Rant Thread

[JCC]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Ugh.

How the fuck could a teenager on the internet tell you what kind of mental problems you have?
You may as well take one of those online tests where the deciding factor is your favorite colour.

Hey, those tests are great! That's how I found out I actually have severe bipolar!

[Disaffected Shoelaces]

Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour

And it's just a suspicion but I reckon the reason he's worried because last year he found out I had slit my wrists.

O RLY?!

... Yeah, he sounds real unreasonable.

Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour

I'd been going through a hard time. It probably wasn't the way to handle it, but I was a complete freak.. Ugh I hated myself. I haven't done it for a while now. I have an obsession with blood, sharp objects (such as razors, I even have a strait razor necklace), Satanic Black Metal bands, murderous music and I am obsessed with horror movies filled with gore (the Saw's, Black Dahlia Murder, The truth about Demons..) He hates it. I like it. Pity he doesn't just accept our differences. I don't want to, but chances are I'll grow out of it. He was part of the Reaperz Bikie Gang, he admits it was stupid, can't he let me just at least DRESS and listen to what I want??

Did you ever think that maybe the reason he hates your gory films and black metal is because it's a visible reminder of your self-proclaimed obsession with sharp objects, blood and cutting yourself? If he wasn't already on the alert for signs of deviance, you could probably dress however you like and watch whatever you want. But now you've worried him, he's going to judge you by different standards to kids who DON'T self-harm. You can't blame him for wondering if the extra morbidity is good for you.

I'm sorry but I get so annoyed by people who indulge in little self-destructive behaviours, then get pissy if anyone becomes concerned about them. Sometimes you just have to swallow your self-righteousness, accept that you messed up, and do what you have to do for a while.

[Solumina]

Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour

I don't wanna go to a counselor or therapy group. I don't have any problems. *cough*
Like as in my dad and I go? I don't think so.
And what would I need to resolve? Like... have you got any classic examples? I'm not quite sure what these issues might be.

I know nothing about your medical and/or family history and truthfully know very little about you so I can't really say one way or another that you have anything at all. I will, however, say that in my opinion it may be helpful for you to see a therapist, even if it is just to give your father piece of mind (for you I would recomend a humanistic and/or cognitive therapist and you should definitely avoid a behaviorist). You haven't displayed any characteristics that would warrant medication or even anything that would be treated with intense therapy, the only thing that I think would happen is that you would get to know yourself better and your father would see that you really are in a better place than you were. Therapists aren't bad people and shouldn't do anything that you are not fully prepared to do (unless they think that you are going to cause harm to someone but being a cutter a year ago would not be an issue). Also if you go to someone and they don't make you feel comfortable in a couple of sessions then try someone else because you wont be able to get much out of your sessions if you don't feel comfortable opening up.

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

I meant a classic example. I mean, this all started when a close friend of my got hit by a train and passed away last year. I got fairly depressed and started to become a bit of a freak, which got me even more depressed, because I hated myself. And my brother was beating me up daily. My friends were betraying me. wow, come to think about it, my 12 year old self really WAS fucked up.

Should I just talk to him? like.. bring it up one day during a long car ride, have a decent conversation about these topics and explain it all to him?
And when everyone continuously suggests a therapist or counselor, do you just mean go by myself or my dad? Just have to clear that up. And I'm kind of nervous about going to one. I just don't completely see why I should go. Sure I like sharp things, lots of people do. I USED to cut myself. Used to. It was fucking stupid and I regret it.

[Technowitch]

YES, talk to your dad. That's sound advice that has already been given to you. Follow it.

YES, if you and your dad can't talk it by yourself, suggest family counseling. It might be easier to get to the root of the problem with someone there mediating and guiding the discussion. It's better than bitching at each other and having him scream at you in public over stupid shit like the color of your nail polish. =/

[Solumina]

It may be better for you to go by yourself than with your dad. He will feel more secure about your mental stability if you see someone, even if nothing else changes, and you will be better able to open up if it is just a one on one session.

Now that I know a bit more about you I can say fairly confidently that you could benefit from seeing a psychologist with a humanistic perspective. You seem to be in a much better place than you were but I imagine that those issues that you dealt with are still there, just not in the forefront of your mind. Loss is something that everyone experiences differently but in most cases it lingers, even if not in an obvious way, and I think it may have a negative impact on your self image, as you don't seem to really love yourself and this loss seems to be what triggered the beginning of your dislike for yourself.

