Superior Advice Courtesy of Gothicus Maximus

[prophecyofdoom]

What happened to Stalin's son? Did the Nazis kill him?

[Corpsey]

Hahahahaha, now that does beat anything that Mr Miaow attempted to do.

What did happen to the little tyke? Was he sent away to visit Uncle Adolf?

[Beneath the Shadows]

It's said he killed himself by running into an electric fence in a German concentration camp.

[Wednesday Friday Addams]

We didn't push honest.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by prophecyofdoom

What happened to Stalin's son? Did the Nazis kill him?

Dear Prophecy of Doom and Corpsey,

Beneath the Shadows has it right.

Till next time,
Gothicus Maximus

[Wormboy]

Gothicus, I used to have tons of respect for you when I first arrived on these forums. You were smart, funny, and had a no-bullshit persona I found lovely. Now however, you are the most disappointing member on these boards, you seem to have reduced yourself to being a bastardized amalgamation of the duck man and uncle smoov.

[Solumina]

Originally Posted by Wormboy

Gothicus, I used to have tons of respect for you when I first arrived on these forums. You were smart, funny, and had a no-bullshit persona I found lovely. Now however, you are the most disappointing member on these boards, you seem to have reduced yourself to being a bastardized amalgamation of the duck man and uncle smoov.

Quoted for truth

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by Wormboy

Gothicus, I used to have tons of respect for you when I first arrived on these forums. You were smart, funny, and had a no-bullshit persona I found lovely. Now however, you are the most disappointing member on these boards, you seem to have reduced yourself to being a bastardized amalgamation of the duck man and uncle smoov.

Wait a minute, this isn't enthusiastic praise. These are negative comments, attacks on my character and, worse yet, my net post quality.
Needless to say, I am pretty aghast. I could never have foreseen that anyone could possibly not regard this thread to be an almost peerlessly excellent one. Remind me to never try helping gnet again if these are the thanks I can expect.

[XXChristabelXX]

fuck you for having expectations of others.

[badteccy]

Gothicus
Why am I so awesome?

[HumanePain]

badteccy, whilst we wait for the oracle that is gothicusmaximus to respond, allow me to interject with several reasons why you are so Gothically AWESOME! :

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...ccy-single.jpg

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...eccygay007.jpg

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...cctCloseup.jpg

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...ccySexGang.jpg

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...dteccy-raw.jpg

And my four favorite Gnet pictures of all time (although you must share the glory you are immortalized with, but what can I say? I am an incurable romantic! ) :

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...-Haunted-1.jpg

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...-Haunted-1.jpg

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...adteccy2-1.jpg

And my number one favorite, most AWESOME badteccy of ALL TIME:

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r...ndBadteccy.jpg

[Anti-Mindvirus]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

The answer is never. Happy?

Hahaha! Thank you for that..

[TopHaggardDoll]

I wish I was as smart as Gothicus....THEN! people would love me.

Lets all give a round of applause to the guy for one of the most pretentious threads I have ever seen!

*round of applause and cheering*

[KontanKarite]

You guys, it's really just a phase. He's being really funny.

I mean, if he's gone troll, at least he's a good troll.

[Beneath the Shadows]

Originally Posted by KontanKarite

He's being really funny.

Well, trying to, in any case.

[gothicusmaximus]

If this is going to escalate into some sort of debate, let me bring an end to it right now. Unfortunately, doing so will require me to break character. Yes, 'character', that is to say, a fabricated persona.

I wish I was as smart as Gothicus....THEN! people would love me.

Lets all give a round of applause to the guy for one of the most pretentious threads I have ever seen!

*round of applause and cheering*

Allow me to delineate for you a concept whose nuances seem to elude certain members of these boards- the concept known as humor. Human exists in any situation or notion, which, through some aberrant, absurd quality, evokes amusement. While humor can certainly arise without any premeditation on the part of those who serve as its source, many attempt to amuse others by generating this phenomenon intentionally, which act, also known as the telling of a joke, often requires its perpetrator to create fiction, to act in a way that does not accord with his general nature, to, in essence, pretend.

This post, TopHaggardDoll, is not an example of obscene arrogance or pretension. It is an example of a joke. How you could believe, for even a moment, that I rendered this post in earnest is utterly baffling to me. The fundamental premise of a 'let me, a single person, give you advice' thread, posted to a board essentially designed so that members can ask the entire forum for advice, is ludicrous, so obviously tongue-in-cheek that I have no idea how anyone raised by human parents could fail to understand my true purpose in creating it. The language in the post is so effervescently sarcastic and hyperbolic, any individual who made it in absolute sincerity would probably be confined to a mental institution for acute delusions of grandeur. Posting what you've posted here is equatable to responding to Godslayer Jillian's "Petition to Ban Godslayer Jillian" with "Hey asshole, Jillian is one of the most respected members here", or to one of the countless "watch me impersonate a dumb mallgoth" jokes with "Learn to spell and visit the music forums".

Incidentally, you yourself, in replying in this fashion, have unintentionally created humor, as this post represents a mockery of the countless "ASK ME" thread which preceded it. While you were apt to call out the creator of the satire for his haughtiness, those who honestly believed themselves interesting enough to merit a thread devoted to their answering the questions of other members somehow avoided your keen critical eye.

You guys, it's really just a phase. He's being really funny.

I mean, if he's gone troll, at least he's a good troll.

Wrong, Kontan. This isn't a 'phase'. This isn't even really a change in my demeanor. I've made jokes of this nature since the day I first posted to gnet. What happened here is that I made a critically poor judgement call and authored two threads lampooning my own egoism within days of one another, failing to realize that might confuse some people who neglected to note the number of entirely normal contributions I made in the admittedly short interim period, or who possess an inflated, idealized conception of me and my role on these boards. Speaking of...

