What reactions did you get? - Page 2

Mollins · 09-27-2007, 06:34 PM

My parents didn't really care, the most I get is a comment along the lines of
'you look a fucking mess'

But I get them in non-ghothy clothing too, so I don't really give a shit.

thedoll · 09-27-2007, 06:47 PM

I went to Catholic school until middle school, where my mom emptied her CD collection and gave me her Sex Pistols, The Cure, and Prodigy albums. I decided I wanted to look like Robert Smith for my new school year. Mom didn't mind, as in Catholic school I was always a little off. I got really into these cd's and then ventured into each of the subcultures they represented.

I also loved Ginger Spice, from the Spice Girls when I was younger and I think that led to my love of leingerie

how gawth!

soveryfragile · 09-27-2007, 07:25 PM

Well, my mom was the one who had a problem with it. It seems like most of us had problems with our moms protesting our styles. I have always been goth. I don't believe you turn goth or learn goth. It's you, it's who you are. But I haven't always dressed this way or listened to goth music.

I started off as a spooky kid, I suppose. Listening to metal and punk. Dressing in Tripp pants from Hot Topic, band Tee's, and arm warmers. My mom always thought of my clothes as less than attractive. Especially during this faze. This was around 8th-10th grade. The kids at my high-school that dressed similar to how I did were called "thrashers". Now, where they got that term for us, I have no clue. But I just knew I was called a "thrasher", whatever that was. I didnt get ridiculed because it seemed there were so many of us "thrashers" at my school. We did seem to clump together but we mingled with other groups also.

I really started learning about the gothic subculture from a friend that was in a class with me. He would tell me about his favorite bands, which were The Cruxshadows, London After Midnight, and Jack off Jill. He eventually sent me a mp3 of a Cruxshadows song and I was in love with it. I downloaded all the Cuxshadows music I could find. And from there I dont know how It evolved, I just know who I am, what I like, and call myself goth, and am never ashamed of it. My mom never has had a problem with my music though. She lets me and my sister blast it through the house whenever we want practically. And my dad, well hes never had a problem with any of it because he is into classic rock, hair metal, etc... And is more like let them do what they want to do as long as they don't get hurt.

Now I believe she has learned this is just me and she can't stop me from being my own person. But my next task is my grandparents....what fun. lol Wish me luck on that.

XxZanexX · 09-27-2007, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anarasha

I will check those out soon (: thanks for the tip

DEFINITELY check out KMFDM, of those listed. Most all those bands she listed are great but, though I've been a fan of KMFDM for quite some time I just re-fell in love with them since Tohuvabohu, their most recent album. <3

I would also add Nightwish to the list, if you have no problem with female vocalists.

Anarasha · 09-27-2007, 11:56 PM

Oooh soveryfragile o.o Gl on the grandparents.
My grandparents STILL comment on whatever new addition I come up with to my look :P
Oh, when I got my undercut done the comments from everyone never seemed to stop :P
Bad puns, comments about when I was gonna remove the rest, did the haircut fail, did the haircutting machine break and blah blah blah :P
But I think all of you have very valid points. You never "turn" goth, you catch interrest and "transform" slowly.

LaBelleDameSansMerci · 09-28-2007, 12:08 AM

My friends weren't really phased. Before I started "going goth," I pretty much wore all blue. My wardrobe just got darker, and I started wearing funny makeup.
My mom wasn't too pleased, and my dad's kept his opinion to himself, generally, and I always tone down for my grandparents, and often for my parents too.

dark_dragon_of_ice · 09-28-2007, 12:19 AM

I'm sick of people who think their born goth.
Surely if you hear gothic rock one day and you really like it .....and like alot of the gothic rock bands that you hear after...wouldn't that be turning goth. I mean turning into something doesn't have to be a quick change it can be gradual.
Heck turning /changing over you life time is a completely natural thing..people change and evolve.
On topic!! My parents didn't care much and I don't think they noticed due to my gradual shift that was even hard for me to pick up XD.
My friends think im crazy, so they expect anything out of me..one of my friends is still thinking I'm going to wear a corset to school. (maybe I will for him XD)

