insufferable, self obsessed egoism

pixy_dust · 11-10-2008, 02:22 AM

I find people who are obsessed with talking about their own lives highly disturbing. I got acquainted (I really don't consider her a friend) with a girl who used to work with me and we've always been on friendly terms & we've been out together etc. The last time she drove me home, halfway, I wanted to shut her up. She would go on and on and on and on and on about everything that is her life & her friends. She won't even stop for a breath and let you get a word in. The fact that she was a competitive sportsperson makes her ego worse. If anyone knows competitive sports people, do you notice a similar thing with them? (another atheletic girl back in school had an ego that stank)

Now, today she came back to visit us at work & I sat down with her for lunch. She was disturbingly even more self obsessed than ever & sat there reciting everything that happened in the last 3 months from her friend getting killed instantly in her car crash (I'd expected her to at least express some sort of emotion at that, but it sounded just like another item in her oh-so-brilliant life), to winning 3 gold medals (I just wanted to kill that smug look on her face), to the 3 trillion sporting activities she did at the snow.

I sat there looking away. Like, can't you shut the fuck up or carry a conversation like a normal person? Arggh I'm still annoyed.

If you haven't come across anyone like that, I pray you won't ever.

jack_the_knife · 11-10-2008, 02:28 AM

Well, not quite like that, but I do know some people that behave like they're the best thing since sliced bread. It can get quite unnerving. What usually irritates them ( to my satisfaction ) is if you just partially ignore them and go "uh-huh" to their questions in an uninterested sort of fashion. And if they ask you a question just give a completely off-topic answer. Eventually you'll get rid of them.

Sanguine Mind · 11-10-2008, 02:49 AM

i just ignore them and think about my hair, lol jk...

though ignoring them seems to work, just make it (somewhat) obvious that your not listning to them, but try to be subtle, if your too obvious they might get offended, or just keeping talking...

jack_the_knife · 11-10-2008, 03:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanguine Mind

If your too obvious they might get offended.

That's a bad thing?

a morbid curiosity · 11-10-2008, 07:17 AM

Most people who are like that are just trying to compensate for their lack of real self-esteem. I'm friends with a fair few, I just humour them.

HumanePain · 11-10-2008, 07:22 AM

I had a friend and coworker who was like that. He would talk non stop during our entire lunch break, and our other mutual friend and I would look at each other like "wow, when will he stop?".

When I started telling him "hey man, people can't get a word in edgewise with you." he admitted he was on drugs. Two weeks later he committed suicide, and left a note saying the mutual friend (also a coworker) and I were his two closest buddies. We never saw it coming except for one tiny clue: the day before he killed himself we were at lunch and he was depressed about having lost his divorce settlement and was totally broke, having to give all of his money to his wife for alimony and child support. I offered to give him some money, took cash out of my wallet and put it in front of him and he said "I can't. I just...can't". He knew he wasn't going to be able to pay it back.

Looking back, that was what he was talking constantly about: the divorce, the financial stress, the court hearings...it was all so much pressure he had to let it out somewhere.

Underwater Ophelia · 11-10-2008, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pixy_dust

insufferable, self obsessed egoism

You called?

Dr. Unicorn · 11-10-2008, 06:14 PM

I nod and agree with them and then tell them about my own life.

PinstripesAndPithHelmets · 11-10-2008, 06:18 PM

Really? Well this problem is nothing! Let me tell you about the time that I .....

Jonathan · 11-10-2008, 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

You called?

Oh, you're mostly sufferable.

--

That chick might not be trying too egotistical, she might just feel like she needs something to show that she is worth your time. Some people are just socially fucking awkward and for whatever reason cannot pick up on the fact that you are either not interested or getting annoyed.

It could just be a matter of not knowing how to chill her ass out. Or she could truly suck, I'd have to be there.

Good luck with it - if it gets too obnoxious you could always tell her to go away.

---

HumanePain, sorry to hear about that. Had a fellow at work a few years ago commit suicide by car, just as he was starting to open up and go from guy I would see to guy I would exchange words with. Story for another time maybe.

pixy_dust · 11-10-2008, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonathan

Some people are just socially fucking awkward and for whatever reason cannot pick up on the fact that you are either not interested or getting annoyed.

socially fucking blind i'd say.
thank goodness she's not coming back to work.
Human paine, so sorry about your colleague, I guess he was behaving like that for a reason.

oh. I vaguely remember hearing that none of that girl's friends turned up for her going away party. She probbably never got the clue there's something wrong with her.

Solumina · 11-10-2008, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pixy_dust

socially fucking blind i'd say.
thank goodness she's not coming back to work.

oh. I vaguely remember hearing that none of that girl's friends turned up for her going away party. She probbably never got the clue there's something wrong with her.

She seems to have a really hard time forming connections with people so, instead of maybe talking to her about how it can sometimes be frustrating that she dominates conversations, you are just going to ignore her and then dis her on a message board. Did I get that right?

HellforgedX · 11-10-2008, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

I had a friend and coworker who was like that. He would talk non stop during our entire lunch break, and our other mutual friend and I would look at each other like "wow, when will he stop?".

When I started telling him "hey man, people can't get a word in edgewise with you." he admitted he was on drugs. Two weeks later he committed suicide, and left a note saying the mutual friend (also a coworker) and I were his two closest buddies. We never saw it coming except for one tiny clue: the day before he killed himself we were at lunch and he was depressed about having lost his divorce settlement and was totally broke, having to give all of his money to his wife for alimony and child support. I offered to give him some money, took cash out of my wallet and put it in front of him and he said "I can't. I just...can't". He knew he wasn't going to be able to pay it back.

