Rant Thread

[Tam Li Hua]

Nightmare:

Listen to Solumina and the others; they are telling you the same things that I would have told you myself.

If I were to take a guess as to what the trigger was, it was most likely your friend's death. I imagine that cutting and such was your way of grieving, and you shouldn't be embarrassed that it depressed you. Losing someone like that is SUPPOSED to depress you. When my mother died 2 1/2 years ago, I couldn't feel anything but sadness and anger for at LEAST six months later, and it took me nearly two years to feel anywhere near normal again. :/

It also took some one-on-one therapy and some time on the other side of the country away from my family for me to be able to figure out how to handle it. [On that note, don't be scared of therapists; if they are the right kind, they will guide you in helping you help yourself. They are usually very friendly. If they aren't, then they aren't a very good therapist. :P ]

Ophelia: While I agree with you that one shouldn't trust anyone on the Internet about mental health issues, I'm not a teenager; I'm 29 years old, soon to be 30 this coming August. ^^;;;

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

What if they are the wrong kind though? I feel nervous about asking my parents to see a counselor... I don't really know why I would want to. This is probably taking my dad's lecture too far :\

[Solumina]

If you do see a therapist and you do not feel comfortable then see someone else, it is quite common for people to just not click with a therapist, even a good therapist, so there is nothing wrong with saying that you think it would better for you to see someone else without you needing to give a reason. Truthfully there aren't many bad therapist out there and the ones who are bad tend to be psychoanalytical psychiatrists. If you see a humanistic/cognitive psychologist then there isn't much of a chance at all of any problem other than you and your therapist simply not being an ideal match.

If you are really resistant to seeing a therapist then don't feel as though you have to just because people on here have told you to do it. That being said a lot of people aren't too keen on the idea of therapy until they try it and realize how much it can help them. If you are nervous about talking to your parents then is there maybe someone in your school that you could see (guidance counselor maybe? Although they can really be hit or miss and some don't really have much training in this kind of thing). If you don't know exactly what to say then just be honest and tell your father that you are really unhappy with your current relationship with him/that you feel like you can't express yourself/that you aren't really happy/that you thing you have some unresolved grief from when your friend died/whatever you feel is wrong and that you think it may be helpful to see a psychologist to help you sort things out.

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

There aren't any actual counselors at school, but the school coordinator does some things like that. She's not very good though. A few of my friends have gone to the office, with depression problems and they've only made it worse.
And for telling my parents, it would feel kind of weird just walking up to mum or dad and saying "I wanna go see a counselor". I mean I don't know a reason to go..

[Mir]

Why can't people use the standard font colour? /rant

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

A few reasons.
1 - It was put there so people can use it if they want. I want to.
2 - It stands out more, it's a lot easier to find your posts because not many people actually have the same colour or font.
3 - It looks cool.
4 - Refer to 3, 2 and 1.
5 - All of the above.
6 - The colour may symbolise something.
7 - Refer to 8.
8 - See all of the above.

[Methadrine]

Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour

3 - It looks cool.

Are you daft? Red does not look cool. It looks silly and warm.

[Solumina]

I have to agree, I am not a fan of the red, it is just uncomfortable to read. I do, however, like some of the other colors, such as the vanilla-ish color that Tam used a little higher on the page

[thekorupt]

Nightmare... you know I think your cool, so if what I say seems condecending, its just that I'm older than you, and I've been where you are, and I don't mean it in an insulting way.

Your Dad is scared. Plain and simple. Listen.. men have a tendancy to be ridiculously insecure. They hide it well, and they even deny it to themselves, but your dad isn't just afraid for you. He is afraid he failed you. He is afraid that he went wrong somewhere. He may even resent himself.
If you want to connect with him, start with some extreme empathy. You can't even imagine how much he loves you. I promise you, he would lay down his life for you.
I know its frustrating, honey. I used to cut myself too, during my early to mid teenage years. People grow up and get past that sorta thing. But sometimes its really hard to make others see that you have moved forward.
But still... be true to yourself. If he cant accept you, his loss. But you will regret losing yourself for someone else.

