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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
12-16-2007, 09:18 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Somewhere Else, CA
Posts: 971
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Inspiration has struck! (and it hurts)
Let me know what you think.....
Somewhere Overseas
All I see is him.
All I knew was him.
All I had was him.
And now he's gone.
He's gone away.
On the other side of the world.
Close, but so far away.
Japan is not that far.
But he's still not close to me.
I miss him already.
I missed him before he'd leave.
I'll be alright without him.
I'll get my life together.
I'll right myself from wrongways.
Be better.
All for him.
He was all I'd see.
He is all I need.
But right now he's gone from me.
Somewhere overseas.
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12-16-2007, 10:02 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: over there
Posts: 294
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this poem looks like a cloudy sea
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12-17-2007, 03:21 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Clockworkcoffin is your synesthesia diagnosis professional or did you self-diagnose?
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12-19-2007, 04:27 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: over there
Posts: 294
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus
Clockworkcoffin is your synesthesia diagnosis professional or did you self-diagnose?
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professional but i hardly see how that matters.
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12-19-2007, 05:54 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: over there
Posts: 294
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that and a chronic depression diagnosis all in one day! how much can a man take!?
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12-20-2007, 04:48 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by clockworkcoffin
professional but i hardly see how that matters.
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I was just wondering, as usually people who suffer from Grapheme-color synesthesia associate single letters with basic hues, not entire poems with complex visual images, and it's easy for someone without synesthesia to imagine such a scene while reading an evocative poem.
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12-20-2007, 06:11 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: over there
Posts: 294
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus
I was just wondering, as usually people who suffer from Grapheme-color synesthesia associate single letters with basic hues, not entire poems with complex visual images, and it's easy for someone without synesthesia to imagine such a scene while reading an evocative poem.
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yeah, i can understand that. i have the color/sound thing and also the thing where letters and numbers have personalities. the word "lie" evokes the mental image of a blue oval.
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12-26-2007, 10:47 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Bard College
Posts: 256
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It's good to keep poetry vague and accessible to an extent, but frankly, this poem needs something to tie it down, make it real. It needs some concrete imagery.
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12-30-2007, 04:12 AM
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#9
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by StasisInDarkness
It's good to keep poetry vague and accessible to an extent, but frankly, this poem needs something to tie it down, make it real. It needs some concrete imagery.
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I agree. Concrete imagery shows, suggests, symbolises. This just flat out tells you. It has p[otential though, mechanical imagery is easy to do.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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