Reincarnation of the poetry thread

[Tails]

Restless souls
Fearless lies
Ever lasting times
And those who have no faith in their dreams
With smoke in their eyes.

You say one
I say entire world,
And they sed a word
The one witch never gona be heard,
If you won`t give some afford.

Spreads the disease
And why do we live?
Instead of giving a hope
We only torment those who don`t want to be.

Shine my little star,
Shine my little star, with silver wings in dark nights skie
Lose your sorrow, I won't let you die alone.

Can you hear this cool vibration?
Once again, I'd like to go to revolution
Once again, I`d like to end this ever lasting lie of future.

[cyberdark]

I write in spanish, so .. well I will make a lot of mistakes, and probably say things without much sense... but you know... if I dont try I would never do it... so I will just start firing...

Removing your fine skin
my eyes colapse into ivory
with the senses of my kind
I taste your memory

I found it white, clear, hard.. dead.

As dreaming eyes my thoughts follow your bloody tracks
feeling the elusive touch of your sand I evolve into a lie
Like a lake of forgiveness my nightmare awakes and attacks
its wave of broken ships, blurs my eyes and mind
just a minute later I can only awake in flashbacks.

[raggedyanne]

his eyes
staring at me
from an incomplete portrait
what made the artist
lay down her brush
was it passion
for he wooed her
from the plain artist’s chair
was it pain
for he knew her
though they did not know where
was it life
for he killed her
brush through the mind
the portrait
unfinished
save for his eyes

I had this short story in my mind and it wouldn't come out except in poetry form. Please critique.

[d.Nox]

Originally Posted by raggedyanne

his eyes
staring at me
from an incomplete portrait
what made the artist
lay down her brush
was it passion
for he wooed her
from the plain artist’s chair
was it pain
for he knew her
though they did not know where
was it life
for he killed her
brush through the mind
the portrait
unfinished
save for his eyes

I like it a lot! It reminds me of "My Last Duchess" for some reason. But I do have one niggling critique: the line "Though they did not know where" seems forced and vague--I'm not sure what it's role in the story is.

[prophecyofdoom]

Originally Posted by raggedyanne

his eyes
staring at me
from an incomplete portrait
what made the artist
lay down her brush
was it passion
for he wooed her
from the plain artist’s chair
was it pain
for he knew her
though they did not know where
was it life
for he killed her
brush through the mind
the portrait
unfinished
save for his eyes

Wow. Reading this really reminded me of my sister, and made my heart ache (in a good way).

[raggedyanne]

my self destructive lover
snorting and smoking your way
to an untimely demise
do you weep
as you drag my emotions
behind your trail
of mishandled situations

[MollyMac]

No one seems to write
Nantucket Haiku. I guess
the obscene should rhyme.

[††BlackRose††]

Distant places,
Distant times,
Just close your eyes
And let yourself be entwined
Across the oceans of your mind.
To the lands of perfection.

This land is yours to rule,
Everyone else are tool.
Build or wreck,
Remember or forget.

Dream, my little dreamer
For your world is much sweeter.
Close your eyes to the world.

It's just something I wrote not too long ago. I know I'm no poet, but I gave it a try :P.

[mfiend1138]

Lucidity

Grays conforming to the existence of the colored mind
Drifting in the solace state of solidity and over anxiety
Dream before the awakening
Before that rebel lie upon the face
has turned to frown
allow the happiness of unreality
to display that which is not able
Rather empty is this place awake
Dreaming in the world of thought
my thinking thought to break
programmed me is all that was you
Bits and bytes beguiled
Drunken droughts of drugs construed
as weak sustained but mild
a beautiful face left in the rain
forever upon my life shall drain
and gone the you that is not me
perpetual in my mind will be

-R.

[††BlackRose††]

Well here's a part of the poem. It's too long to write all of it. hehe. I hate my stuff, all of you are so much more better than me!

...
The fire raging inside,
Lighting your soul.
The heart turns cold,
My tears run dry,
No shadows to cry.
Your blood is to flow,
You ashes are to fly.
Oh cruel oppressor
Your time has run out.
...

[korinna5555]

Originally Posted by korinna5555

Critique please.. I may be submitting this to my school for a poetry contest..

Green Man

A mighty oak rises in the middle
Of a great, ancient wood.
His gnarled arms stretch up to the sky,
Clothed in a finery of delicate greens.
His grey, wrinkled skin bears scars
From battles with the elements
Over hundreds and hundreds of years.
Deep, winding roots tunnel into dark, moist soil
Grounding the oak to his home.
Knots whirled in bark are his wise eyes,
A hole his unspeaking mouth.
He peers out in silence, always watching.
Green man, guardian.
God of the forest.

~Korinna

Well.. a revised version of this was submitted to the contest, and I am now....

PUBLISHED!!!!!!!!!!!



HOORAYYYY!




*copy that poem and I kill you* >_>

[††BlackRose††]

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I wish to get something published in the near future... we will see what will happen with that.

*throws a party for you, since I have nothing better to do. * :P

[Darcnyss]

An Ill-fated night

Alone...Alone against the tide I stand
Just like so many times before.
This wretched husk of a man, torn asunder by the realities of life.
Angels and demons all point as they laugh at my pain
No respite awaits this broken soul
Now the night is closing in.

They come again from deep within their darkest pits of shadow
They tease, they taunt, they gouge my flesh then soothe my pain with kisses
I beg them stop but deep within I lust for their affection
With every passing moment this torturous ecstasy becomes more and more unbearable
I feel my sanity slipping away as the night closes in.