Looking back, that was what he was talking constantly about: the divorce, the financial stress, the court hearings...it was all so much pressure he had to let it out somewhere.

Damn, that's no bueno, Aitchpee. At least you know that what little enjoyment he got outta life at the end there was brought in part by yourself and your mutual friend.

pixy_dust · 11-10-2008, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

She seems to have a really hard time forming connections with people so, instead of maybe talking to her about how it can sometimes be frustrating that she dominates conversations, you are just going to ignore her and then dis her on a message board. Did I get that right?

She's moved to another town so i wouldn't being seeing her much.
Not that she has a hard time connecting to people. She puts herself a notch above you. And I know other people who are friends with her and seem to get along ok though. It's probably our complete lack of common interest and extreme opposite personalities that makes it worse. I needed to vent it.

Man In Room 5 · 11-11-2008, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pixy_dust

I find people who are obsessed with talking about their own lives highly disturbing.

Shit...did you ever join the wrong board then.

But I feel for you. I've been putting up with people like that for years at my job. One particular girl has ruined my breaks and lunches consistently for the entire five years she's worked with me. I've learned to take breaks and lunches at odd times to avoid her. I intentionally complain about it to her best friends in hopes that it will get back to her and she'll take the hint but it never does. I'm starting to think her friends put her up to it on purpose.

Solumina · 11-11-2008, 09:28 AM

Is it really so hard to just say "Hey, you're dominating the conversation I feel like I can't get a word in"? Some people feel awkward when there is silence, especially when they don't know you well, so they chatter constantly, other people just don't pick up on the fact that you are not interested in what they are talking about, the best way to deal with both of these is to say very directly that you would enjoy being around them a lot more if they let you do a bit of the talking.

Apathy's_Child · 11-11-2008, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

I had a friend and coworker who was like that. He would talk non stop during our entire lunch break, and our other mutual friend and I would look at each other like "wow, when will he stop?".

When I started telling him "hey man, people can't get a word in edgewise with you." he admitted he was on drugs. Two weeks later he committed suicide, and left a note saying the mutual friend (also a coworker) and I were his two closest buddies. We never saw it coming except for one tiny clue: the day before he killed himself we were at lunch and he was depressed about having lost his divorce settlement and was totally broke, having to give all of his money to his wife for alimony and child support. I offered to give him some money, took cash out of my wallet and put it in front of him and he said "I can't. I just...can't". He knew he wasn't going to be able to pay it back.

Looking back, that was what he was talking constantly about: the divorce, the financial stress, the court hearings...it was all so much pressure he had to let it out somewhere.

That is one hell of a sad story.

Pixy - sometimes you just need to talk over people, and don't stop doing it until she shuts up.

Tam Li Hua · 11-11-2008, 12:06 PM

Heh. I'd be so tempted to break her flow of words and just ask her "Why do you talk so much?", or "So, you don't feel anything for your friend who died? How heartless can you be?", or something to that effect.

But yes, I've known folks like that. I try to avoid them, overall, because I find constant, non-sensical chatter vastly irritating....

JCC · 11-11-2008, 12:11 PM

I don't really see the problem, seems like she had a lot of interesting stuff to talk about. If she was constantly going on about TV or something I'd get it.

Tam Li Hua · 11-11-2008, 12:18 PM

JCC: I dunno; I find it a little disturbing that she didn't stop to show any feelings about her dead friend, either.

Then again, everyone has different ways of dealing with the death of a loved one...

JCC · 11-11-2008, 12:21 PM

All we have to go by is that pixy_dust said that it seemed like she didn't care and treated it like another event.

Personally I don't see why she should have to flail around, crying, wailing and flagellating herself from sheer despair to communicate that it's a sad thing.

Tam Li Hua · 11-11-2008, 12:35 PM

JCC: One doesn't have to go into full mourning mode in order to show a little respect for the recently deceased; simply a pause or something in memory of them would be enough.

It's treating a Death as if it's no more important than shopping for shoes is what disturbs me..

gothicusmaximus · 11-11-2008, 01:01 PM

Hah, Godslayer Jillian. One more thread about me. This puts me in the lead, if I'm not mistaken.
Oh, wait, this isn't about me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

JCC: One doesn't have to go into full mourning mode in order to show a little respect for the recently deceased; simply a pause or something in memory of them would be enough.

It's treating a Death as if it's no more important than shopping for shoes is what disturbs me..

Tam, I'm reasonably certain Pixy is exaggerating when she says this girl expressed absolutely NO emotion when speaking of her friend's death-- not only did it happen three months ago, which would allow the average person sufficient time to grieve, but Pixy, motivated by her obvious jealousy of someone more interesting and accomplished than she is herself, is inclined to hyperbolize said someone's negative qualities.

Solumina · 11-11-2008, 02:54 PM

By the end of the first month after my father had died I no longer registered any change in emotion when telling people that he had passed. It wasn't that his death didn't matter, the truth is that I was so emotionally destroyed that I could hardly function, but you get used to telling people about it. It is kind of an awkward subject, especially when you are talking to someone who you really aren't close with, so you minimize what you say. It got to the point where I would see someone and if they asked what had happened since we had last seen each other there would be a whole list of things and "my dad died" was just another item on the list.

JCC · 11-11-2008, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

Tam, I'm reasonably certain Pixy is exaggerating when she says this girl expressed absolutely NO emotion when speaking of her friend's death-- not only did it happen three months ago, which would allow the average person sufficient time to grieve, but Pixy, motivated by her obvious jealousy of someone more interesting and accomplished than she is herself, is inclined to hyperbolize said someone's negative qualities.

This was my original thought. Especially with the stuff about wiping the smile off this girl's smug face, I smell envy. Shit, it must suck not being great enough to be impervious to envy.