Comfort

[badteccy]

Oh, now now
I am very much aware
that this
I have done to myself.
Isolation is my weekends
my home from
responsibilites.
It's not that I actually
expected
anyone to
really care
though itsurewouldbe


a tad comforting
if you swept me in your arms
and conversation
of the things I can no longer relate too

[Apathy's_Child]

Better than average. My first instanct is to hate the "swept me into your arms" line, though. But overall, not bad at all. Most poems about this subject are all, "I'm so alone WAAAAAH nobody cares WAAAAAH" etc. It's understated, which works well and avoids sounding like it comes from the mouth of a midde-class brat with loving parents who's all deep and shit.

[badteccy]

Better than average? I can deal with that.
Actually, this one isn't about my parents...it's more about how I don't really make much of an attempt to hang out with people, but it be nice if some of my friends actually called me up once in awhile to shoot the shit.
Ah well, I guess people are busy.

[Apathy's_Child]

Originally Posted by badteccy

Better than average? I can deal with that.

Hey, that's a compliment. I'm pretty harsh on poetry.

I know it wasn't about your parents, I was just summing up the general sense I get of people who write ranty self-pitying poetry about loneliness.

[badteccy]

Gotcha *wink*


Guh...

[blackwater1110]

I love the last line, and the fact that the whole thing essentially arises from a misunderstanding--probably the reason for the isolation in the first place: a sense of being out of touch. So yeah, while I also didn't enjoy the "swept me in you arms" bit, my overall experience was positive.

[beauismyhorse]

I can relate. q:
Anyways, as others have said, the 'swept me into your arms' part was a bit.. But the rest was really good.
*It's late, I apologize that this wasn't the most professional review.