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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
11-30-2006, 08:35 PM
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#76
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 622
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Because they feel the need to act like a bitch because they can't stand the fact that cellos are better.
Where do dogs go when they die?
__________________
"There is no way out of the mind"--Sylvia Plath
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12-01-2006, 06:52 AM
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#77
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Dogs never actually die; aliens abduct them.
Why does Buffy stab vampires with a stake instead of a steak?
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12-01-2006, 08:44 AM
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#78
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 183
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Because it's obvious they might eat it instead of being killed.
Why are there mailboxes?
--Neurosis
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12-01-2006, 10:11 AM
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#79
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because it's easier to put mail in a mailbox than to put males in a malebox.
How do airplanes stay up?
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12-01-2006, 10:33 AM
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#80
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 183
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The world is actually upside down and we're the only ones that can walk upside down. Airplanes can't, so they can stay much better.
Why do snowflakes melt?
--Neurosis
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12-01-2006, 10:39 AM
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#81
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because Frosty the Snowman has been sentenced to ETERNAL TORMENT by a very angry Zeus: he is born every year only to DIE when the sun shines! ::cue evil laughter::
Why do rubber ducks squeak?
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12-01-2006, 11:03 AM
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#82
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 140
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Because if they didn't squeak they would fly away and you would never see them again
How come I can see the people in the TV but they can't see me?
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12-01-2006, 11:09 AM
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#83
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because the people in the TV can only see the people in the radio.
What causes baldness?
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12-01-2006, 11:18 AM
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#84
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 140
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Aliens yep they have games where they zap your hair out one by one and get extra points if you don't notice.
How come spiders have eight legs and I only have two
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12-01-2006, 11:26 AM
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#85
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New York
Posts: 183
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Because they need it to grab stuff. If you come too close, they can grab you!
Why does my big teenager sister wants to be left alone?
--Neurosis
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12-01-2006, 11:30 AM
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#86
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 140
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Because when you get older you turn into a three eyed monster and if she wasn't left alone she would eat you.
Now why can't I be a monster?
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12-01-2006, 11:39 AM
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#87
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because the little gerbil that lives in your skull is scared of monsters.
Why do we mash potatoes?
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12-01-2006, 11:43 AM
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#88
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 140
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Because if we didn't the potatoes would mash us! and we wouldn't want that now would we?
How come jewish people don't celebrate christmas?
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12-01-2006, 11:46 AM
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#89
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because Christmas doesn't have latkes, and latkes could kick eggnog's ass any day.
Why is a millenium only 1000 years?
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12-01-2006, 11:48 AM
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#90
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 140
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Because if it was 1001 years the world would blow up and if it was 999 years everyone would call the brittish police and then get arrested for waisting police time.
Why am I always so tired?
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12-01-2006, 01:41 PM
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#91
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A box of cookies
Posts: 141
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Because the penguins are using you as an energy source.
What makes mud?
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12-01-2006, 08:22 PM
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#92
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Mud is the product of constant masturbation of animals. It mixes with the dirt and becomes brown and sticky.
Why are ramen noodles so cheap?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-02-2006, 10:33 AM
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#93
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: the eternal suburbs
Posts: 654
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Because someone has FINALLY found a way to recycle used disposable diapers...
How come jalapeños are SUPER HOT, but green peppers aren't when they're the same color?
__________________
According to an article in USA Today, children from single parent homes have much better verbal skills than children from two parent homes. However, children from two parent homes are far superior at bitterly sarcastic repertoire.
I'd love to see crowds of kids running away from a greased naked guy with Jesus hair.--c130
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12-02-2006, 12:00 PM
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#94
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Because jalapeños come from Mexico. And we all know nothing is hotter than a Mexican. 
Why are lemons in Spanish called limes, and limes in Spanish are called lemons?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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12-02-2006, 12:03 PM
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#95
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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because hispanics enjoy the confusion it causes white people when they want a lime in their corona 
why does my mother feel the need to buy $10 wrapping paper?
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12-02-2006, 01:31 PM
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#96
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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She then has a reason to scream at you on Christmas morning for no reason at all aside from the fact you tore up the expensive wrapping paper on your gift (and it turned out the gift was a free key chain from the police department).
Why are spiders so scary?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-02-2006, 01:33 PM
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#97
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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because the cats that watch masturbation from the ceiling are their enemies. so they have to be scary. to scare the cats. that watch masturbation. from the ceiling.
why am i tired?
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12-02-2006, 02:36 PM
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#98
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 1,696
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Because you tried so hard to masturbate without ceiling cat catching you.
Why don't we get infected by new kinds of bacteria brought in from outer space?
__________________
"Don't ever let anybody teach you to think, Lance: it is the curse of the world." - King Arthur in T.H. White's The Once And Future King
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" The Bible (Matthew 7:12)
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12-02-2006, 02:55 PM
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#99
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Your back pocket!
Posts: 347
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Because there are billions of little piggies that form a net around the earth to keep us imprisoned here on this planet, which also causes a protective shield around the world that keeps us safe from unknown diseases. The piggies also find the bacteria very arousing.
Why does my pencil shrink every time I write something down?
__________________
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...
Author: George Carlin
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12-02-2006, 02:57 PM
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#100
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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its a government conspiracy
why does pizza have to be so icky?
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