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Old 08-03-2007, 02:04 PM   #101
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vyvian Blackthorne
Grabbing the closest gun toward him, Mephisto heads out of the bar searching for Harlequin.
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and finds him huddled in the corner with his Marilyn Manson CDs held close to him... in a rather perverted way...
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Old 08-03-2007, 04:31 PM   #102
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And as soon as he raises his gun and says "bah, disposable teens" (typical action joke) a flock of pigeons swarm around me to create a shield.
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Old 08-03-2007, 06:54 PM   #103
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`Gah` cried the self-proclaimed protagonist as he tried to hide himself, yet the bullet hit him while he was busy humping the living shit out of the pigeons (he can't help himself, poor thing).
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Old 08-03-2007, 07:27 PM   #104
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Fuck.
"why mephisto?!"
"I created you with my own fluids!"
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Old 08-03-2007, 07:35 PM   #105
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Then, for no reason whatsoever, an alien robot riding a mechanical bull appeared, grabbed harlequin's bowler, and flew away into oblivion.
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Old 08-03-2007, 07:37 PM   #106
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Blood spouts out of my head as I gasp hopelessly and collapse.
For you see, that bowler hat was my lung!

FINE! I'm dead now.
But I'll make a cameo! MUAHWAHWAHHA!
LIKE STAN LEEEeE!
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Old 08-03-2007, 07:42 PM   #107
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And the people celebrated.

^click
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Old 08-04-2007, 12:33 PM   #108
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They were truly living in the moment for the first time.
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Old 08-06-2007, 03:45 PM   #109
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Until they all, by some cosmic coincidence, simultaneously had heart attacks and died - all, save Steve Urkel.
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Old 08-06-2007, 03:51 PM   #110
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He desperately searched for survivors, or signs of nearby civilization.
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Old 08-06-2007, 06:48 PM   #111
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But all I found was cheese.
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Old 08-06-2007, 07:10 PM   #112
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But you were irrelevant anyway; Steve was miles and miles away, and had just found a magical flying walrus named Bertha.
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Old 08-06-2007, 07:12 PM   #113
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(Dammit, I didn't mean to write "I")

They chased me down, and Bertha impaled me through the skull with one of her tusks.
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Old 08-07-2007, 04:59 PM   #114
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Though, somehow, I was unscathed.
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Old 08-11-2007, 02:11 PM   #115
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The only problem was that i didn't know what unscathed meant...
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Old 08-11-2007, 02:12 PM   #116
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I looked it up in a nearby dictionary to find that it meant not hurt or harmed in any way.
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Old 08-16-2007, 11:57 AM   #117
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The dictionary that I happened to pick up was Samuel Johnson's Dictionary.
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Old 08-16-2007, 05:32 PM   #118
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As soon as I closed it, all of the pages fell out.
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Old 08-16-2007, 07:33 PM   #119
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To my shock, they exploded and burst into flames like a wrecked automobile.
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Old 08-16-2007, 07:52 PM   #120
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Guts and page's went everywhere whilst.
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Old 08-20-2007, 03:53 PM   #121
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But the story continues in the mind of those who lived to see it unfold.
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Old 08-20-2007, 06:07 PM   #122
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The men in white coats plucked a smoldering page from the ashes and made an origami crane.
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Old 08-20-2007, 06:20 PM   #123
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Though the paper was of poor quality and the crane quickly fell apart.
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Old 08-22-2007, 12:25 PM   #124
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Given all the white coated men had nothing more to do; they resorted to reproducing each other.
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