Gothicus, I used to have tons of respect for you when I first arrived on these forums. You were smart, funny, and had a no-bullshit persona I found lovely. Now however, you are the most disappointing member on these boards, you seem to have reduced yourself to being a bastardized amalgamation of the duck man and uncle smoov.

Wormboy, I'm going to tell you something that might just blow your mind, so brace yourself. I'm not Spongebob fucking Squarepants. I'm a college student posting on an internet forum for goths. It's not my obligation to ensure that everything I say is paramountly amusing to you, because I'm not here to make you happy, I'm here to stave off my own boredom. If I tell a joke you don't like, I haven't 'failed' you. I've just told a bad joke- shocking, I know, as that's never happened before. In this post you come off like the deranged fanboy of some unfortunate band, bashing a new album before it's even released because the lead singer let slip some arbitrary comment about a 'pop influence', extolling the virtues of the group's sacrosanct 'older stuff'-- except you're worse, because I'm not a good band, I'm, once again, a college student posting to a message board for goths. If you don't like what I say, I don't care.

[gothicusmaximus]

Anyway, sit tight, true believers.
Badteccy, your question is indeed unique, complex, and provocative. I will require some more time to mull over it, but a proper response will grace you before the day is through. Until then, excelsior!

[TopHaggardDoll]

Ah shit! It was a joke! My God....I feel STUPID! now.

I'm gunna go and boil my face!!!

[JCC]

... People are morons.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by badteccy

Gothicus
Why am I so awesome?

Dear badteccy,

Indeed, your being awesome is quite the enigma, this evident truth brazenly defying the paradigm to which reality generally adheres. You are not me, and yet, rather than being

Originally Posted by L'Oiseau Noir

an irritating twit with a life barely worth twopence

as are most people who aren't me, you are quite ill sweet in your own right. The only logical conclusion is that you, along with anyone else besides me who demonstrates a glimmer of awesome, are my distant relative.

Welcome to the family,

Gothicus Maximus

Originally Posted by JCC

... People are morons.

The thread is but two pages long, and already JCC has come to realize a fundamental truth of which most remain ignorant for the majority of their lives. If I weren't a jaded badass whom nothing surprises, I'd surprise even myself.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

Was this thread specifically created to subtly prod at me here and there? I only ask, as you make several references to me, albeit covert.

Mm, I actually find it strangely flattering you'd go to these lengths just to show how you hold me in your highest contempt, Gothicus. It's sweet, in a weird way.

[JCC]

Originally Posted by L'Oiseau Noir

Was this thread specifically created to subtly prod at me here and there? I only ask, as you make several references to me, albeit covert.

Mm, I actually find it strangely flattering you'd go to these lengths just to show how you hold me in your highest contempt, Gothicus. It's sweet, in a weird way.

Why does a thread always have to be about someone? The impression that I get from Gothicus is that he doesn't care enough about any of us enough to invest such time in us.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by L'Oiseau Noir

Was this thread specifically created to subtly prod at me here and there? I only ask, as you make several references to me, albeit covert.

Mm, I actually find it strangely flattering you'd go to these lengths just to show how you hold me in your highest contempt, Gothicus. It's sweet, in a weird way.

I really feel this is an attempt to start a fight.

Noir, I'm being serious here. Please stop. I talk to Gothicus all the time on AIM, and naturally, we talk about g.net. He doesn't really give a rat's ass about you either way. He would not go out of his way to create a thread simply to covertly insult you. Not only is that a waste of time, but it's not at all in his nature, as he would just openly insult you. You really should check yourself here, because you're acting incredibly self-centered.

Not only that, but just out of curiosity...if you don't want to start fights, why would you even care to look at a thread that's not only started by Gothicus, but is clearly from the title just him being a silly prick? It really seems like you want someone to fight with, otherwise you would have just sighed and moved on.

Please understand, I'm honestly just trying to help you, because I really feel you may have embarrassed yourself a little with this one, and while I'm not crazy about you to begin with, I don't want you to let silliness on the internet cause you to compromise your dignity.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

Originally Posted by JCC

Why does a thread always have to be about someone? The impression that I get from Gothicus is that he doesn't care enough about any of us enough to invest such time in us.

It was only a question; and this is a thread meant for questions, right? I only asked because there are several covert references to me in both the main post, and some of the ones afterward, that suggests this was thread may be satire. That's all; I wasn't trying to stir things up.

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I really feel this is an attempt to start a fight.

Noir, I'm being serious here. Please stop. I talk to Gothicus all the time on AIM, and naturally, we talk about g.net. He doesn't really give a rat's ass about you either way. He would not go out of his way to create a thread simply to covertly insult you. Not only is that a waste of time, but it's not at all in his nature, as he would just openly insult you. You really should check yourself here, because you're acting incredibly self-centered.

Not only that, but just out of curiosity...if you don't want to start fights, why would you even care to look at a thread that's not only started by Gothicus, but is clearly from the title just him being a silly prick? It really seems like you want someone to fight with, otherwise you would have just sighed and moved on.

Please understand, I'm honestly just trying to help you, because I really feel you may have embarrassed yourself a little with this one, and while I'm not crazy about you to begin with, I don't want you to let silliness on the internet cause you to compromise your dignity.

See above what I said. If he wants to rip on me, let him and whoever else at it.

And, Ophelia, don't make me laugh. You're not looking to help me, so spare me the bullshit.

[Breathless Horror]

As an impartial third party, I'm just going to throw my two cents in; wether you're aware of it or not Noir, you definitely come across as looking for a fight. Yes Gothicus can be a prick, but be the bigger person and let it go.