Either I'm very superficial...

Godslayer Jillian · 08-01-2008, 02:29 AM

Or you guys have very low standards.
I was just thinking of how I've seen past mentions periodically about how this is pretty and that is pretty and she is pretty and he is pretty, and I just can't relate. I stay quiet because if I said something it would be "really?"
Don't get me wrong; of course I'm not solely interested in physical appearance, and I'm pretty sure I haven't given that impression. But I'm not one to call someone beautiful when they're not (if the conversation is in a physical context). Then again, you might say, good looks are subjective, but that comes back to my feeling that many of you guys have low standards.

Now, don't anyone get offended. This is not a rant. It's more of a whine. It's not a way of claiming you guys are ugly and I'm the only pretty one or other bullshit like that.
It's just that I have genuinely thought this many times and it seemed like it's something you ought to know about me. If it turns out I am shallow, I can live with that, but I wouldn't want to keep that to myself.
Make your own judgments, but I do feel it is a relevant part of me for those who like knowing me that, pretty as I might consider myself, I take me as a bare minimum standard.

Tismine · 08-01-2008, 02:41 AM

I'm terribly sorry if the following doesn't make sense, but I'm running solely off of coffee and tea:

I don't think that you're superficial, you just have different ideas of beauty. In my opinion, people are a bit like art. You can walk up to a painting and despise it, while the person next to you thinks that it's the most beautiful thing in the world.
But that is just beauty, which pretty is decidedly not. I suppose that pretty is just a watered-down version of true beauty. Beauty makes you stop in the street and stare, prettiness makes you stare at them for a second or so and then go about your life.
Also, in the risk of having my compliments never be listened to again:
occasionally, (read: very frequently) we'll lie. It just makes someone feel good to hear someone compliment them. As long as said person isn't insanely ugly, I will usually tell them that they're pretty, or at least attractive. Everyone loves to feel special, and if I can make that happen, I will.

Oh, my goodness, I do hope that that makes sense. It does in my head..

gothicusmaximus · 08-01-2008, 03:32 AM

I'm surprised you reduced the possible explanations for what you've observed to that binary.
The obvious answer is neither that you're superficial nor that gnet members have low standards, but rather that people lie to make others feel better.
Duh, Jillian.

MollyMac · 08-01-2008, 04:33 AM

Agreed with Gothicus for 98%, will add in that 2% can very well be different tastes in appearance. I call it the Sarah Jessica Parker effect. Seems everyone but me thinks she's pretty.

I wouldn't say you are superficial, just that not everyone here is pretty

Solumina · 08-01-2008, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MollyMac

I call it the Sarah Jessica Parker effect. Seems everyone but me thinks she's pretty.

Oh you're not the only one.

Yeah I have to agree with GM and Molly, there is a bit of self esteem bumping going on, especially in the picture thread. Most of it isn't a total lie just a bit of an exaggeration.

TurquoiseXx · 08-01-2008, 08:48 AM

Jillian, I definitely get where you're coming from. I think it really comes down to not hurting someone's feelings or trying to agree with others. It really does help being honest, but I usually go by this: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. I know that sounds cheesy.

I've gotten and still do get many compliments from men and women, but I'm sure there are people out there who won't find me attractive at all. Will that upset me? No way. Do I think I'm the most beautiful thing in the world? Definitely not. I bet that most of you guys here wouldn't even find me attractive because I'm so plain. It doesn't even bother me.

I think it's mainly true when they say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Underwater Ophelia · 08-01-2008, 09:13 AM

Also people always exaggerate like crazy.

I mean, someone sees a picture of a chick and says, "Wow, you're BEAUTIFUL!"
But really, the person saying it probably just thinks they're all right, or just kinda pretty.

HumanePain · 08-01-2008, 09:30 AM

I think it is half Tismine and half GM. For example: ZyklonB posted a picture of him and his girlfriend. Every guy likes to hear he has an awesome girlfriend so complementing her is shooting fish in a barrel as far as how well it will be received. I personally think she radiates a healthy and youthful attractiveness, but to others she may just look emo. But Tismine is right too: honeythorn is almost hypnotically beautiful to me, but to a shallow and superficial casual she may only be seen as "pleasingly plump goth chick". Yeah, there is a little social "grooming" going on (no matter how many ticks you pick off the hairy chimp, it is still just a hairy chimp) but there is also a genuine perception difference based on our individual cerebral wiring.

KontanKarite · 08-01-2008, 10:26 AM

I just refrain from telling anyone my really bad thoughts. And low standards? Jillian, jillian, jillian... they were harping on your beauty as well. So the standards can't be that low. I digress.... Some people's opinions DO reflect a lack of wanting excellence.

But then again, tasteful ugliness can be attractive. I personally don't know why, but anyone that can pull off rough and ugly, especially females, strike me as attractive.

TurquoiseXx · 08-01-2008, 10:57 AM

What do you mean by rough and ugly Kontan? Excuse me for being so curious - it just stuck out like a thorn on a rosebush.

Beneath the Shadows · 08-01-2008, 10:59 AM

Whether or not someone finds someone else pretty that a third someone does not is not a matter of high or low standards. Just different standards.

TurquoiseXx · 08-01-2008, 11:01 AM

You are right Beneath.

KontanKarite · 08-01-2008, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TurquoiseXx

What do you mean by rough and ugly Kontan? Excuse me for being so curious - it just stuck out like a thorn on a rosebush.

Well, take you typical punk or deathrocker for example. They're usually not the epitome of pretty. Deathhawks, chelseas, exposed bits of scalp, and unsightly piercings. Hell, some of them may even have a kind of smell about them. Not to mention that a lot of the more DIY ones tend to look a bit ragged and dirty as an aesthetic.

Anyone that can pull off ugly like that is fucking hot in my book.

TurquoiseXx · 08-01-2008, 11:49 AM

Ooooh, ok. I get you now. Thanks