I tell you, it's hard to really say anything good about the first and second verse. But they are very matter-of-fact regarding the pain (I guess) of birthing (not borning). Or maybe boring? Kind of obvious and repetitive, the first. But then there is the second verse, which is kinda cool actually. I could picture a japanese girl-punk band singing something like that. It would also be nice if by "phase", you meant the sound - phasing. The third could also be something, but that's just my warped mind hearing a german girl's drawling monotone atop a blanket of art-noise. Probably not what you had in mind when you wrote it...
You should maybe lighten up, though. I don't know, do you ever feel like the world hates you and the things you are interested in? Cheer up, it won't always be so sad! You could try to write about more positive things, in a poetic way. Have fun with language. Your English needs some practicing, but it's not so bad already.
Still, about those lyrics, I think the subject matter and the descriptions of the baby are
gross. In the right musical context, they could potentially be funny, and even
cool, but you could never,
ever actually sing them. They would have to be spoken, in a weary, droning voice. Or something like Kim Gordon - from
Sonic Youth - would sound like. They would never have a song like this, though. You should listen to some
Mu as well. The
Afro Finger and Gel album.