[JCC]

Originally Posted by thekorupt

men have a tendancy to be ridiculously insecure.

I stopped reading there. You're a buffoon.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

Ophelia: While I agree with you that one shouldn't trust anyone on the Internet about mental health issues, I'm not a teenager; I'm 29 years old, soon to be 30 this coming August. ^^;;;

You...
Are 29?!?!?!

JESUS.
I can't even believe that.
You shouldn't have told me that.
Oh my God.

[MollyMac]

Originally Posted by JCC

I stopped reading there. You're a buffoon.

You proved her point.

[JCC]

Originally Posted by MollyMac

You proved her point.

Hahaha. It always irks me when people say shit like that. It's like saying blacks have a tendency for being insecure.

[MollyMac]

Yeah, I know what ya mean. All generalizations tend to be irksome (**wonders if that is a generalisation in and of itself? How meta**). I know people tend to make them based on personal experience, but one's experience is not the only rule to sociology.

My rant:

How the fuck can Jessee Jackson be a proponent of equality when Michael Richards gets raked over the coals (by Jesse, no less) for use of the "N" word (rolls eyes, how childish is our society when we relegate a word we all know to the "N" word or "C" word or "F" word. We are not idiots, we know what the word is. And We say it in our heads when you pull that shit, Mr. Media. You gain nothing in this practice- why are you then still allowed BITCH and WHORE????) when Jesse himself said it of Obama's followers?

And he is not getting near the flack of Richards or Imus. His apology was immediately accepted. He did not need rehab to deal with the hatred he apparently holds for his own race. What the fuck?

Bear in mind, I don't care for the "N" word or the likes, my rant is this-
How can there be equality when there cannot even be a shared vocabulary? If a man cannot say bitch, but a woman can? If a black person can say the "N" word, but a person of another race can't...

I know that within a social group (racial, national, gender based etc..) that slurs are used in a familiar fashion without the baggage of a perceived majority using it as pejorative. All the same, I think it is hypocritical for Jesse tp be forgiven so easily when others were not.

Is it that the forgiveness of the offended party matters above that of the population?

I seriously don't know.

It all just pisses me off.

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

You...
Are 29?!?!?!

JESUS.
I can't even believe that.
You shouldn't have told me that.
Oh my God.

Hey, I don't have any illusions about my flaws. I know I can be -very- daft sometimes; it's something I've just come to accept. Just gotta do the best I can with what I've got, ya know? *shrug* Not sure why that's so surprising. O.o

How old are you, if I may ask?

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by JCC

Hahaha. It always irks me when people say shit like that. It's like saying blacks have a tendency for being insecure.

It's not at all the same thing. On average, males in Western culture have difficulty expressing their emotions properly. I have several guy friends who, rather than cry or something, will get headaches if they are stressed or angry or frustrated.

There's still the mentality than in order for a guy to be a 'real man', he's got to not show any weaknesses such as crying or what-not. I by no means condone that kind of mentality, but it -does- exist as the majority.

[JCC]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

It's not at all the same thing. On average, males in Western culture have difficulty expressing their emotions properly. I have several guy friends who, rather than cry or something, will get headaches if they are stressed or angry or frustrated.

There's still the mentality than in order for a guy to be a 'real man', he's got to not show any weaknesses such as crying or what-not. I by no means condone that kind of mentality, but it -does- exist as the majority.

It exists as the majority because your friends are like it? That's fucking redundant logic. Most of my friends are Atheist or Agnostic, does this mean that the majority of people are Atheist or Agnostic? No.

[MollyMac]

"On average, males in Western culture have difficulty expressing their emotions properly."

Define "average".

Define "properly".

[thekorupt]

Originally Posted by JCC

I stopped reading there. You're a buffoon.

Let's start here. You didn't even finish reading the post, so you don't even get the point. Next, you are fourteen fucking years old. You aren't even a man yet. What do you know about it? And if you ask me what do I know about it, I am married. I promise you learn more about the opposite sex than ever humanly possible when you are with them day in and day out in a relationship bond. Also, I asked my husband. His comment "What the fuck does a 14 year old know?"

