Top 100 fundie christian quotes *scary*

[Cen0bite]

whoops
it's youtube.com/lbc4god

[TopHaggardDoll]

[on why homosexuality is wrong and not natural]

When two guy's have sex they can only penetrate eachother through the crack which I think is disgusting because of all the crap that's in there. They both must face the same direction and thus one guy's twig and berries will be projecting from the two. Because no man has a vagina they can't become one flesh when having normal sex.

Women don't have Jimmy and his two buddies hanging around so they can't naturally penetrate eachother and become one flesh.

Oral with dudes can't be natural because the legs will be poking out from different directions as will the ladies if they participate in oral sex.

Oral with the opposite sex still isn't natural because you still have the leg issue and often someone is further down if they are not on top of eachother.

Anal with opposites is still excluded from natural sex because once again your are sticking your think in a crap hole and a womans tits are usually projecting outward.

When the Bible is speaking of becoming one flesh it literally means that there is nothing sticking out in the clear and that the man and woman are facing eachother. Face to Face.

I bloody knew it!

My girlfriend was all like...how come whenever you make a joke about Christians you ALWAYS mention the missionary position..this! is all the damn proof that I need!

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

It's important to remember that people like that don't represent all Christians.

Thank you Ophie. <3

All I am going to say is in the same way we get idiotic postings here on Gnet from time to time, that there are idiot posts everywhere else too. The same distribution of dim bulbs populates Christian communities as well as Goth communities.

That, and I would take being a Baptist over being Mormon or Scientologist any day or night. At least Baptists preach from the Bible, a document with wisdom that has been proven over thousands of years, whereas Mormon and ScienTerifficology are 19th and 20th century inventions.

[Apathy's_Child]

Originally Posted by HumanePain

That, and I would take being a Baptist over being Mormon or Scientologist any day or night. At least Baptists preach from the Bible, a document with wisdom that has been proven over thousands of years, whereas Mormon and ScienTerifficology are 19th and 20th century inventions.

Yeah! My fictional sacred text was written before YOUR fictional sacred text!!

[CptSternn]

And people wonder why don't like the protestants.

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by CptSternn

And people wonder why don't like the protestants.

Eh, I tend to go with the whole "Humans are insane in general" concept meself. :3

[Lapin]

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Yeah! My fictional sacred text was written before YOUR fictional sacred text!!

I need to go somewhere else before I start laughing. Because that would be beyond rude. *snort*

If your original Hebrew disagrees with my original King James --- your original Hebrew is wrong. If your original Hebrew agrees with my original King James, your original Hebrew is right.

....You all should really see my face right now. I can't even touch this with a ten foot pole. Anything I say would just take away from the hysterical laughter.

2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them

Long debunked myth. He never even met the nun he supposedly confessed this to.

Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!

My areas of expertise with science is limited to botany and astronomy. And even I know how inaccurate that statement is.

I wonder what these crazies think about the theatre?

[Darklight689]

Unreal. This is one of the many reasons i abandoned the path of Christianity soon as i could think for myself. The ignorance and deep belief in sin is ridiculous. Sinned in the womb? WTF is that?

There is only 1 cure for stupid, ill give you a hint its sharp and its in my pocket.

[Bella Sophia]

Ha. I had this weird dream about evolution last night. It was sooo creepy... and highly inaccurate. In my dream, we all came from apes, but dreams don't have to make sense now, do they? lol. The apes were growling at me, and, well, I was just wondering why they were standing there... in order... from ape to human...

Oh well. I wonder why it's so hard for religious people to believe in evolution when there's scientific evidence right there in their faces...

[Cen0bite]

yeah.
gah! while waiting for the bus today, this dude next to me asked me if i was a chrstian.
i said no, and he was kinda shocked.
i just told him that there is no proof he exists.
i was just like, well, im not saying he doesn't exist, but there's no real evidence for it, and faith isn't evidence.

[Solumina]

Jesus is not a Jew. Jesus was Jewish.

hehehe fantastic

[Drake Dun]

Originally Posted by Cen0bite

yeah.
gah! while waiting for the bus today, this dude next to me asked me if i was a chrstian.
i said no, and he was kinda shocked.
i just told him that there is no proof he exists.

That's a pretty harsh thing to say to a person. Was he upset that you denied his very existence even though he was standing right in front of you and you were having a conversation?

Drake

[Don't Look Behind You]

"I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it."
That hurts.
Don't have a brain? Well then take Christianity, simplify it to the point of an infant game, take everything literaly and there you have a whole explanation of life! Yippy! And then go jump off a cliff. Haven't you heard, Jesus WANTS you to do that. I mean, it sais in the Bible that after you've shit ignorant self-righteous bullshit three times, you have to jump of a cliff. Better even, if you take a few friends..

