Rant Thread - Page 13

FenrisQueen · 03-13-2005, 11:53 AM

Thanks guys.

I'm dealing, Xngie, but if I need you, I'll pm you. Thanks sweetie.

I'm about to go to his funeral. I'm sitting here and shaking. I just found out Adam's mom isn't going to go to the funeral because she's catholic and she won't forgive him. I still haven't told my family. Thanks so much for your support.

AlKilyu · 03-13-2005, 12:24 PM

Well don't hold that against her. I mean, it's wrong, very wrong, God is the one who decides who to forgive or not, not people, but she was probably raised to believe that so it's engrained in her head.

I think the Christian belief of suicide being a sin comes from the idea that it's murder, and murder is a sin, because all denominations admit suicide is never mentioned in the bible.

I have no doubt he isn't going to hell, cause I don't believe in it, and that he is in a better place than you and I. You'll see him again eventually, just not soon I hope!

Hang in there....

03-13-2005, 01:53 PM

On suicide, and going to hell.

It all goes back to the principle of the unforgivable sin. You can kill, ****, pillage, eat your neighbors wife and fuck your other neighbors goat, and all that shit can be washed away like a Hershey loaf down the toilet, but…if you take a gift (in these terms one’s own life) and dispose of it—then—then you are (in theory) rejecting God and everything It is, and have committed the one unforgivable sin.

Or, that’s it in a nutshell; if you were curious as to what your friend’s mother’s motivation was behind the rather stupid reaction. Al’s right, in the belief that God forgives, but I think a lot of Christian minded people forget Christians strive to be like Him who died for their sins, so even if Jesus God or Allah couldn’t let your friend back in just on principal, I believe they’d all go to his funeral, weep a few tears, hug everyone who wanted a hug.

And I also agree with AL that not all fighter pilots go to heaven and not all suicides go to hell. If there is a God, I'd hope he or she had a better judgment criteria than that, or a lot of us would opt out of heaven for the firey pit on principal and company alone. Fuck, I'd go there just to chat with Ernest.

So I think you friend’s mother knows not the mind of God, and simply imposes her mind where it suits her, and maybe a little leary of her own transgressions? It's a mighty fine feeling to say, "I've done that, but I've never done THAT! Whew, that means I'm closer than (insert other transgressors) and I've got at least...a fifty fifty shot now!"

As to your current state of grief, my heart goes out to you. I’ve sat and thought about your post since reading it early this morning, slept on it, and thought about it some more. I wish there were words I could impart to give you some comfort, but it all come to so much nothing. It’s rather mysterious, this thing called life.

Last week I read an article about a 17 year boy suffering from emotional dwarfism after being locked in a crib and kept in diapers for most of his life. When they found him he weighed 47 pounds and stood just a little over 4 feet tall. Eyewitnesses said you could count his bones, not just his ribs, but every fucking bone draped under his taunt malnourished skin.

I don’t know what your friend's situation was like, but if he had you as a friend I can assume he was one up on crib-diaper-pigmy-boy, and so…crib-diaper-pigmy-boy strives to suffer longer in life, and your friend has decided to call it a day.

Does that make one better than the other?

No, I don’t think so. I think it means your friend had some emotional baggage grater than the sum of all the strife of crib-diaper-pigmy-boy’s experience, and was resolved that it would never get any better. That doesn’t make him a bad or sad person. It just means he had pain, pain that many of us can’t comprehend, and that kind of shit scares a lot of people.

Your friend’s mother, for example.

So, as his friend, would you do us the honors of introducing him, and letting us get to know him (in some small way) as only you knew him? Could you, if it’s not too traumatic, breathe his words and share a shining moment, or two, of your friendship together? I can’t speak for everyone here, but for myself, I would hear what is on your mind and in your heart, and tarry with those memories of a dear friend for a while.

And glisten my eyes with you in sweet reverie, so I would…so would many of us.

Take care.

drgnlvr · 03-13-2005, 02:00 PM

Tstone, I'm speechless. That was beautiful, and your suggestion was wonderful.

AlKilyu · 03-13-2005, 02:20 PM

Great points.

"Judge not lest ye be judged."

