A really bad poem that popped into my head

mizery · 09-29-2008, 03:12 AM

Once upon a time
the end

Never begining
is the life of a child
there thoughts never shared
there ideas never heard

Always ending
they have no say about there lives
what goes on behind losed doors
is rarely heard
and those that are
will never be the same

END!

So yeah, bring the critism if you must.

Minyaliel · 09-29-2008, 08:08 AM

.... I´m at a loss. Why, for Heaven´s sake, would you want to post a poem you think is terribly bad?

Anyway, I would hardly call this poetry at all, just a jumble of words.

mizery · 09-30-2008, 03:42 PM

Simply because I had nothing to do.

Minyaliel · 09-30-2008, 04:59 PM

That´s a bloody waste of time. Both yours and mine.

Jaye Jang · 10-01-2008, 07:03 PM

Mizery, If you don't have anything else to do go hang out on horrorfind.com or something. If you post 'bad' poetry here, you will get flamed, (or as they say in our home state, 'reamed out the rear axle').

mizery · 10-03-2008, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaye Jang

Mizery, If you don't have anything else to do go hang out on horrorfind.com or something. If you post 'bad' poetry here, you will get flamed, (or as they say in our home state, 'reamed out the rear axle').

Reamed out the rear axel? I've never heard that one before.

Jaye Jang · 10-03-2008, 07:39 PM

Mizery, what part of Idaho are you from? I'm from the mountains.

Solumina · 10-03-2008, 08:07 PM

hehehe reamed out the rear axle, I have never heard that before but I like it

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 10-04-2008, 05:12 AM

It reminds me a little of myself, what sometimes goes through my head.

The lack of proper spelling really detracts from it, and you're not famous or have not messed up in a way that allows you to trick us into believing it is intentional if you ever had any such plans.

and Min, I don't think you're a writer, or much of a poet, go shove a club up your cunt and jiggle it around maybe that'll stimulate something fun in you. On that note, despite all I've said, Mizery do the same and correct your spelling..

I just finished some 20 or so poems by Bukowski and as usual they've left me pissed.

Saya · 10-04-2008, 06:15 AM

Curse you Bukowski!!!!! You have infected another with your old man bitterness!!!!!!!

Minyaliel · 10-04-2008, 06:35 AM

Corpsey, that was really uncalled for. I can accept that you don´t like the poetry I´ve posted here from time to time. I don´t have any ambitions of becoming a writer. But seriously, my writing skills are irrelevant, and not the topic of discussion in this thread.

Anyway, I would like to remind you that my first languages are German and Norwegian, not English, which will always show in the things I write. And if you don´t like my stuff, why not be man enough to actually dig up something I´ve written and tell me exactly why you don´t like it in civilized terms. That´s much more constructive than flaming people.

Minyaliel · 10-04-2008, 06:57 AM

By the way, Miz, I want to apologize for post # 4 up there. I´m really sorry - I´ve had a tough time lately, but shouldn´t have let that out on you. Sorry.

JCC · 10-04-2008, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minyaliel

Corpsey, that was really uncalled for.

It was hilarious. Anything amusing is justifiable.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 10-04-2008, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Anyway, I would hardly call this poetry at all, just a jumble of words.

This is all I need to show to you Min, to me, poetry is often just a jumble of words, as is everything we say in everyday speech, it's natural.

Why should I dredge up some of your work and go to the effort of critiquing it, there's nothing manly about doing such a thing, and I've never been one to be manly anyway.

Oh, and English isn't your first language?
I

don't

fucking

care

You write in it, you make it good, regardless.

Jaye Jang · 10-04-2008, 03:46 PM

Miz, Sorry if I gave you the impression I was criticizing. Work on the poem a little bit. Check out a few websites if you're bored. Work on your spelling. (There is a spellcheck. It's just temperamental). Do be careful if you post something here because this is a net site, so the standards are pretty high because they have to be. Just an FYI. (Believe me, I forget myself sometimes and I get 'flamed', 'fried' and occasionallly 'parbroiled.' Just don't take it personally).

Minyaliel · 10-04-2008, 04:15 PM

Well, if you don´t care, then why bring the subject up? Anyway, I will not waste my time on an argument which obviously will not turn out to be neither interesting nor constructive. I´ll be off. It´s terribly bad manners to take over someone else´s topic anyway.

mizery · 10-05-2008, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Minyaliel

By the way, Miz, I want to apologize for post # 4 up there. I´m really sorry - I´ve had a tough time lately, but shouldn´t have let that out on you. Sorry.

I understand. Thank you for the apology.

mizery · 10-05-2008, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaye Jang

Mizery, what part of Idaho are you from? I'm from the mountains.

I'm from Nampa, unfortunatly.

mizery · 10-05-2008, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaye Jang

Miz, Sorry if I gave you the impression I was criticizing. Work on the poem a little bit. Check out a few websites if you're bored. Work on your spelling. (There is a spellcheck. It's just temperamental). Do be careful if you post something here because this is a net site, so the standards are pretty high because they have to be. Just an FYI. (Believe me, I forget myself sometimes and I get 'flamed', 'fried' and occasionallly 'parbroiled.' Just don't take it personally).

Yes i've realized that by now, thank you for the advise.