[Madarame]

Originally Posted by ~Sekhmet~

[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

Queen of the tigers, Gaia [Comments (137)] [2006-Apr-19]





Oh, this is so fucking crazy!!

Hah yeah, it doesn't happen like in pokemon you know.

We don't really get this kind of crazy over here in Britain, at least not that I've ever seen. All of the chritians I've ever met have belived in Evolution.

[Cen0bite]

Originally Posted by Drake Dun

That's a pretty harsh thing to say to a person. Was he upset that you denied his very existence even though he was standing right in front of you and you were having a conversation?

Drake

No it's not. It's the truth.
There is no evidence. It's as simple as that. He no more exists than the flying spaghetti monster does.
Also, he didn't seem upset..
well, actually, i dunno, cause he didn't say anything else to me after that.
If he thinks that he's doing me a favor by trying to tell me the "truth" as he thinks i should see it, well, i'm gonna return the favor and tell him the real truth.

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by Cen0bite

No it's not. It's the truth.
There is no evidence. It's as simple as that. He no more exists than the flying spaghetti monster does.

There is no way to prove or disprove God completely. You can have an opinion on it, but really...if you're looking at it scientifically...then there's just no way to do either.

But if you take it as a -personal- quest, then yes...it -is- possible to be certain.

Also, he didn't seem upset..
well, actually, i dunno, cause he didn't say anything else to me after that.
If he thinks that he's doing me a favor by trying to tell me the "truth" as he thinks i should see it, well, i'm gonna return the favor and tell him the real truth.

*tunes in to find out the real truth*

[Drake Dun]

Originally Posted by Cen0bite

No it's not. It's the truth.

Nobody gets my jokes.

The antecedent to "he" in what you wrote was in fact the guy on the bus (not YHWH). So, I was deliberately misreading what you said to mean that you had denied the existence of the guy on the bus.

Maybe my sense of humor is a little off.

Drake

[Drake Dun]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

But if you take it as a -personal- quest, then yes...it -is- possible to be certain.

I hope the certainty is equally as personal as the quest. Somehow it never seems to be, if you catch my drift.

Drake

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by Drake Dun

I hope the certainty is equally as personal as the quest. Somehow it never seems to be, if you catch my drift.

Drake

Maybe it's just an off-day, but no, can't say I really get your drift. O_o;;

There -is- a way to be certain that's universal, but I don't suggest going so far as that would take..

[Drake Dun]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

There -is- a way to be certain that's universal, but I don't suggest going so far as that would take..

That will take care of itself soon enough. In the meantime, I'm one of the people who doesn't think that feelings you get while sitting on your bum thinking about stuff amount to evidence.

Drake

[RobinGreenwood]

Yah, these kinds of things make me afraid to call myself "Christian". Which is what I am. But...there are these people in the world, and they have the nerve to call themselves Christians too!!

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by Drake Dun

That will take care of itself soon enough. In the meantime, I'm one of the people who doesn't think that feelings you get while sitting on your bum thinking about stuff amount to evidence.

Drake

Neither do I.

Feelings and emotions can vary depending on several different factors: What you had to eat that morning, whether you're male or female, whether or not [if female] Aunt Flo is close...

I trust emotions to tell me something is wrong with my body, or I need a good cry, but that's about it.

[Methadrine]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

There is no way to prove or disprove God completely. You can have an opinion on it, but really...if you're looking at it scientifically...then there's just no way to do either.

Actually, there somewhat is. Scientifically. We can more or less prove that every action of miracle has strong connections with the laws of physics. As I stated in another thread, regarding some deflecting bullet, is one have the exact same parameters when performing something, the outcome is always the same. We can even predict most things by mathematics before even performing the experiment proving it right.

While it does not rule out completely that there might be something called a god in our eyes (i.e extremely omnipotent, intelligent whatever) it does strongly point to the fact that this god-being does not interfere with our world in any sense.

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by Methadrine

Actually, there somewhat is. Scientifically. We can more or less prove that every action of miracle has strong connections with the laws of physics. As I stated in another thread, regarding some deflecting bullet, is one have the exact same parameters when performing something, the outcome is always the same. We can even predict most things by mathematics before even performing the experiment proving it right.

While it does not rule out completely that there might be something called a god in our eyes (i.e extremely omnipotent, intelligent whatever) it does strongly point to the fact that this god-being does not interfere with our world in any sense.

I would expect the creator of the physical world to adhere to physics, personally. But I would also expect Him to know how to manipulate said physics in such a way that He could both do something, and it not be ridiculously obvious that it was Him.

Also, since I believe in a more personal God-being, I believe He's more interested in our personal, individual lives than in manipulating the laws of physics on a grand scale.

[Bete Noire]

"In my opinion, if an animal in the wild like a swan is caught being gay it should be shot on sight, disinfected, and used to feed the poor."