Basically you don't have the means and rights to determine who is or isn't a sinner, and doing so will probably get you kicked up higher on the "Ones To Kick In The Ass" list. The zealots TStone has spoken of in the past usually do this without pause. It's easy to ignore them, but like that filthy dreadlocked (white) person protesting any said event who gets on the news representing liberals, they don't represent the group they claim to be a part of and add to the negative ideals and stereotypes the general public has about them.

FenrisQueen · 03-13-2005, 04:25 PM

Al, you have a point there... Thanks for letting me see the other side.

Tstone, thank you. Your words are as poignant as ever.

Adam was a great guy. He always stood up for his friends, and sometimes for people he didn't even know. He was hassled for being a punk, but didn't let that get him down. He hung with the skinheads, the goths, the drama geeks, the basketball team. He was bi, and I remember after we broke up we used to sit in the mall and rate girls and guys. The first guy I really loved, the first guy I got drunk with. The first person I came out to. The guy who taught me how to mosh, how to fight dirty, how to take lifes shit and throw it right back. The first guy who fought for me. The first person who accepted who I was and let me grow wihout stopping me. Adam, who I've known since I was ten, and adored since the first time he walked up to me on my first day in sixth grade (he in eighth) and let me wear his favorite leather jacket and sat with me at lunch. How at my first high school dance he punched out my date like an overprotective brother then took me home and ended up kissing me on my front porch.
The first person I ever worked up the nerve to skip school with.
The first person I cried in front of after my father passed away. The only person I'd go see Disney movies with.

my best friend. I love you Adam.

ghostposts · 03-13-2005, 05:55 PM

That was wonderful. Fenris, you'll see him again. It wouldn't be heaven without Adam's soul in it.

drgnlvr · 03-13-2005, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FenrisQueen

Al, you have a point there... Thanks for letting me see the other side.

Tstone, thank you. Your words are as poignant as ever.

Adam was a great guy. He always stood up for his friends, and sometimes for people he didn't even know. He was hassled for being a punk, but didn't let that get him down. He hung with the skinheads, the goths, the drama geeks, the basketball team. He was bi, and I remember after we broke up we used to sit in the mall and rate girls and guys. The first guy I really loved, the first guy I got drunk with. The first person I came out to. The guy who taught me how to mosh, how to fight dirty, how to take lifes shit and throw it right back. The first guy who fought for me. The first person who accepted who I was and let me grow wihout stopping me. Adam, who I've known since I was ten, and adored since the first time he walked up to me on my first day in sixth grade (he in eighth) and let me wear his favorite leather jacket and sat with me at lunch. How at my first high school dance he punched out my date like an overprotective brother then took me home and ended up kissing me on my front porch.
The first person I ever worked up the nerve to skip school with.
The first person I cried in front of after my father passed away. The only person I'd go see Disney movies with.

my best friend. I love you Adam.

Very beautiful, Fenris. He sounds like a really great person.

I mourn with you. :cry:

Solumina · 03-13-2005, 08:00 PM

I’m so sorry Fenris. If there is anything you need let me know

03-14-2005, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FenrisQueen

Al, you have a point there... Thanks for letting me see the other side.

Tstone, thank you. Your words are as poignant as ever.

Adam was a great guy. He always stood up for his friends, and sometimes for people he didn't even know. He was hassled for being a punk, but didn't let that get him down. He hung with the skinheads, the goths, the drama geeks, the basketball team. He was bi, and I remember after we broke up we used to sit in the mall and rate girls and guys. The first guy I really loved, the first guy I got drunk with. The first person I came out to. The guy who taught me how to mosh, how to fight dirty, how to take lifes shit and throw it right back. The first guy who fought for me. The first person who accepted who I was and let me grow wihout stopping me. Adam, who I've known since I was ten, and adored since the first time he walked up to me on my first day in sixth grade (he in eighth) and let me wear his favorite leather jacket and sat with me at lunch. How at my first high school dance he punched out my date like an overprotective brother then took me home and ended up kissing me on my front porch.
The first person I ever worked up the nerve to skip school with.
The first person I cried in front of after my father passed away. The only person I'd go see Disney movies with.

my best friend. I love you Adam.

