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Concerns
Okay. Where to begin.
I want to be a police officer. I want to do this because I want to make the world a better place, I want to help people, I want to do something worthwhile with my life and I want to find out if there is anything bigger and better out there, and as police work is so much more than a job, it makes me feel that it is one of those things.
Anyway, I've wanted to do it since I was wee (with a brief gap when I wanted to join the Army or the Navy or a Bond super villain) and about a month ago I was squee-ing with delight when I got on my course for the university of Glamorgan's Police Sciences degree.
And it is here I start to fret a little bit. And then I fret a little bit more about my actual fretting. Allow me to explain.
For a time I was worried that my being different from everyone else in the class (and boy am I) would be a problem. However, if this is a problem for anyone you could argue they have no place being there in the first place.
So I start to worry that I'm deliberately making it a problem, like I have a cross to bear or something, you know?
My mother did tell me I should make an effort to 'fit in' at the start at least, because my preferred threads might cause... Concern in other members of my class.
And blow me down if she wasn't right.
Hence my position as a Johnny No Friends. Not that it bothers me of course as it gives me more time to work on... Well... Work.
Although it does have the rather nasty side effect as ending up as the butt of the classes' jokes more often than I would like.
I'm the first to understand that my 'individuality' has no place in uniform. I'm willing to in effect, sacrifice who I am, for half of the day to provide a service to the public.
I just hope they know that. >_>
Should I try to fit in more? I don't know, I think it's a bit late for that. If they can't accept me for who I am, they arn't really worth my time anyway. It would just be nice if there wasn't quite so many of them...
I do apologise, I've just ended up rambling about nothing in particular really. What am I really worried about?
That I'm deliberately making life difficult for myself by being... Well... Me.
Oddly enough, there is a small legion of interesting lovely alternative types doing the forensic science course.
I blame NCIS personally.
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And then a chubby puppy with teensy legs rolls past which makes me giggle like a little school girl and forget what I was thinking about...
Breathing heard just below the floorboards.
The sense of something terrible rousing itself from
from its torpor.
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