Social Anxiety

mindless1 · 08-23-2007, 04:55 PM

I hope no one is offended by this but I wanted someplace to vent about this. I can't seem to strike up any conversations with people anymore. I'm not sure what it is, but I get in these mindsets where I can't even move and I cant look at people. Ive never been so anxious before and yet I can't stand being alone. i hate being seperated from people yet I cant stand to be around them.

I dont know what I should do, smack myself in the head or something, snap out of it. I'm just starting school and I dont even know what to do. I say hi to people but they dont seem to hear me. I'm looking at people but they're not looking back. I have trouble with occupying myself...im so spacey...well that's it. Nothing else is bad...I dont want to whine. I want to vent...but who knows. whatever. Anyones suggestions as to what might help would be loved.

Anguelon · 08-23-2007, 05:00 PM

You just look at the world differently. Don't wait for yourself to "feel" people, you have to make them "feel" you. I assume you're probably reminiscing something during this period which is causing you to be in such an oblivious state of mind. I , personally, constantly am in this state of mind. The whole point is eye contact. If you feel unconfident, people will sense this energy. Oh and no one is offended, it is the whining forum you know.

mindless1 · 08-23-2007, 05:52 PM

The thing is that I can't focus when I'm around a lot of people. especially people I dont know. I'm afraid someone will start harassing me or something. i dont know. Like I'm afraid that I'll be immediatly judged and then branded...and no one will look at me. I dont know what I'm doing but in friendly places people usually just go up and approach me. They say hi and ask me how I'm doing. Mostly that's how I am exept lately I havent been this way. I dont have much on my mind so I'm not much for conversation...and yet I want a good friend. I might be too deep. I am such a personal person that I can say anything to close friends and nothing to random people.

DeathChii · 08-23-2007, 05:59 PM

I have social anxiety too =P
Sometimes I just avoid the situation completely
and sometimes I just push and push and push myself >.<

mindless1 · 08-23-2007, 06:08 PM

What do you do when there's nothing to occupy yourself with? Do you read a book or something? I'm not sure of what to do when I'm around people but can't talk to them...do I just go for a walk? Go to the library?

DeathChii · 08-23-2007, 06:13 PM

Yeah I usualy pretend like I have to leave or say I need to study or something if I'm at school... then I just go and listen to music and do my homework. Or like I go straight home after or out to lunch etc.

mindless1 · 08-24-2007, 04:02 PM

It's terrible. I hate to stand out in a crowd.

Reikikuro · 09-12-2007, 10:12 AM

I used to be like you. I wouldn't talk to any one and I was very alone. I had the exact same problem until one day, I said "Screw it" and I started talking to poeple. That didn't work out though. People just don't like me. You could try it though. Pick up a social Psychology book and read up on human interactions. Learn to read people. Take a scientific approach. Or you could do something else. My advice may not be the best, but you could try it.

mindless1 · 09-15-2007, 09:50 AM

Yea, I do that sometimes. I just randomly approach people it doesn't seem to work. People are like, who the fuck are you?? I might be one people just don't like as well.

kimaru · 09-15-2007, 10:19 AM

I know excatly how you feel...the exact same thing is happening to me! I managed to strike up a small conversation with someone, then she ditched me and the next day she pretends she never met me. It's been 2 weeks and no-ones even said hi and when I say hi they don't seem to notice.

JCC · 09-15-2007, 10:20 AM

As a member of society, I can tell you that you're not missing anything good by abstaining from conversing with people, in fact, you're probably saving yourself from a lot of annoyance at how stupid a lot of people are.

kimaru · 09-15-2007, 10:26 AM

Thats true I guess, especially when half the people in my classes are high out of their minds...

DarkGentleman · 09-16-2007, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reikikuro

I used to be like you. I wouldn't talk to any one and I was very alone. I had the exact same problem until one day, I said "Screw it" and I started talking to poeple. That didn't work out though. People just don't like me. You could try it though. Pick up a social Psychology book and read up on human interactions. Learn to read people. Take a scientific approach. Or you could do something else. My advice may not be the best, but you could try it.