I don't think that you need therapy, I think that you can function just fine without it, I just think that it would be helpful. I can understand being nervous. A lot of people worry about being forced to take meds that make them into a someone else, or they fear that their therapist will try and change them. A good therapist wont do that, a good therapist will help you get to know yourself better and will help you to like who you are. If they think that you have a chemical imbalance that is causing problems then they will talk to you about the possibility of going on meds but will not put you on them if you do not want to take them (if you know right now that you don't want to be put on drugs then see a psychologist or a clinical social worker as they cannot prescribe medications). If there is something worrying you that I haven't mentioned then please let me know what it is and I will address it.

I have seen a total of six therapist over the course of my life, some amazing, some not so amazing, maybe there is something that you can gain from my experiences.

[Tam Li Hua]

Nightmare:

Listen to Solumina and the others; they are telling you the same things that I would have told you myself.

If I were to take a guess as to what the trigger was, it was most likely your friend's death. I imagine that cutting and such was your way of grieving, and you shouldn't be embarrassed that it depressed you. Losing someone like that is SUPPOSED to depress you. When my mother died 2 1/2 years ago, I couldn't feel anything but sadness and anger for at LEAST six months later, and it took me nearly two years to feel anywhere near normal again. :/

It also took some one-on-one therapy and some time on the other side of the country away from my family for me to be able to figure out how to handle it. [On that note, don't be scared of therapists; if they are the right kind, they will guide you in helping you help yourself. They are usually very friendly. If they aren't, then they aren't a very good therapist. :P ]

Ophelia: While I agree with you that one shouldn't trust anyone on the Internet about mental health issues, I'm not a teenager; I'm 29 years old, soon to be 30 this coming August. ^^;;;

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

What if they are the wrong kind though? I feel nervous about asking my parents to see a counselor... I don't really know why I would want to. This is probably taking my dad's lecture too far :\

[Solumina]

If you do see a therapist and you do not feel comfortable then see someone else, it is quite common for people to just not click with a therapist, even a good therapist, so there is nothing wrong with saying that you think it would better for you to see someone else without you needing to give a reason. Truthfully there aren't many bad therapist out there and the ones who are bad tend to be psychoanalytical psychiatrists. If you see a humanistic/cognitive psychologist then there isn't much of a chance at all of any problem other than you and your therapist simply not being an ideal match.

If you are really resistant to seeing a therapist then don't feel as though you have to just because people on here have told you to do it. That being said a lot of people aren't too keen on the idea of therapy until they try it and realize how much it can help them. If you are nervous about talking to your parents then is there maybe someone in your school that you could see (guidance counselor maybe? Although they can really be hit or miss and some don't really have much training in this kind of thing). If you don't know exactly what to say then just be honest and tell your father that you are really unhappy with your current relationship with him/that you feel like you can't express yourself/that you aren't really happy/that you thing you have some unresolved grief from when your friend died/whatever you feel is wrong and that you think it may be helpful to see a psychologist to help you sort things out.

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

There aren't any actual counselors at school, but the school coordinator does some things like that. She's not very good though. A few of my friends have gone to the office, with depression problems and they've only made it worse.
And for telling my parents, it would feel kind of weird just walking up to mum or dad and saying "I wanna go see a counselor". I mean I don't know a reason to go..

[Mir]

Why can't people use the standard font colour? /rant

[NightmareInShiningArmour]

A few reasons.
1 - It was put there so people can use it if they want. I want to.
2 - It stands out more, it's a lot easier to find your posts because not many people actually have the same colour or font.
3 - It looks cool.
4 - Refer to 3, 2 and 1.
5 - All of the above.
6 - The colour may symbolise something.
7 - Refer to 8.
8 - See all of the above.

[Methadrine]

Originally Posted by NightmareInShiningArmour

3 - It looks cool.

Are you daft? Red does not look cool. It looks silly and warm.

[Solumina]

I have to agree, I am not a fan of the red, it is just uncomfortable to read. I do, however, like some of the other colors, such as the vanilla-ish color that Tam used a little higher on the page

[thekorupt]

Nightmare... you know I think your cool, so if what I say seems condecending, its just that I'm older than you, and I've been where you are, and I don't mean it in an insulting way.

Your Dad is scared. Plain and simple. Listen.. men have a tendancy to be ridiculously insecure. They hide it well, and they even deny it to themselves, but your dad isn't just afraid for you. He is afraid he failed you. He is afraid that he went wrong somewhere. He may even resent himself.
If you want to connect with him, start with some extreme empathy. You can't even imagine how much he loves you. I promise you, he would lay down his life for you.
I know its frustrating, honey. I used to cut myself too, during my early to mid teenage years. People grow up and get past that sorta thing. But sometimes its really hard to make others see that you have moved forward.
But still... be true to yourself. If he cant accept you, his loss. But you will regret losing yourself for someone else.

[JCC]

Originally Posted by thekorupt

men have a tendancy to be ridiculously insecure.

