how to explain 'what is a goth?'

[crucifix]

I had to explain to a coworker today what a goth is. I explained to music, the subculture and things like that. But she kept nagging me about more. I told her I couldn't really explain what all goths like, but what I like and what I do. Does anyone else sometimes feel like they have a hard time explaining themselves?

[Godslayer Jillian]

Not really when they know me. I just tell them it's about the music and the rest is all me.

[raggedyanne]

I explain the basic history, music, and then hand them my copy of "What is Goth" by Voltaire. What can I say, I got lazy after the billionth time of explaining the dif between goths and emos.

[Duane]

Not too long ago, I explained to someone that it was basically a sub-culture built on the music of the same name..... well, I attempted to do so.

[Nevan]

Him: 'I know why goths wear black, they wear black because they're mourning.'
Me: 'Oh? So... what are they mourning about?'
Him: 'Well, why else would they be wearing black all the time?'
Me: 'Ooo Kay...'

Later

Me: 'By the way have you heard this song before?' (plays 'This Corrosion' by Sisters of Mercy)

After few minutes...

Him: 'Hey that's pretty good - I like the nice happy tune!' (taps foot to the beat)

Me: 'Actually, many goths are way into this sort of thing - this band - What's so mournful about this music?'

Him: While still happily tapping to 'hey now hey now now...' 'Well maybe but they wear black so they must be depressed or something.'

*Sigh*

I'm not even going to try. Let him believe what he may.

[DeathToLems]

When they ask me what is goth/ a goth?
I say you tell me.
It's funny when they try to explane somthing they dont know of.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by DeathToLems

When they ask me what is goth/ a goth?
I say you tell me.
It's funny when they try to explane somthing they dont know of.

So you're laughing at them when they admitted they didn't know what it was and actually cared to find out?
Wow.

[gothicusmaximus]

I don't mind explaining goth. I derive pleasure from the knowledge that someone considers me an authority on something, regardless of how insipid that thing may be.

[MollyMac]

I am just wondering why you feel compelled to explain yourself to someone who does not pay your bills.

[wonderland]

I try not to explain it. Generally, the word comes up around me only when other people bring it up. If someone else nearby overhears and asks, I let another person respond. Years of confusing attempts have led me to believe that Goth really can't be explained. It has to be seen, heard, or otherwise generally experienced. I can clarify an idea, but I won't explain it to somebody who has no basic understanding already. There's no way to accurately describe it, without leaving something out or sounding pretentious, or occupying about three days of your time.

[DepthsofSpace]

I've been asked this a few times recently. I usually just say, "It's music, and a culture that formed around it. Much like punk, or even country music". The country music connection helps out in Hickville, TN.

With people who like country music, some like to dress with blue jeans, a cowboy hat and boots, drive a pickup and go dancing at a country bar. That's their culture.

Goths, in general, like Goth Music (which is an break from punk rock), to dress in darker clothing and go to Goth clubs (or graveyards =P). That's our culture.

Of course there is a lot more to it, and I don't always phrase it that way, but that's the way I try to explain it. Make it relevent.

[Steppenwolf]

Originally Posted by crucifix

Does anyone else sometimes feel like they have a hard time explaining themselves?

Not really , because I don't consider myself a goth , and if I was one then what about the other 99% of me? .... How can you "explain" yourself?

If they really got curiosity , they'll google it ...

If someone ask me why I wear eye-liner and dress in black then I'll simply tell them is just fashion ... I've never said I'm goth and I'll never say it .

[Methadrine]

I tip my shades and give them a "You bothered me for THIS?"-look and then just say: Wikipedia.

They don't ask after that.

[Edward Strange]

I find one of the most common mistakes people make is to do with the music...
Everyone I know has thought it's the whole death-metal-screaming gig. And were quite pleasantly suprised when I demonstrated otherwise.