True words. Good words. Words to elevate and inspire; such is your painting of this being you named friend, lover, protector, conspirator. When my day comes I hope I have someone to speak so eloquently, so confidently, yea, even so passionately as you, he.

Thank you, and if you wish to elaborate more I’m still listening.

DreamCase · 03-18-2005, 10:27 AM

I am so sorry to break up the eloquent speech with a complete change of thought but I haven't been online for 4 days because my laptop is defective. the damn thing had to be sent back to dell.ARRGGGHHH, ok ranting over.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 03-18-2005, 12:00 PM

Number 3.7 on the list of headlines I NEVER want to see in the news ever, ever, ever, EVER again as long as I live..

Missing Father, Baby Found At 'Liquorworld'

POSTED: 2:19 pm EST March 18, 2005
UPDATED: 2:26 pm EST March 18, 2005

MIAMI -- A man who was reported missing with his 17-month old son for three days has turned up.

/ Implode

:x

Jane13 · 03-18-2005, 12:09 PM

Fenris... *hug*

EPS, why do these people feel they have a right to live?

Solumina · 03-18-2005, 07:23 PM

Wow that really is quite a tragic scenario; she does seem to have far too many serious issues to even be thinking about children. Do you know why she wanted to get pregnant in the first place? It may be an attempt on her part to create some stability within her life, unfortunately a kid will probably do the exact opposite.

ghostposts · 03-18-2005, 07:33 PM

Gawd, what a mess. My sister, who is schzoeffective, and on meds, got pregnant. The doctors have changed her meds so they won't hurt the baby, but some who take meds are placed in a hospital for the duration of the pregnancy, and do it without the meds.

My aunt, a schizophrenic, had a son, as well. Pray to whatever higher power you pray to and talk to your friend, to find out what options her doctors are considering. Hopefully they will be able to sort things out.

Solumina · 03-18-2005, 08:54 PM

Many people make life altering decisions and refuse to listen to reason, I'm sorry that your friend has done so. At least she has your support, I have no doubt that she will need it

Jane13 · 03-20-2005, 04:01 PM

Xnguela, be strong. You're friend is going to go through a lot, but she's probably going to need someone to lean on. I'm sorry she made an unwise descision... and that you have to deal with it now, sis. *hug*

gingerbreadwench · 03-23-2005, 11:16 PM

A while ago, I was the featured violinist in the pit orchestra for another school's presentation of Big River. I loved it, and it was the most fun I've ever had playing the violin. Not only that, I got to catch up with some old friends that were other musicians in the pit and actors in the play. One of them happened to be Isaiah, a very handsome, tall, sweet guy who I really fell for all over again when we started hanging out during rehearsals. After the first night of the performance, he asked for my phone number. I gave it to him, we kept hanging out, kept up with our ritual hugs after each performance-- he even asked for my address and wrote it on his arm. He lives within walking distance of my house.

My rant is-- this was in JANUARY, and he still hasn't called or come by, even though he said he would. Even if he lost my address, I live at a freaking BUSINESS that isn't hard to find. I kept my cellphone with me AT ALL TIMES for weeks after I gave him my number. He still has not called. I'm so mad. He's so amazingly sweet and funny (and omg so cute!), not very popular or anything like that, and has such good hair. Once again... he asked ME for MY phone number and MY address, and nothing. Absolutely nothing from him. What on earth could have happened?

TeapotScar · 03-24-2005, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gingerbreadwench

A while ago, I was the featured violinist in the pit orchestra for another school's presentation of Big River. I loved it, and it was the most fun I've ever had playing the violin. Not only that, I got to catch up with some old friends that were other musicians in the pit and actors in the play. One of them happened to be Isaiah, a very handsome, tall, sweet guy who I really fell for all over again when we started hanging out during rehearsals. After the first night of the performance, he asked for my phone number. I gave it to him, we kept hanging out, kept up with our ritual hugs after each performance-- he even asked for my address and wrote it on his arm. He lives within walking distance of my house.