Anarasha · 09-28-2007, 12:28 AM

Haha :P He doesn't think you will, he HOPES you will :P

dark_dragon_of_ice · 09-28-2007, 12:29 AM

The point in that is that im a male XD

Anarasha · 09-28-2007, 12:31 AM

... ... O_O
Then he must be gay or something :P

dark_dragon_of_ice · 09-28-2007, 12:34 AM

LOl the funny thing is a constantly try to hug him/ make contact with him to see his funny reaction XD

soveryfragile · 09-28-2007, 06:22 PM

I do belive you are born goth. Goth is not just about the music or the style. It is also a way of being, a way of feeling, a way of looking at life.

NachtSorcier · 09-28-2007, 06:45 PM

I wouldn't call what I was a "spooky kid," but I was somewhat of a poser for awhile when I was discovering myself at that all-important age of 16. I was intrigued by what people called "goth," but I didn't really know what it was. I just wore a lot of black and listened to Kiss (I still like them, actually).

I had been wearing black since I was 14, though. I didn't have a reason, I just liked it. I didn't call myself goth or anything else, I was just what I was.

During that 16th year, I began to really study the gothic subculture: I downloaded some of the essential bands' songs (Bauhaus, Siouxsie, et al) and I liked what I heard. The rest is history.

My mom never really cared. She thought my music was "noise," but she was an 70s-80s kid so she understood. She was kind of like Hamlet's mom, really, when she told me I should wear more color, but she never really objected. She just didn't want me to be alienated. The only things she didn't like were when I wore eyeliner, ratted my hair and wore nail polish, but again she just didn't want me to be made fun of.

My stepdad never said anything, surprisingly enough.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soveryfragile

I do belive you are born goth. Goth is not just about the music or the style. It is also a way of being, a way of feeling, a way of looking at life.

Care to explain what you mean?

Graveyard.Crow · 09-28-2007, 06:51 PM

She means exactly what she said.
SoveryFragile
I think you will find a lot of people attacking you like they did me when I tried to say that Gothic is supposed to be deeper than just music. Then it turned out everyone's idea of it WAS just music. Anyway, if anyone attacks her for it, I'll be really pissed off.
My guess is you are into the artistic side of Gothic, like I am, which is a different defenition of the word really.

Graveyard.Crow · 09-28-2007, 07:05 PM

As far as reactions. I was too worried about my mother being upset when I turned away from Christianity to worry about what she thought about the way I looked.
First of all I never gave it a second thought really. I didn't even know that I dressed any more tacky than anyone until people started telling me, so it wasn't something I tried to do.
Second of all I never went through a phase where I screamed at my parents for not being able to understand my DARK SOUL, so we never had problems there. My friends, I don't know, never heard anything from them really, probably because everyone expected "it" from me.
I was also worried they would be ashamed to be around me when I told them I was bi, and everyone was surprisingly supportive.
Man. I don't know what everyone else is complaining about. Just do what you want and don't care how people react. They get over things eventually and if they don't, you don't need to hang out with shallow pricks like that anyway.

NachtSorcier · 09-28-2007, 07:05 PM

I'm not attacking anyone. I just asked her to explain what she meant, just like I would anyone who makes a claim without backing it up. If she can give a satisfactory answer of why she feels that there's more to the Gothic subculture than fashion and music, then I'd be glad to hear it.

I think most of us can agree that the music is the pinnicle of the subculture, whereas fashion, art and literature take a backseat, as it were. The word "Gothic" did after all become applied to a subculture after Bauhaus debuted and a, in my opinion, new form of postpunk came about.

