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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
01-10-2008, 09:06 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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To Expand.
Abduct me, and offer me tea.
Within seconds I've got Stockholm Syndrome
My God, back me into the fridge or
Lay on me,and press me flat down into the floor
I'm not a masochist, really.
It's not like that at all.
Not in this situation
I'm done playing that sort of game.
The reason I want you to press me like a flower
Between two wooden boards is
Being reminded of what living in two dimensions is like
Gives me a greater appreciation for living in more than I can count.
So please, tell me what you think.
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01-11-2008, 12:52 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 865
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That's not too shabby...I love it, it's so bizarre.
__________________
~:She Is Your Suffering:~
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01-11-2008, 01:28 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Pretoria, South Africa
Posts: 526
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*Speechless for a moment*
...this is really good. Weird, but really good!
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01-11-2008, 03:35 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Zaporizhia, Ukraine
Posts: 18
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Wow! I love the lines!
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01-11-2008, 10:26 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Thank you very much, everyone.
Is there anything you guys could point out that strikes you as exceptional or needing work?
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01-13-2008, 05:21 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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Damn girl, another trippy little triumph. You know, you're pretty much the only poet on here I consistently enjoy reading.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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01-13-2008, 05:24 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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I like the Stockholm Syndrome leading to wanting to be pressed.
It befits you Ophelia, as most strong women secretly want to be dominated.
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01-13-2008, 05:28 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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That means more to me than you know.
Thank you.
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01-13-2008, 11:58 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,424
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The first time i read it I got lost in it and couldn't figure out where it ended and I'm still really not sure XD I particularly enjoyed the line;
My God, back me into the fridge or
It made me laugh in a good way probably because i visualised it happening to someone, anyway it was a quirky and strange piece and it makes sexual domination and, if you'll allow me to go so far; ****, seem somewhat comical.
But maybe that's just me
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01-14-2008, 08:54 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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I'm glad you got that from it.
That's right on.
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01-14-2008, 11:51 AM
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#11
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 667
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It went under my skin . Was wonderful to have the privilege to read this , thanks for posting such a beautiful poem .
Not weird at all ... Weird is to not be able to feel this ...
__________________
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
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01-14-2008, 12:11 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Wow, thank you.
I hope you're being sincere! :P
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01-15-2008, 03:51 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 667
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Yes I'm sincere .
__________________
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
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01-15-2008, 05:21 AM
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#14
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Greece
Posts: 135
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Wow....it was......wow...I liked it and it kind of creeped me out.....I can't describe it...
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01-15-2008, 08:46 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4,678
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Your poetry is starting to influence me. Especially in 'Exciting'. I'm not sure why, or how, I used some of your style, but that was directly after reading this poem and some Bukowski. You're excellent.
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01-15-2008, 12:38 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Bard College
Posts: 256
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This is a beautiful piece, haunting in its simplicity, yet eloquent in the way in which it describes submission, the female (human) condition.
I love it.
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