What reactions did you get?

Oooh my first thread on here :0
I am curious about something o.o
What kind of reactions did you get from your parents, friends or lover when you turned goth?
It is about 3 years or so that I turned goth.
My mother accepted it fully o.o believe it or not, she even supported me O_O
My friends, on the other hand, had a hard time accepting it.
Kept asking me if I wasn't ashamed of looking like that o.o
But to be honest, I have never felt more natural than I have since I turned goth.
So, what reactions did you guys get?

[KontanKarite]

I don't think I really changed. It was such a gradual thing for me that the transition is hard to pinpoint.

My family hates I'm "goth". No, they just fear for my safety.

My friends aren't surprised. They tell me that I've never changed.

[Sovetcke]

My parents knew that i was weird since i was 5 or so.
Drawing lots of blood , vampires when some one gives me a pen .

So both are not surprised .

Friends ... since i went to jordan to study , they do not even know what is goth here , and think am some kind of a satanist , heh.

Oh the common judgement -.- look a little dark and suddenly you are a satanist. Satanism, however, has nothing to do with devilworshipping.
I do my very best to teach people the difference.

[Cyntrox]

Are you, by chance, referring to LaVey? Cause satanism was around before him...

/offtopic

[james"bloody tears"]

honestly there was no point it just slowly happened. no one noticed because ive always been a little out there.

Ah, I was unaware. Yes, I would be speaking of LaVey.

[LadyLucretia]

Define "turning goth." Three years ago you would have been 14, correct? Sorry, but the last time someone said this, they meant they were a spookykid for a few years as opposed to a goth. Are you referring to fashion or music?

I don't think I "turned" into anything. There was a lot of foreshadowing throughout my childhood, and then in high school I played with different styles and listened to mostly punk, and when I discovered goth I just committed more to it than to other styles because it was such an obvious fit. But I've been weird in one form or another for so long, that it didn't shock anyone.

Yeah, I was still 14.
And I guess I was a spookeykid for quite some time :P
I am still adapting to the music and such.
Believe me, some of my first attempts on eyeliner looked retarded >_<
but in my case it was colors one day, black the next o.o
Shocked quite some people :P But I felt like an individual by doing so.
So, I have sticked to goth ever since(the will to be goth has to count, right?! O_O), despite the negative experiances.

[LadyLucretia]

Originally Posted by Anarasha

Yeah, I was still 14.
And I guess I was a spookeykid for quite some time :P
I am still adapting to the music and such.
Believe me, some of my first attempts on eyeliner looked retarded >_<
but in my case it was colors one day, black the next o.o
Shocked quite some people :P But I felt like an individual by doing so.
So, I have sticked to goth ever since(the will to be goth has to count, right?! O_O), despite the negative experiances.

That's what I figured . As I said to the last person who made a similar statement - saying you "went goth" implies that you were an actual goth, not a spooky kid. It's safer to say that you became 'interested in goth' at that time so that there is less confusion.

It's silly to try to be anything, but if you are just interested in learning about the goth subculture, I would recommend browsing through the music section since judging by your intro you still lean towards metal.

[TheLaughingCorpse]

Well, pertaining to the clothing and make-up I wear, I've never looked even half as beautiful and elaborate as some other people do when they get all voodoo dolled up, but all it really takes is some black clothing and add maybe a few chains and skulls here and there for people to start crying goth and making the sign of the cross at you. Which has, oddly enough, happened to me before. :P Plus, I didn't just wake up one day and buy a new wardrobe--the transition happened slowly over the years, and I'm still evolving into...well, something certainly.

I'd seen some people on a talk show when I was nine or so that looked so incredible and lovely to me (a mix of goths, punks, club kids, etc.) that I knew it was something I wanted to look into when I was older. I always felt so sad when they made them over into average-looking clothing and wondered how the audience could possibly applaud the change. (I didn't know much about human nature then.)

My mom must've seen the gleam in my eye because she asked, with more than a little dread in her voice, if I was going to become "one of those people". Of course I said no because I was nine and had no real influence over my own fate.

My mom was distressed over me chosing any of my own clothing during my teen years, nevermind when I found that black made me feel the most comfortable, or when things you don't see in the window of Macy's showed up in my closet. She had always forced me to wear pink, girly things no matter how much I loathed them--I would actually fly into rages and rip at the frilly clothing she demanded I wear.

I digress.