I stopped reading there. You're a buffoon.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

Ophelia: While I agree with you that one shouldn't trust anyone on the Internet about mental health issues, I'm not a teenager; I'm 29 years old, soon to be 30 this coming August. ^^;;;

You...
Are 29?!?!?!

JESUS.
I can't even believe that.
You shouldn't have told me that.
Oh my God.

[MollyMac]

Originally Posted by JCC

I stopped reading there. You're a buffoon.

You proved her point.

[JCC]

Originally Posted by MollyMac

You proved her point.

Hahaha. It always irks me when people say shit like that. It's like saying blacks have a tendency for being insecure.

[MollyMac]

Yeah, I know what ya mean. All generalizations tend to be irksome (**wonders if that is a generalisation in and of itself? How meta**). I know people tend to make them based on personal experience, but one's experience is not the only rule to sociology.

My rant:

How the fuck can Jessee Jackson be a proponent of equality when Michael Richards gets raked over the coals (by Jesse, no less) for use of the "N" word (rolls eyes, how childish is our society when we relegate a word we all know to the "N" word or "C" word or "F" word. We are not idiots, we know what the word is. And We say it in our heads when you pull that shit, Mr. Media. You gain nothing in this practice- why are you then still allowed BITCH and WHORE????) when Jesse himself said it of Obama's followers?

And he is not getting near the flack of Richards or Imus. His apology was immediately accepted. He did not need rehab to deal with the hatred he apparently holds for his own race. What the fuck?

Bear in mind, I don't care for the "N" word or the likes, my rant is this-
How can there be equality when there cannot even be a shared vocabulary? If a man cannot say bitch, but a woman can? If a black person can say the "N" word, but a person of another race can't...

I know that within a social group (racial, national, gender based etc..) that slurs are used in a familiar fashion without the baggage of a perceived majority using it as pejorative. All the same, I think it is hypocritical for Jesse tp be forgiven so easily when others were not.

Is it that the forgiveness of the offended party matters above that of the population?

I seriously don't know.

It all just pisses me off.

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

You...
Are 29?!?!?!

JESUS.
I can't even believe that.
You shouldn't have told me that.
Oh my God.

Hey, I don't have any illusions about my flaws. I know I can be -very- daft sometimes; it's something I've just come to accept. Just gotta do the best I can with what I've got, ya know? *shrug* Not sure why that's so surprising. O.o

How old are you, if I may ask?

[Tam Li Hua]

Originally Posted by JCC

Hahaha. It always irks me when people say shit like that. It's like saying blacks have a tendency for being insecure.

It's not at all the same thing. On average, males in Western culture have difficulty expressing their emotions properly. I have several guy friends who, rather than cry or something, will get headaches if they are stressed or angry or frustrated.

There's still the mentality than in order for a guy to be a 'real man', he's got to not show any weaknesses such as crying or what-not. I by no means condone that kind of mentality, but it -does- exist as the majority.

[JCC]

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

It's not at all the same thing. On average, males in Western culture have difficulty expressing their emotions properly. I have several guy friends who, rather than cry or something, will get headaches if they are stressed or angry or frustrated.

There's still the mentality than in order for a guy to be a 'real man', he's got to not show any weaknesses such as crying or what-not. I by no means condone that kind of mentality, but it -does- exist as the majority.

It exists as the majority because your friends are like it? That's fucking redundant logic. Most of my friends are Atheist or Agnostic, does this mean that the majority of people are Atheist or Agnostic? No.

[MollyMac]

"On average, males in Western culture have difficulty expressing their emotions properly."

Define "average".

Define "properly".

[thekorupt]

Originally Posted by JCC

I stopped reading there. You're a buffoon.

Let's start here. You didn't even finish reading the post, so you don't even get the point. Next, you are fourteen fucking years old. You aren't even a man yet. What do you know about it? And if you ask me what do I know about it, I am married. I promise you learn more about the opposite sex than ever humanly possible when you are with them day in and day out in a relationship bond. Also, I asked my husband. His comment "What the fuck does a 14 year old know?"

Kid, get a clue, ok? It isn't a stereotype. It isn't even meant to be insulting. More of an insight to help nightmare deal with his dad. Just like saying women are often more emotional than men. Is that a stereotype? OR IS IT JUST FUCKING TRUE? Does that mean ALL men or women are "_______"? NO. It means most are.

We have a abnormal look at how men handle emotion in this society. Whether you choose to see it or not. You merely show your ignorance and naivety.

And Molly is right. You proved my point. When your "manhood" (more like boyhood) was challenged, you got your little feelings all hurt. Waaaa...

Grow up and read a psychiatric journal sometime and get an insight into the world around you. And beyond you.