My rant is-- this was in JANUARY, and he still hasn't called or come by, even though he said he would. Even if he lost my address, I live at a freaking BUSINESS that isn't hard to find. I kept my cellphone with me AT ALL TIMES for weeks after I gave him my number. He still has not called. I'm so mad. He's so amazingly sweet and funny (and omg so cute!), not very popular or anything like that, and has such good hair. Once again... he asked ME for MY phone number and MY address, and nothing. Absolutely nothing from him. What on earth could have happened?

Obviously he's an idiot. If I had your address and phone number, I would be calling your phone from your front porch, right now.

But, seriously- he's probably shy. Boys suck like that- have you tried looking around for him at school or what not?

WolfMoon · 03-24-2005, 11:31 AM

I'm sorry for your loss Fenris.I had a friend that was kinda like an older brother at one time, but we merely drifted apart.It was painful knowing that he seemed to be getting along fine in life without me, but that's just the way things went for us.I am glad though that I know he's still around.

It does suck when a friend decides to kill themself,but he just couldn't deal with the pain life was dealing him at this time, babe.Believe me, it can feel like the only alternative to the pain when you think about either death or living one more day in this world.And it has nothing to do with you or anyone else that he knew or loved, it's not that he didn't care he just didn't know how to cope.And don't think that "If only I'd.......", cuz it wouldn't have mattered what you did.I've had so many people offer to come right over or tell me that all I need is to call them if I ever have 'those feelings', but I know I never will.If I'm feeling the overwhelming tide of depression raging agianst my sanity,I may just take that plunge again one day.The point is he loved you and probably felt that he would be burdoning you with his angst.Depression is a very private thing when it's got you in it's clutches and we deal with it privately.

I hope that any of this rambling might prove helpful or useful if you're wondering why he didn't say anything.

Xng,Once you have a baby you mourn the loss of being independent.I wish someone could've gotten that through the concrete block your friend calls a head!

GBW,why haven't you called him?

Giga · 03-25-2005, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

She wants to get pregnant because she wants to have her own life. She wants to be independent, so she's having a baby that will be dependent on her. It's screwy, I know... last time she thought she was pregnant, I told her all of this...

this time, the only thing I can do is try to help through support.

It seems to me she doesn't want a baby for the sake of the baby, but out of her own selfish reasons.

She should be stopped...

WolfMoon · 03-25-2005, 05:01 PM

I have a petty whine!

So I have $100 saved up for a doll head from our income tax money.I order the head(stfu!),it's in Korea.They tell me I can most certainly use an international M.O. to pay for the much-longed-for doll part.Yay!

So I go to the post office and they tell me International money orders are not available for Korea!What?You've gotta be kiddin' me!So I have to cancel my order and I'm actually very upset that I can't get my doll head.I've got $100 sittin' around with nothin' to do.

Guess it's ebay time!

But I'm pissed off that I can't get what I wanted in the first place!I have the money just let me get it to 'em!Please?

:cry:

Giga · 03-26-2005, 02:54 AM

I have a similar problem.

You see, my forums have a generic banner incorporated with them (since they're free forums). I wanted to pay those $5 to remove the banner, I even got a credit card and when I wanted to do it, guess what happened...

...there is no Serbia & Montenegro among the choice of countries.

So practicaly, I can't register and therefore I can't pay those lousy $5 to remove the goddamn banner.

Le merde...

edible_eye · 03-26-2005, 07:52 AM

http://www.moneygram.com/servlet/Def...__Transfer.xml

http://www.x-rates.com/calculator.html

http://www.oanda.com/convert/classic...mericanexpress

maybe these will help a little, wolfmoon? the last one is an american express link, so perhaps they'd be able to help with the conversion and delivery? look under south korea for the country, cuz korea doesn't exist alone.

WolfMoon · 03-26-2005, 03:14 PM

I appreciate the effort, Mark, but they said specifically that it had to be either:

1.Paypal(don't have a credit card)

2.International bank tranfer(don't have a bank account)

3.International Postal M.O.(a possibility,I never had a problem with international m.o.s before.Post office doesn't have any country but 'Korea'.No North or South!Bastards!)

I just wanna know why I can't get a m.o. for Seoul!It's not like i'm doing business with North Korea.

But thank you very much for the links!

You're awesome!