Graveyard.Crow · 09-28-2007, 07:11 PM

Maybe she means Gothic, as in a person who is interested in the literature genre as apposed to post punk subculture. Like I said before, more than one meaning, and the first one doesn't refer to the subculture at all, so technically she doesn't need to back anything up.
And she means you are born with the mindset (I'm guessing), obviously you are not born with ANY music because that's something you have to hear after you become a little older.

Breathless Horror · 09-28-2007, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

Second of all I never went through a phase where I screamed at my parents for not being able to understand my DARK SOUL, so we never had problems there.

That actually happens!?! I thought that was just a stupid stereotype, the only time I yell at my family is when I have my music too loud to speak normally.

As to reactions, I did, and still do get "You look like a fucking idiot" from my parents. But thats okay, as I'm sure they'll survive.

LaBelleDameSansMerci · 09-28-2007, 07:49 PM

I get a lot of double-takes and blatantly astonished/afronted stares on campus, but the people I know have no problem with it.

Graveyard.Crow · 09-28-2007, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breathless Horror

That actually happens!?! I thought that was just a stupid stereotype, the only time I yell at my family is when I have my music too loud to speak normally.

As to reactions, I did, and still do get "You look like a fucking idiot" from my parents. But thats okay, as I'm sure they'll survive.

Yes that actually happens
maybe not In THOSE words but there are people who'd rather just think their parents aren't "dark" enough to understand them than realize that not everyone has to like what they like.

Lucretia_my_Reflection · 09-28-2007, 08:21 PM

My mum didn't really care to much shes a bi hippie, It just annoys her to see people ridiculing me. I have been more confident and feeling more at ease with myself. Although i still do not like to many photographs being taken of me. I love the goth community. Although it was a bit of a shock to her because i use to dress like Barbie.

Graveyard.Crow · 09-28-2007, 08:44 PM

Aweee
hehe
What do you mean people take pictures of you
just randomly?

LadyLucretia · 09-28-2007, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soveryfragile

I do belive you are born goth. Goth is not just about the music or the style. It is also a way of being, a way of feeling, a way of looking at life.

So are you born preppy too, or born a metalhead? Why are goths the only group that gets assigned these "deeper" meanings?

Many old school goths I know agree that it is more than just superficial, and I agree, but this whole "goth is my soul" type of dramaticizing just makes us look like we take ourselves too seriously, IMHO. Sure goth has an ambiance, an atmosphere, and a very rich aesthetic - and maybe it can be soul stirring at times - but if it is an outlook, then why does every goth I know seem to have a different philosophy on life? If it is a way of feeling, then why are some goths neurotic, some laid back, some hyperactive, etc.?

I think most people romanticize the scene either because they haven't had much real life exposure to it, or because they are dramatic people who dramatize everything, including goth. If anyone would like to provide a counter example I'd be interested.

Overall, though, I think making these sorts of statements is damaging to the scene, because it makes goths sound like an exotic species that "normal" people could never understand. It sounds pretentious and focuses on how goth makes you different, when really most goths are fairly normal, well adjusted people who just have odd tastes. Personally, I don't think that being a goth defines or even affects how I view the world, except that I have a higher appreciation for Halloween sales.

MaverickZero · 09-28-2007, 09:05 PM

Meh. My dad and sister flipped out when I started dressing like I do now. They asked me why I've changed, and I told them nothings changed, it's just I can afford to buy my own clothing now

They're still pissed though, because they believe I'll never get anywhere with how I present myself and I'll get into drugs and be homeless. My dad called it a childish phase, which kind of pissed me off. Especially when growing up I was forced to dress and look a certain way, now when I'm being myself openly and comfortable all of a sudden it's a problem.

They're the most leftist of my immediate family anyways.

raggedyanne · 09-28-2007, 09:07 PM

I like her idea of goth. I say that I'm still in my babybat phase; but I could also say that one never stops learning. ; P
I do believe that while goth is deeper than just music, we express some of our ideas through the music. My parents are waiting for me to get through this "phase" but I think they'll get used to it sooner or later.