Same thing here, only I was careful on who I approached (or who approached me), and I have been rejected by some people. I am kinda of a shy person myself, but once I'm relaxed or even get the courage to go up front, then I would do whatever.
I can be the most loyal, trustworthy and true friend anyone can have if they knew me more. Once I find that if someone doesn't like me, then I either try again later or move on to making a new friend with someone else.
I do get a bit depressed when people don't talk to me when I was invited to some parties or get-togethers, basically I try to be patient with people till I know where things stand. I do welcome a good conversation with anyone that is willing to talk to me.
All I can say Mindless1, you just have to be yourself, be a little more open and not try to prove anything.

DarkGentleman · 09-16-2007, 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kimaru

I managed to strike up a small conversation with someone, then she ditched me and the next day she pretends she never met me. It's been 2 weeks and no-ones even said hi and when I say hi they don't seem to notice.

I'm curious if you go to a high school in the NW area in Calgary, perhaps you might know my daughter.
I recall she said on her first few days in high school, nobody hardly talked to her either until she met a goth girl in her Cosmetology class. They are in good aquintance terms now and I'm sure they will become friends later on.
One thing my daughter really hates is: backstabbers. She values her friendships as much I do mine.

kimaru · 09-17-2007, 07:29 PM

No I go to school in the SW, I used to live in the Nw but I just moved about a month ago.

It sucks, not only are people not talking to me, they won't sit at the same table as me now. At lunch there is a 3 or 4 seat gap around where
I sit and nobody sits there, they just move the chairs.

LaBelleDameSansMerci · 09-17-2007, 10:44 PM

I'd say try to relax, keep telling yourself that it doesn't matter what people you don't know think, etc., though I don't have much experience strictly with social anxiety, just general asocialness. One would have to ask my ex-friend about that.

Personally, I'm not sure if people don't want to be around me, but I usually assume they don't, even if I'm not feeling like they don't want to talk to me. I have a big problem with being shy. It takes about 2 weeks away from my art classmates before I'm shy as hell with them again, despite this being the beginning of my third year. :/
I don't think my problem is so much with wanting to be social but not having anyone to be social with, it's more of a near-complete indifference as to whether I have anyone to talk to or not. I talk to some people cuz I either like them (very few in this category) or I feel it's my duty, but I'm quite content to sit alone in my studio or my room and do whatever.
And when I'm in a big crowd, I get so irritated that I want to throw/shoot something. Most people, it seems, are either being stupid, selfish, loud, or obscenely arrogant, or some combination of the four. I have to go to meals either really early or really late when not many other people are there. Not so bad at clubs or stuff like that, but if I'm in a REALLY crowded store, or at the cafeteria, or somewhere like that, I just get really frustrated.

HellforgedX · 09-17-2007, 10:49 PM

I'm no help here. I don't do too good in crowds, I usually get really jumpy, paranoid, nervous, etc., and start getting cold sweats. And it's not just out in public, either. I get like that at friends' parties, my own parties, clubbing, the movies, anywhere where there is more than 5-10 people I don't know. I don't go out much anymore.
Good luck.

raggedyanne · 09-17-2007, 10:51 PM

I get really quiet and awkward around lot of people. I'm fine with public speaking and acting, but I get really paranoid in big crowds.

Reikikuro · 09-20-2007, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkGentleman

Same thing here, only I was careful on who I approached (or who approached me), and I have been rejected by some people. I am kinda of a shy person myself, but once I'm relaxed or even get the courage to go up front, then I would do whatever.

That is what I meant. He is right you should be careful of who you approach. honestly I learned how to talk to people by forums online. That is why I am always on them. I learned alot from online chatrooms and forums. if something went wrong I just change my identity. Everything is just trial and error.

Shadows_Jukebox · 10-30-2007, 02:36 PM

I had and still have the same promblem as you guys do. I'm very awkward around people I don't know well, I just don't click I'm extreemly shy and very quiet.
My current few friends only took me up to begin with out of pity, but then they managed to gain my confidence and now were all pretty cool with each other. I found the scientific way worked too well, I can't but help imagine people as test subjects, a classification my friends don't have.