One of the hardest sorts of people to explain what Goth is, is young teenage alternateens I find!
There is one lady who is convinced that she is Goth because she listens to Slipknot and dresses in black and 'acts all spooky' and because he friends tell her so.
Which is fine, as long as she's happy, but it's the oft refusal to.. Well, maybe say they are wrong (as I'm not always right) but to do some bloody research!

I'm actually quite hypocritical of the way I talk about Goth, I understand and often tell people the only thing 'Goth' about me is that I listen to a certain genre of music.
Apart from that I'm just reading books/wearing clothes/whatever that may be considered Gothic because I just happen to like them anyway.
Despite all this though, a part of me keeps on wishing it was as awesome as aforementioned alternateens make it sound...

[Delkaetre]

I occasionally have to explain to relatives, and thus cannot tell them to wiki it. My grandmother does not own a computer on which she could wiki anything.
My explanations vary depending on who asks and what the exact question is. When they ask things like 'why would anyone make something that sounds like that?' I just say that no one can fathom the mind of musicians, also that it was the eighties. Otherwise, I go on about personal aesthetic, explain that I like this music and can't really fathom theirs, talk about politics influencing music and thus the music of Thatcherite Britain taking a turn for the depressed, and so on.

[DeathToLems]

Originally Posted by wonderland

I try not to explain it. Generally, the word comes up around me only when other people bring it up. If someone else nearby overhears and asks, I let another person respond. Years of confusing attempts have led me to believe that Goth really can't be explained. It has to be seen, heard, or otherwise generally experienced. I can clarify an idea, but I won't explain it to somebody who has no basic understanding already. There's no way to accurately describe it, without leaving something out or sounding pretentious, or occupying about three days of your time.

Thats what I was ment to say!
doh!

This is why I dont tell them. I let someone else explane it and see what they say. Then sigh and walk away.
Like the time I was waiting in line at a store and some pikie girl looked up at me and says "are you a goth?" I looked down and said "no" (I'me not explaning it to a pikie) and the older pikie girl said "whats a goth?" the younger one whispers somthing. I roll my eyes and walk out the shop.

What would a pikie say if i said "are you a pikie?"? I probably would have been beat up.
Some things shouldent be asked and some things shouldent be answerd.

[wonderland]

A girl once walked up to a friend and me while we were standing in a line at Disneyland and asked if we were "like, Goth or Punk." I told her that if she had to ask, we were probably neither one.

[Draconysius]

I tell them it's all about the music, and proceed to drop names of the best-known in the genre. the Cure, Siouxsie, etc.

[dark_dragon_of_ice]

A goth is a type of cake.

[spoon!]

Came across this jewel somewhere in the back of Goth.net that someone posted when this question came up.

http://stu.wccnet.org/~klaflamm/GDT1...ows/index.html

It doesn't exactly explain universally "what is goth", but provides a clue into the subculture beyond the music and fashion I think.

[Corpsey]

Originally Posted by Mr Meth

I tip my shades and give them a "You bothered me for THIS?"-look and then just say: Wikipedia.

They don't ask after that.

Hee hee, that must be the best thing to do with shades. It seems to be very appealing to me for some reason.

Wiki & shades are perfect.

[Hopeless_Joe]

i used to get the same thing from family & people about 'my punk look'. i tried to tell them it's not a look, it's who i am. i tried to explain that punk isn't just music, isn't the way you look, isn't this, that, nor the other. it's a way of life. all i'd get in return would be the deer in headlights blank stare.


reminds me of this...

a punk kid is sitting on the sidewalk, minding his own business, when a kid near his own age comes up to him and starts talking to him. he asks him what punk is. so the punk kid gets up, walks down the block a bit, and kicks over every trashcan he sees, and says "that's punk." the other kid, baffled but inspired, goes over and kicks over other trash cans. "is that punk?" he asks. "no. that's conformity."

[Lolly PopMuzik]

Originally Posted by Hopeless_Joe

Pretentiously dull 5 millionth rambling of musical subculture as a way of life.

Ugh, not again.