Kid, get a clue, ok? It isn't a stereotype. It isn't even meant to be insulting. More of an insight to help nightmare deal with his dad. Just like saying women are often more emotional than men. Is that a stereotype? OR IS IT JUST FUCKING TRUE? Does that mean ALL men or women are "_______"? NO. It means most are.

We have a abnormal look at how men handle emotion in this society. Whether you choose to see it or not. You merely show your ignorance and naivety.

And Molly is right. You proved my point. When your "manhood" (more like boyhood) was challenged, you got your little feelings all hurt. Waaaa...

Grow up and read a psychiatric journal sometime and get an insight into the world around you. And beyond you.

[Tam Li Hua]

JCC:

Do you then believe most males in western culture are comfortable with expressing their emotions freely? With crying and such?

Molly:

On average. As in, the average number of males in the population.

Properly, as in they hold in their emotions instead of expressing them in healthy ways. Unhealthy ways would be hurting others on purpose, passive/aggressive behaviors, and the like. Maybe I should have said 'in healthy ways' instead.

Eh, whatever. Point is, the kid's dad is probably having as hard of a time expressing his feelings to his son as his son is understanding his father. For instance, Dad is worried about his son, but it comes out as criticism instead of loving concern.

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

Originally Posted by JCC

It exists as the majority because your friends are like it? That's fucking redundant logic. Most of my friends are Atheist or Agnostic, does this mean that the majority of people are Atheist or Agnostic? No.

You'd be surprised.
I know this is only in Australia, but I was reading census results for religion and 41% were atheist.
You just don't hear about them as much because there aren't any beliefs they protest about. They don't have a church.
I could be wrong but I think that a lot of people actually don't believe in the "Heavenly Father".

[MollyMac]

How do you determine what the average number of males in the population does with their emotions- was there a Gallup poll I missed?

But what is healthy? Crying and talking it out like women do? Aggresison is not an unhealthy thing, you know. Nor id always letting it out a la1 Oprah necessarially a healthy method, either. Why not let all emotional reaction sbe considered situational and then proper to those expessing them and to those who are on the receiving end- and not just your dictates?

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

Originally Posted by thekorupt

Your Dad is scared. Plain and simple. Listen.. men have a tendancy to be ridiculously insecure. They hide it well, and they even deny it to themselves, but your dad isn't just afraid for you. He is afraid he failed you. He is afraid that he went wrong somewhere. He may even resent himself.
If you want to connect with him, start with some extreme empathy. You can't even imagine how much he loves you. I promise you, he would lay down his life for you.
I know its frustrating, honey. I used to cut myself too, during my early to mid teenage years. People grow up and get past that sorta thing. But sometimes its really hard to make others see that you have moved forward.
But still... be true to yourself. If he cant accept you, his loss. But you will regret losing yourself for someone else.

That reminds me. I was having an argument about these kinds of things before I turned completely Goth and I told him about some friends that I knew... I can't remember who, but they were Goth and I was like "what's wrong with them then?" and he said "There's nothing wrong with them, I just call that bad parenting".
That makes me feel guilty... My brother isn't exactly a success and dad's hoping I don't end up like him... I think he wants to feel success in raising a child, not failure. God, I really should have a talk to him. I don't want him to think I'm trying to be sarcastic and like "if you don't like me, then fuck you" because I'm not like that.
I don't usually care what people say about me, unless it's someone I respect (best friends, girlfriend, parents).

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

Originally Posted by Solumina

I have to agree, I am not a fan of the red, it is just uncomfortable to read. I do, however, like some of the other colors, such as the vanilla-ish color that Tam used a little higher on the page

How does this look? I'd prefer my writing to be red or purple.

Or this?

Or this. Tell me what you think of each colour eg "Purple is too dark, lime is too light" etc

[MollyMac]

Or, get a grip, do what you want to do, knowing that the text can be highlighted and turned black and white by anyone who wants to read it. No sense posting in Skittles.