hi

[trauma]

no not tom but mumma annette bumblefreely and karina trauma

[trauma]

uv always loave us nothings changed

[Lapin]

No, I was irritated with you. Now I think you're a bloody troll. I'm going to stop feeding you and hopefully you'll crawl back into your cave.

[trauma]

okily kokily

[trauma]

ACCEPTANCE
Life has unfolded beyond belief,
these past remembrances, incredibly intense.
Now it is time for decided relief,
resting my soul, healing concealed suspense.

The sun, the stars, the moon now I see,
mountains so beautiful, snow on the peaks.
The birds still sing, hear the murmur of the bee?
Life does go on and only the future will speak.

Let me live for today and make it my best,
entitle me to learn and love even me.
Almost to the summit, I see the new found crests,
learning to live and chosen to be.

Forgiving life with all that it held,
understanding the good, which is now here.
Allowing my emotions to open and meld,
living life with such honest revere.

[trauma]

My Name Is Toxic Shame

I was there at your conception
In the epinephrine of your mother's shame
You felt me in the fluid of your mother's womb
I came upon you before you could speak
Before you understood
Before you had any way of knowing
I came upon you when you were learning to walk
When you were unprotected and exposed
When you were vulnerable and needy
Before you had any boundaries
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

I came upon you when you were magical
Before you could know I was there
I severed your soul
I pierced you to the core
I brought you feelings of being flawed and defective
I brought you feelings of distrust, ugliness, stupidity, doubt
worthlessness, inferiority, and unworthiness
I made you feel different
I told you there was something wrong with you
I soiled your Godlikeness
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

I existed before conscience
Before guilt
Before morality
I am the master emotion
I am the internal voice that whispers words of condemnation
I am the internal shudder that courses through you without any mental preparation
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

I live in secrecy
In the deep moist banks of darkness depression and despair
Always I sneak up on you I catch you off guard I come through the back door
Uninvited unwanted
The first to arrive
I was there at the beginning of time
With Father Adam, Mother Eve
Brother Cain
I was at the Tower of Babel the Slaughter of the Innocents
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

I come from "shameless" caretakers, abandonment, ridicule, abuse, neglect - perfectionistic systems
I am empowered by the shocking intensity of a parent's rage
The cruel remarks of siblings
The jeering humiliation of other children
The awkward reflection in the mirrors
The touch that feels icky and frightening
The slap, the pinch, the jerk that ruptures trust
I am intensified by
A racist, sexist culture
The righteous condemnation of religious bigots
The fears and pressures of schooling
The hypocrisy of politicians
The multigenerational shame of dysfunctional family systems
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

I can transform a woman person, a Jewish person, a black person, a gay person, an oriental person, a precious child into
A bitch, a kike, a ******, a bull dyke, a ******, a chink, a selfish little bastard
I bring pain that is chronic
A pain that will not go away
I am the hunter that stalks you night and day
Every day everywhere
I have no boundaries
You try to hide from me
But you cannot
Because I live inside of you
I make you feel hopeless
Like there is no way out
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

My pain is so unbearable that you must pass me on to others through control, perfectionism, contempt, criticism, blame,
envy, judgment, power, and rage
My pain is so intense
You must cover me up with addictions, rigid roles, reenactment, and unconscious ego defenses.
My pain is so intense
That you must numb out and no longer feel me.
I convinced you that I am gone - that I do not exist - you experience absence and emptiness.
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

I am the core of co-dependency
I am spiritual bankruptcy
The logic of absurdity
The repetition compulsion
I am crime, violence, incest, ****
I am the voracious hole that fuels all addictions
I am instability and lust
I am Ahaverus the Wandering Jew, Wagner's Flying Dutchman, Dostoyevski's underground man, Kierkegaard's seducer,
Goethe's Faust
I twist who you are into what you do and have
I murder your soul and you pass me on for generations
MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME

[trauma]

http://www.goddirect.org/mindemtn/wr...y/toxshame.htm
link to last poem toxic shame

[trauma]

as for quoting quotes what else is it that we do as human beings other then mimic. Go on find something original its an illution a joke we are all our past.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Originally Posted by trauma

i can only insult u if there is some truth in it

You have fisted your ass so much you cannot stop dripping shit all over the place.
I guess if I came up with this insult, 'there is some truth in it'.

[Draconysius]

Guys, I'm pretty sure this is someone who's acting this stupid on purpose just to annoy us. (AKA: a troll)

Either that or it's seriously, horribly retarded.

[trauma]

i give up you are all mad and your actually thick poor buggers your fucked

[trauma]

and you r not goths no way i shall inform my goth mates and email everyone so as to avoid your nutty site you twisted minded little minority

[trauma]

umm actualy thinking bout it fists up arses pretty sick people talk like that normaly the type that like to do that shit stop abusing people you peodophiles weirdos uneducated little minority thanks for the lessons on how to spot a pedophile goth

[Godslayer Jillian]

Tauma, what's your IQ?
Have you ever published something?
What's your major in college?
Are you responsible for a family?
What's the greatest benefit you have provided to your community?
Have you ever debated a college professor, and won?
Can you mention three works by Dostoevsky?
Have you saved someone's life?





If you cannot answer but mediocrities to these questions, then no, you're definitely not better than us.

As for your statement that we 'r not goths'[sic], prove to me that this was not an entirely arbitrary statement said by someone in a futile attempt of retaliation towards the people that made her feel so bad that she's crying and wishing for her 'aggressors'' death as if her opinion had any importance over Reality.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Jillian, why do you bother? It's just a troll or a moron.

[HumanePain]

Jillian likes to take advantage of the opportunity to justifiably insult someone. We all need to do that now and then, don't you agree Ophelia?

[Underwater Ophelia]

Of course, however I usually favor more difficult targets.


Oh Humane, you know my weakness, insulting people. :P

[Godslayer Jillian]

Every time I see a failure in logic or an erroneous assumption I do take advantage of it. :P
Stupid or smart, they made a mistake, and I have to point it out.

EDIT: Also, although I am mocking her, it's a sign of respect in my manner of thought. I don't believe any person is not worth my time when it comes to arguments.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

Every time I see a failure in logic or an erroneous assumption I do take advantage of it. :P
Stupid or smart, they made a mistake, and I have to point it out.

EDIT: Also, although I am mocking her, it's a sign of respect in my manner of thought. I don't believe any person is not worth my time when it comes to arguments.

It is actually a form of enlightenment, if the targeted person can learn from the discussion.
Your logic forces them to think. You force them to really question and determine: "why do I believe what I believe? Why do I think that?"

It is goodness to point out to someone if they are in genuine error, especially if they accept it and change because of it.

Some of my discussions with Godslayer have been difficult for these reasons, but I have grown (intellectually speaking) because of it.

Hmmm. An 18 year old teaches a 51 year old.

[Underwater Ophelia]

What's with the colours? Red for Jillian, blue for all other members? Or...?

[HumanePain]

I use red for Jillian because sometime ago last year I posted a random reply to him with his name in red (I forget why) and he said he liked seeing his name in red. So ever since then I do it to please him. Yeah, I'm an ass kisser.

I used blue for you recently just because at the time you struck me as a blue personality, and I don't mean blue as in you are "feeling blue", but just the color itself. I just felt like using it.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Ah. Just curious. The blue does fit.

[maggot]

What am I? o_o

[HumanePain]

Slate Blue dude. Rivethead colored!

[maggot]

Slate blue is the man.