She now accepts that her child is indeed underneath all that black, though she'll still gasp or inquire if I'm really going out in public like that sometimes--but like I said, I don't even think I look wild. Although, I suppose the people who throw and scream various things at me from speeding cars when I walk down the street disagree. My friends never seemed to have been bothered by my appearance, same with my father, though I'm sure he raised his eyebrows more than once.

Yes, I heavily lean towards metal :P I happen to be a major metalhead.
However, I am interrested in the goth subculture and I do like the music o.o
But I don't believe that much in labels (: I wear what I want and I listen to whatever I wanna listen to (:

[LadyLucretia]

Originally Posted by Anarasha

Yes, I heavily lean towards metal :P I happen to be a major metalhead.
However, I am interrested in the goth subculture and I do like the music o.o
But I don't believe that much in labels (: I wear what I want and I listen to whatever I wanna listen to (:

That's a good attitude to have. Bands I would recommend you currently would be KMFDM, Lacrimosa, Lacuna Coil, and Ministry. They all have heavier, metal-influenced elements that you might appreciate (aside from Ministry's synth pop era, which was still fun).

I will check those out soon (: thanks for the tip

[Azaezl]

My mum was a little saddned by it at first but she's fine now and doesn't mind at all, my dad's been pretty supportive the whole time, now he really embraces it and gets special wrapping paper for presents and really makes an effort to get me a 'gothic' present / card. I can vividly recall a phase in my life when I wouldn't wear anything unless it was dark, preferably black, my mum would take me clothes shopping and I'd say no to anything that wasn't dark, I also started to listen to guns n roses thanks to my cousin. This was when I was about 9, eventually I was broken by the constant nagging and the fact I had no clothes, so I went 'normal' until about the age of 14.

Then I started to dabble in different styles, got my ears pierced again(the cartiledge at top) but didn't know where to get started in the music or where to find the kind of clothes I liked. At this point my mum didn't really notice any change as most of the time I looked 'normal', just listened to some strange music(mostly obscure punk bands and a few rock). Then I met this guy who just bowled me over, I thought he looked amazing in his band tee, trenchcoat, big boots and jet black longish hair. My mum was a little worried about how much I liked him and the stuff she thought he was introducing me to, because at this point I was also studying wicca and starting to wear alot more black and listening to korn.

Then over the next 7 / 8 years I dabbled in allsorts of styles,music and things which my mum hoped would all be a phase. I don't think I would call myself anything, like you Anarasha I don't particularly like labels, not for myself anyway, it helps when locating certain sites, or clothes or music or whatever. I listen to so many different types of music and wear so many diff types of clothing it's hard to know what I could call myself. I am very drawn to the 'goth' subculture though, that's what I'm most comfortable with but I wouldn't call myself a goth as I'm sure alot of people wouldn't call me one and some would.

I think my dad is really proud of me, I mean obviously he'd prefer if I was 'normal' but I turned out good and decent and my brother's an asshole who causes him constant stress. He's never really tried to stop me being who I want to be, wheras my mum would make the odd 'your not wearing that are you' comment. She's ok now though, she does still bring up putting 'normal' clothes on my daughter but that's rare now. I think they are both just pleased I'm happy and married to a fantastic man and have a lovely home etc.

The rest of the family took it as a joke / phase at first then gradually accepted that I was a little strange. My aunt once commented that her son who she'd reunited with after he was adopted out was a 'weirdo' like me, that made me laugh more then insult me. I haven't really had friends in my life, a few people who I would hang around with at school but not the sort of people I would confide in, they were shocked, but that's mainly because I lost touch with them for a few years so it was more of a dramatic change for them then it was for my parents.

That was a little long winded, sorry I have a tendancy to do that, I go on and on sometimes, anyway that was my life story.

[Lapin]

I never turned gothic. I was always a weird kid, and then my Mummy left me in the care of my gothic cousin. I never stood a chance.

[††BlackRose††]

Well everyone already knew about my vampire obsession before I suppose people considered me "goth". I just heard the music one day by accident and loved it. I suppose it was for me and gradually I got exposed to a lot of the other music.

My mom just thinks that I am trying to be like my cousins which by the way is SOOOO untrue. They go through the whole stages and they prefer weirder music in my opinion. LOL. No offense of course XD.

So basically she controls me a lot so in terms of what to wear I wear clothing from stores that makes other people think that I am goth, but my parents are in denial or they are completely oblivious.