[korinna5555]

Originally Posted by ††BlackRose††

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I wish to get something published in the near future... we will see what will happen with that.

*throws a party for you, since I have nothing better to do. * :P

Thanks!
I am so excited..

[GothicChristian]

What a fool you are.
Is the hole you've dug not deep enough?
Why, then, do you continue?
Is our misery worth it all?
Or have you not noticed?
You cannot climb back up,
You'll never be trusted.

The things that you've done,
Cannot, nor will they, be condoned.
I am not a fool,
Your lies cannot hide what is you.
The tears I have cried for you,
They cleared my sight.
I see you for you.
You'll never be trusted.



I wrote that just now. I typed it as I thought the words, so it's not my best.

Edit: My brother just called... so, yeah... that's who it's about.

[Delkaetre]

Silvered tongues and sweetest words
The lost to lead the lambs astray
Hope and patience unrewarded
Logic long forgot this day

Follow the silvered serpent words
Life shall be the eternal trial
See no future, see no end
Wander, herded, for a while

We will wait, we will not follow
We are not the serpent-blind
We shall see the day's bright sunlight
We will keep to our own mind

Follow serpents if you wish to
Follow liars, crooks and cheats
Deep and lost down the alleys...
We're now free to roam the streets


Damned if I know what it's about, it was in my head and wanted to be written down. It has no title, but it feels like it's about the folly of believing those in power who try to sway us with false arguments and broken truths. I think it's more political than religious, but I may be wrong- it's open to debate.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Delkaetre

Silvered tongues and sweetest words
The lost to lead the lambs astray
Hope and patience unrewarded
Logic long forgot this day

Follow the silvered serpent words
Life shall be the eternal trial
See no future, see no end
Wander, herded, for a while

We will wait, we will not follow
We are not the serpent-blind
We shall see the day's bright sunlight
We will keep to our own mind

Follow serpents if you wish to
Follow liars, crooks and cheats
Deep and lost down the alleys...
We're now free to roam the streets

I love it! It rolls off the tongue whilst keeping it's aim true.
Well done.

[Delkaetre]

I'm glad you like it. It'd be lyrics to a song, likely with the 'wander, herded, for a while' verse as the chorus, but I have no musical talent and thus can't do anything with it.
*curses lack of ability to sing/ play guitar/ use keyboard/ use synthesisers*

[GothicChristian]

Originally Posted by Delkaetre

I'm glad you like it. It'd be lyrics to a song, likely with the 'wander, herded, for a while' verse as the chorus, but I have no musical talent and thus can't do anything with it.
*curses lack of ability to sing/ play guitar/ use keyboard/ use synthesisers*

When I was reading it, I accidentally put a tune to it...

[A Simple Poet]

Ehh ... I felt like this the other day, so I wrote it down ... Too much bloody alliteration like freaking Peter Piper but, oh well.

Scattered Puppies

Why do Presbyterians feel like elephants
in my mind where
scattered puppies perilously plague my soul?

Paul, you put not the pain precisely in perfect prose.
You wrestled not the Web where I
am just another bug,

squashed by constellations spinning
in happier thoughts, far above ashes of cigarettes.


High …

funny that.

[Delkaetre]

Moonchild
"O, curse these glaring orange lights
Let me walk unhampered
'Neath silvery fullmoon light.
My teeth, they long for flesh
My lips, for sweet skin's caress.
O, let me walk unfettered, wild,
In gleaming silver night,
Moonchild"

Part vampires-and-werewolves-in-subconscious, part hatred of those vile orange sodium lights that people infest roads with, and part Nephilim reference.

[Undead_Stagehand]

Nice. I, too, dislike those sodium-vapor lights.


Auxin

Fetid ground, a grassy mound
Ochre-yellow mess
Order of abscissery
Layer begins senesce.
Icon of time’s mastery
Sharing loathsome dread
Hating its blind history

Laying on its bed.
Echo’s wand’ring fable
Aches into its veins.
Virtue’s cloaked in sable
Entrenched in own remains.
Strength alone never will suffice

[raggedyanne]

An ode to my guys lovely ADD. Never make out while the Matrix is on. As soon as a fight scene starts . . .

graceful digits
brush over fleshy planes
slipping stealthily
beneath crepe and lace
wrapping themselves
'tween silken strands
exposing the pulsing font
just begging to be toyed with
alas the digits withdraw
pleasure postponed

[Born Again]

Grace, sweet tint of white.
radiate your innocence and shun the dogged.
For she who opens herself willingly, thrust the shield and spare the seed.
She does not perceive the nature of life, to love, to behold one's own.
Veil her green euphoria, for it summons the fiery deceiver,
To the thief who beams lustful, might you forever eye the nocturnal,
For you do not sense the glory within a blossom of such sacred will.
Beneath the One' who offers you eternity...
Shield this gift,
And release it to purity.

[Born Again]

A triolet that I recently wrote:

In God's will, I shall welcome you
If heart beholds the might.
To share this eternity fair and true
In God's will, I shall welcome you
Whose past is filled with promising virtue,
To distinguish the man from the slight
In God's will, I shall welcome you
If heart beholds the might.


This heart will forever be unto you,
In passion, in life I will succeed.
And with night's of strife and rue,
This heart will forever be unto you.
For life is only a grayish hue,
When One' is lost my heart may bleed.
This heart will forever be unto you,
In passion, in life I will succeed.