
Feel the peace here
Inbrace the gift of these reasons
Feel the weight on your hands
Or be for annihilation

Closed

Forgive the forgotten,
Don't forsaken the grace.
Don't remember the evil face,
Just move on ,and forget the face you once thought was beautiful.
For beauty as they say comes from within.
Don't hold the gates closed, stop pushing me away .
Love is rare,
Like a gray rose in the garden of color.
Faith, your grace,and this is evil face.
Your holiness gives me my strength to try.
Your words give my the courage to stand up and not cry.
I'm surrounded by all that's left.
The gray rose and my beautiful face.

[HumanePain]

Posting poetry is more than all right StaticVIP, it is encouraged! But please post it in the right place, which is the poetry thread below:

https://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=3255

(We sure make you work hard around here don't we? (evil grin))

Now, one last tip: it will be less confusing to readers if you say:

"bleed through your own hands"
(the blood is dripping between your fingers)

unless you intended

"blood, threw your own hands"
(your hands are throwing blood around)

This is all constructive criticism, intended to provide feedback for you to improve your writing, not to discourage your interest in expressing yourself.
I myself welcome constructive criticism too, for my writing, so if you see anything that needs a'changing, don't hesitate to let me know.

[StaticVIP]

Thankx....constructive criticism < its ok to give