I'm sure that she will freak out on me if I ever decide to try out DIYs or anything. :P

[prophecyofdoom]

I don't think my mother minded the music I listened to or the clothes I wore..... She's a hippie... Although she would've been thrilled if I'd loved pink frilly things, and she was always trying to get me to paint my room some shade of pastel. When I moved out, she painted my old bedroom pink, and put photos of me everywhere along with dolls and tea sets, like a monument to the kind of daughter she wished she'd had....

[psyches_reflection]

I don't think my family were suprised, really. I'd always been a bit 'odd', and had an obsession with dressing 'like a witch' when I was younger - all black, long hair and lots of jangly jewellery! I was your cliche spooky child too, mostly through my grandmother's influence. She used to come round every friday and saturday night so that my parents could go out, and she'd tell my siblings and I ghost stories. She rules

As for visual changes, my family were mostly fine with it. My mother, however, was completely appalled. She once grounded me for a week for buying a choker (!!!) because it makes me look "like a sl*t". We once had a very interesting evening, about six months after she ran out on us, where she came round to pick me up to go the pub (attempt at reconcilliation, and it was one of the few oppurtunities I had at the time to see my younger sister). She looked me up and down, forced her way into the house quickly and declared she wasn't going anywhere with me looking so sh*tty. She spent the next half hour basically laughing at me in my eyelinered, backcombed and really rather modest glory before I could get her to leave.

My dad has always been fine with it, though he's very tetchy about piercings and tattoos. He still doesn't know about my tattoos, but they're not in places I normally show so it doesn't matter too much. Otherwise, he's fine - as he sees it, I'm far more modest and elegant than most of th young girls you see these days. Likewise with my aunts and uncles on his side, and all of my cousins, and my mother's parents. I'm referred to as being "well turned out, if a little odd."

(I've been away a while, but I'm back now. Just so you know )

[XxZanexX]

I don't really have the outward appearance of most goth people. I really love the goth-styles of dressing (More cyber-goth, though, is my taste.) but I'm a bit heavy (read:fat) and it's hard to find plus-sized clothes that fit the look I'd be shooting for, plus when I DO find something I tend to find it way beyond my budget. I mean, it's not godawful expensive, but it's more than I'm willing to spend on clothes I probably wouldn't wear often.

I work for the government and given my position they can fire me at any time for any reason (Yay temporary work. -.-) and I know they'd take offense to my dressing "out of the norm."

I've always sort of embraced other types of goth culture; the literature, music, etc. I love to go to clubs that play Industiral and EBM music and stuff and just watch goth people dance and listen to kickass music but I always feel out of place in blue jeans and a hoody.

But yeah, I sort of accessorize in a sort of goth way and I do dye my hair back and dress in generally darker colors but most people don't see it as being "goth." My sister sometimes makes fun of my bracelets and such but that's just because she's my older sister and that's what older sisters are for.

I once was listening to, I don't know, maybe KMFDM in my car with my friend and he turned to me and was like "You know what I think's neat about you? (Yes, he did say "neat." ) You don't dress like the things you like." I don't think he has a problem with goth people but he just thought it was odd that I dressed like everyone else but when you got back to, like, my room it was just decked out in goth stuff.

I used to listen to a lot of Rammstein, which I know isn't goth but still, it tends to be lumped in by those not "in the know," so to speak and my mother took issue with my playing nothing but "Nazi music" all the time. *rolls eyes*

I once was sitting at a Taco Bell wearing blue jeans and a red t-shirt. At the time I had my natural golden-brown hair and was entirely without any goth accessories. But yeah, I was sitting at Taco Bell eating delicious greasy food when a kid all dressed in black with a huge trench coat comes up to me and starts talking to me. He eventually was like "Uh, so, where do people like us hang out in this town? I'm new here and don't know any other goth kids."

I guess I just naturally exude a goth vibe. <.<

Long post . . . lol

[KontanKarite]

Zane, I'm not surprised in the least, really.

[XxZanexX]

Originally Posted by KontanKarite

Zane, I'm not surprised in the least, really.

What do you mean? Surprised about what? *is kind of out of it today*

[KontanKarite]

The guy asking you where you hang out.

[XxZanexX]

Ah, yeah. I was a bit miffed. I spent the rest of the day trying to figure out what I was doing so I could create some sort of Goth Beacon and make more cool friends.

[Cicero]

I didn't really get reactions, it was too gradual for that.

My mother was always going against the grain in highschool, so if anything she was relieved I was headed the same way, and we share similar taste in music. Same with most of my relatives, and if they weren't relieved they were just oblivious. My friends have never seemed to care much - I don't think they were particularly surprised.