I now pronounce you husband and bitch..?

Nevan · 11-13-2007, 12:59 AM

Man marries dog

New Delhi - A 33-year-old Indian man has married a female dog to atone for his sin of killing two canines more than a decade ago, a newspaper reported on Tuesday.

P Selvakumar, married the dog called Selvi at a wedding ceremony held in a temple in the eastern Sivaganga district on Sunday, the English-language Hindustan Times said in a report.

Witnesses said a village astrologer had suggested to Selvakumar that marrying a female dog would help cure various physical impairments that beset him after he killed two dogs 15 years ago.

The villager had killed two dogs when they were mating and strung their bodies from a tree.

"After that my legs and hands got paralysed and I lost hearing in one ear. Only recently, after treatment, I have managed to become mobile and that too with a crutch," he told the newspaper.

After the astrologer suggested the remedy for his suffering, Selvakumar got his relatives to find a stray bitch, which was given a bath and draped in a saree.

The man and dog then marched in a procession to a temple where Selvakumar tied the mangalsutra (sacred string) around the dog's neck and solemnised the marriage.

While the bridegroom and his relatives had a sumptuous meal, the bridal dog was given a bun.

Marriages between humans and other living beings are not uncommon in India and are mainly arranged by people in remote areas and villages to ward off "evil spells" and "bad omens".

Reports of parents marrying their children to a dog and marriages of girls with snakes have been reported from tribal districts in the eastern state of Orissa in the past few months.

Village elders say such marriages do not affect the childrens' life and they would be free to marry again later and did not need to divorce the animals. - Sapa-dpa

http://www.news24.com/News24/World/N...220050,00.html

Hah - I can't wait to see snapshots of their kids...

raggedyanne · 11-13-2007, 01:02 AM

Wow. New meaning to the term "getting stuck with a dogfaced bitch"

Nevan · 11-13-2007, 01:04 AM

Oh dear - here's another bizarre wedding story:

Teen marries hill

Ranchi - A teenage boy in a tribal village in eastern India wedded a hill in order to appease its goddess and remove a curse placed on his mother, said a report on Friday.

The boy, Robin, married a hill named Lakshmi after the goddess of prosperity in the presence of a large number of witnesses in Jharkand state, said the Hindustan Times.

The boy's mother, who had fallen and hurt herself while trying to climb the hill, believed the goddess was unhappy with her.

She started to pray to Lakshmi and after three months the deity visited her in a dream.

"The hill goddess asked me to get my son married with her. The marriage will help in getting rid of her curse," said Keswar Devi, who lives in Bordih village, about 170km southeast of the state capital Ranchi.

"I requested my son and he agreed for the marriage."

Villagers wash hill with water

On Tuesday, Robin wore a traditional bridegroom's outfit and set out on foot with a large festive party from his village to the hill three kilometres away.

The 400 villagers washed the hill with water and Robin placed a wreath at the top.

After the priest performed the wedding rituals, a reception was thrown by the groom's family.

"I have accepted the hill as my wife," said Robin. "I have no remorse."

A local anthropologist said it was not uncommon for tribal people to marry objects or animals.

"There are scores of examples that tribal people got married with trees, dogs and other animals," said former Ranchi University anthropology professor VS Uppadhyah.

"Their life is inextricably associated with nature."

http://www.news24.com/News24/World/N...013004,00.html

raggedyanne · 11-13-2007, 01:07 AM

And that people, is why we shouldn't worship things that make us stupid.

Nevan · 11-13-2007, 01:11 AM

I concur - raggedyanne for president!

HumanePain · 11-13-2007, 03:25 AM

I heard Vermont now recognizes the marriages as legal and binding. Now the dog is covered by the spouse's insurance and can get an abortion.

Nevan · 11-13-2007, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

I heard Vermont now recognizes the marriages as legal and binding. Now the dog is covered by the spouse's insurance and can get an abortion.

I don't know if I should find that funny or disturbing...

Renatus · 11-13-2007, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

I heard Vermont now recognizes the marriages as legal and binding. Now the dog is covered by the spouse's insurance and can get an abortion.

So now even marrige to inanimate objects and animals are taking priority over gay (human) couples getting married, I don't care what religion you are (except hindu maybe) I don't see how anyone can thing that is right.

spoon! · 11-13-2007, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

I heard Vermont now recognizes the marriages as legal and binding. Now the dog is covered by the spouse's insurance and can get an abortion.

Wouldn't that kind of cross over into bestiality, even if it is legal?

HumanePain · 11-13-2007, 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nevan

I don't know if I should find that funny or disturbing...

I was being factitious.

Tam Li Hua · 11-13-2007, 07:17 AM

Wow...the world just gets stranger and weirder the more I discover about it..

Underwater Ophelia · 11-13-2007, 08:40 AM

I hope he doesn't try to consumate the marriage.

drewsilla · 11-13-2007, 08:45 AM

Wow, now he can say, and mean it, "My mother-in-law is a real bitch!"

And as for the boy who married a hill, I just hope he didn't go fuck a gopher hole to consummate the union. *shudders*

Nevan · 11-13-2007, 10:23 PM

^ 'hump the hill' - is there an expression like that?

And as for screwing the pooch...

Wormboy · 11-13-2007, 10:45 PM

CALIGULA!!!!!!

hahahahahahahaha

oh my god a hill are you fucking kidding me?

you know for every nice indian i meet i hear an idiotic story that makes them seem like a bunch of third world savages

CptSternn · 11-14-2007, 02:28 PM

Yeah I'd like to marry this pie.

</ Peter Griffin Voice>

Nevan · 11-14-2007, 10:14 PM

In that case I'll marry caffeine.

After all, we've been having a steady (minimum 8 encounters a day) affair for over 12 years now, I only think I should do the right thing.

AutoGenocite · 11-19-2007, 01:08 PM

Those will be some ugly children.

Haha, seriously though, is it so hard to find a person and marry? Can't we stay with our own species? Or at least in the boy and the hill case, animate?